eeek it's a girl and I'm super nervous

[Evi1984]

Found out today that we're having a girl and while I'm happy I'm more scared. I don't do girly girl things, was a complete tomboy growing up and generally get on better with men rather than women. Anyone else like this or am I just being odd? I think I convinced myself it was a boy to avoid feeling like this but now that I know I feel guilty that I'm not more excited

[CreatureRetorts]

You were a girl... Not all girls are into pink and fluffy. In fact having a boy or girl isn't about having a blue or pink child, it's about having a child. Being a parent is bigger than gender.

So try and focus on the fact you're having a baby instead.

[Cassieyellow]

Have same issue! I have decided this little she has come along to test us and keep us on our toes. I kind of laugh about it. I Will let her be whoever she wants to be.. So if it's pink tutus and ballet then so be it. But hopefully she'll be into mud pies and making dens in the garden too. I am terrified, esp at the thought of a teenage girl. Huge believer in fate though so best get on with it.. At least she won't stink out the loo when older and i can shop wedding dresses with her! Good luck. X

[kingbeat23]

My DD likes nothing better than dressing up as a fairy and climbing trees. Or the time she decided to go to the park dressed as a pirate, wearing shades and pushing a buggy.

She likes princesses and potions, pink and blue. I think you have it right on the way you are saying you will let her choose for herself.

DD has refused outright to wear trousers this year, she's a sensitive kid and doesn't like the feel of them. Fair enough, think I, I have far more important battles to win than argue about blooming clothes in the morning.

[purrpurr]

You're going to have a person, not a stereotype. If you were having a boy, he could've been into pink, dolls, fashion, dance... And you'd have been out in the garden making mud pies by yourself in an attempt to lure him out.

Give your daughter a chance to be a person and not a gender. After all, you're a person.

[Thurlow]

I had this too. I was very tomboy-ish growing up, people used to compliment my mum on her her 'two boys' (me and my brother)! I had a little wobble when I found out I was having a girl, as I had a very sudden and - as others have said, very stereotypical and cliched - flash of ballet and french plaits, and that scared me.

But as others have already said, you are having a baby, not a gender. Your baby is their own person, not a 'girl' or a 'boy', though before you have a baby it is very easy to think of them in a gender-orientated way. We're 18m in and the only "girls" things I have done so far are learning to wipe front-to-back rather than tucking a willy inside a nappy (only had experience with boy babies!) and learning to tie her hair back, as she has loads of hair, more than me already. She is just starting to get interested in dolls and cuddly toys, but I suspect no more than some boys might do at her age. She is showing a fascinating mix of traditional/stereotypical boy and girl behaviour, hugging dolls one minute, dragging older boys out of toy cars the next.

What I am trying to say is that by the time they possible, maybe might start showing an interest in the things that you didn't do as a child, you are so comfortable with them as the person they are, it doesn't matter.

Plus, a boy might not have the same interests as you did as a child anyway!

[Evi1984]

Thanks for your comments. I don't want to stereotype what so ever just worried that I won't be what's needed for a girl if she's very different to me. But I think I'm just in panic mode as finding out the sex has blown my mind a little, I mean it's all so real now!!

[Evi1984]

Thanks Thurlow, just seen your post after I replied. That's really comforting and you make good points that I'm going to know her so much better by the time girly things kick in!

[morethanpotatoprints]

Hello OP

don't worry, your dd will be a bit of herself and also a combination of you and her dad.
My dd and her friends all seem to be similar in enjoying both girly and tom boyish activities.
Some days painting nails, then deciding to climb a tree.
I believe in 50/50 nature and nurture, so in a way its up to you and her immediate other family members how she turns out.
Maybe my dd would have been more girly if she hadn't had older brothers, but she has and this has helped to shape the person she is.

[katykuns]

I was exactly the same and feel silly to admit it now. My eldest is now 7 and she actually fits the pink sparkly princess brigade, but I honestly don't care. She is unique and enjoys 'boy games' and is happy playing with boys and girls. She doesn't care that I am the polar opposite to that pink phase and in many ways I have helped reinforce that gender barriers are rubbish and anyone can enjoy anything

[ringaringarosy]

I think kids are mostly what you/their upbringing makes them,if she is not surrounded by girlyness and pink 24/7 then most likely she wont be like that,not for a long time anyway.

[RubyrooUK]

I have a three year old boy. He has just spent all day playing with his very good friend, who is a girl. They have taken off their clothes, got sandy, covered themselves in dirt, read books, bashed each other with balloons, played music and run about pretending to be lions and pirates.

That sounds like the kind of day I would have loved as a kid. It is the kind of day my son loves.

Your daughter will be her own person and she will be amazing. I have never worried that my sons and I won't have anything in common and I wouldn't expect any future daughter to be just like me. We are all just people and love and enjoy each other.

Now get excited!!!!

[artyanklet]

Hi - I am a very typical "tomboy"! I have had 3 DDs. DD1 is very girlie girl when it comes to hair and make up but when comes to clothes is almost goth like (she is 19). DD2 (who is 16 well almost!) is very dainty built, loves ballet , has a figure to die for but hates exposing herself so normally covers up - we often chuckle as I encourage her to wear less and she says that other parents encourage to cover up (honestly she does need to dress down a little and its not me being tarty!!) and then there is DD3 (13yrs) great sense of fashion - takes no notice of her mother when it comes to clothes and can bag a bargain, loves ballet, rugby, mountaineering etc.....

I have taken a lead from all of my DDs, I wear no makeup yet all 3 of my girls do. I am not a great fan on clothes yet 2 of my 3 are.