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Is anybody NOT scared of giving birth?

(112 Posts)
shniper Sat 20-Jul-13 12:37:38

With my first I wasn't worried/scared a bit. My antenatal classes didn't mention anything to do with labour and nobody wanted to share their birth experiences with me so I really didn't have a clue what to expect!

My friends dad asked me if I was scared and I said no, he called me a liar because everyone gets scared hmm

This time around I feel exactly the same, only I know what to expect and it still doesn't bother me.

Oh asked if I was scared and I said no, he said 'not even a little?' no.. its not a feeling I choose to switch off I'm just not worried, end of.
In fact, I have my dd name tattooed on me and I'm more worried about having my sons name tattooed on me because I had such a traumatic experience with my last!

I get this reaction a lot when I tell people the truth, I feel as though I should lie instead and say yes I'm bloody terrified just to satisfy them!

syl1985 Sun 21-Jul-13 20:24:06

I'm not and never have been scared about giving birth. What an idiot for telling you that everyone is scared.
You know when you want to have a baby that it has to come out at some point and how that works.

Maybe not exactly how it works, but that it might hurt a bit/a lot.

The only thing I'm scared about is having a Cesarean. I'm now 31 weeks into my 4th pregnancy and I've always hoped that the baby will come out naturally.

I've always said honestly with every pregnancy that I'm a bit scared if I need a Cesarean, but if it needs to be done. I'll have one, scared or not. The health of my baby comes first.

piprabbit Sun 21-Jul-13 20:26:41

I went into childbirth knowing that my baby or I could die during childbirth.
So I was scared, but it wasn't my over-riding emotion.

Toptack Sun 21-Jul-13 20:54:53

I was calm, confident and collected going into my first birth. Unfortunately this approach doesn't guarantee an easy labour. I'm now weeks away from birth number 2 and, honestly, absolutely terrified this time round. I know this probably isn't the best approach but do feel it can be a bit demeaning to suggest to women that if only they stay calm, birthing will be straightforward. It really doesn't always work like that.

badguider Sun 21-Jul-13 22:04:40

I don't think anybody is suggesting that lack of fear makes it all easy going. Just that fear doesn't help matters.
I have always been a "worrying about stuff beforehand doesn't help" type person and this applies to childbirth too.

PhieEl06 Mon 22-Jul-13 00:10:19

I'm a first timer, 1 day overdue, not scared about the birth & labour at all, I feel so positive about it but really worried about the possibility of induction because that to me is loosing all my control over the situation! I am a massive control freak though

PenelopeLane Mon 22-Jul-13 01:36:52

Not scared here either. I wasn't scared when DS was born, and it was a tricky labour with some complications - nothing major, but complications nonetheless that required me to go into surgery afterward and didn't get to meet my baby for a few hours. I'm having another baby in 2 months and in a weird way my previous experience makes me less scared as there was nothing in that labour I could have predicted anyway or anything it would have occured to me to be scared about beforehand if that makes sense

OnTheRunFromTheAcademe Mon 22-Jul-13 04:43:52

I was scared when I was first pregnant, but I responded to my fear by educating myself about the process and by the end I wasn't scared at all.

I had a homebirth. Labour lasted six hours. It hurt but not enough to ask for any pain relief apart from the pool.

I'm pregnant again and not scared at all smile

Notafoodbabyanymore Mon 22-Jul-13 05:19:54

I wasn't scared at all first time, and ended up labouring for 71 hours, including several hours on syntocinon to speed up the labour with nothing but gas and air, followed by emcs. It was the opposite of how I imagined my birth experience would be, having educated myself beforehand, but the only thing I wish is that I had spent more time learning about ceasareans in case that's how it happened.

Second was a vbac, wasn't scared of that either, but was much more open minded about what could possibly happen, so felt prepared.

Hope all the first timers have great labours and, much more importantly, safe deliveries of healthy babies. I agree with the PP who said be realistic. Don't be afraid, but be prepared that it might not be how you expect it to be.

And be prepared to be utterly blown away by the love you'll feel for your little mite, however they arrive! smile

Frizz1986 Mon 22-Jul-13 09:06:04

tarka is right. We are not as well designed as other mammals to give birth as the pelvis is narrower and the head is larger due to a larger brain. It is why our children are born much more helpless than others as our bodies get the baby out before it gets too big to get out and also before it starts to demand more energy than we can provide for it.
You should watch BBC horizon with Alice Roberts from the other week as it explains all about birth and is fascinating.
It actually made me feel more comfortable about birth as even though it explains how we are less evolved than others, our body does do what it has to do and gives birth at the latest possible point to give out offspring the best chance of survival.

I am well aware that it is gonna hurt like hell, prob the most painful thing I will go through but I will get a baby at the end and it will end at some point so I won't be worrying about it at all.

KateCroydon Mon 22-Jul-13 10:24:42

I stopped being scared of labour while I was pregnant. It was weird. Labour itself wasn't a walk in the park but it was far far far less bad than I'd imagined before I was pregnant. YMMV, of course, but I think sometimes those of us with straightforward-ish labours almost feel embarrassed to talk about it.

BangOn Mon 22-Jul-13 10:57:36

Frizz86 - if you actualy watch the Alice Roberts show you mention; you'll see that the crux of her whole argumement was that human babies are born helpless because they've reached the point where their demands on the mother's body have outstripped her body's ability to metabolise food for them. Perhaps you missed the end of the programme?

Frizz1986 Mon 22-Jul-13 11:29:48

Bang I must not have phrased my point very well. I did watch until the end of the show and saw that our body gives birth at the point when essentially we are no longer able to provide, what I meant was that although our babies are more helpless than other newborns, our body is clearly developed to give birth when it needs to so I completely trust that during childbirth my body will do what it has to do. Sorry if i was a bit all over the shop.
I would still recommend a watch as it was very interesting in general.

Bunnylion Mon 22-Jul-13 12:02:19

There are a number of theories as to why many women have painful and traumatic births - women being "less evolved" is one. Which to be honest I am sceptical about after hearing from so many women who've had large babies with low levels (or sometimes even no) pain or need for medical intervention.

Another theory (with mass's of statistical data to back it up) suggest that the over-medicalisation of birth and the cultural terror instilled in women is another reason.

Of course there are times when things go wrong and we need (and are thankful for) medical interventions but there is certainly a higher chance of a cascading affect of pain and traumatic birth when hospitals routinely augment labour - as has become so common in the western world.

Fifi2406 Mon 22-Jul-13 12:17:17

I wasn't scared to give birth at all! More looking forward to it.

The few moments during labour that I panicked I definitely felt the pain was worse and felt like I was dying so found being calm and just breathing properly through the pain it didn't hurt was more discomfort that I could totally cope with!

What was worse than actually pushing baby out for 10 minutes was the 2 hours of stitching I had to have after! confused

TarkaTheOtter Mon 22-Jul-13 14:49:03

I had a friend who believed that extreme pain in labour was caused by fear... then she gave birth herself! Surprisingly she now believes it to be physiological rather than psychological hmm

FobblyWoof Mon 22-Jul-13 16:47:16

I was very scared the first time around. This time I'm probably going to have to have a ELCS (my DD had shoulder dystocia) do I won't get to experience it again but I think if I did I wouldn't be scared.

I think my biggest fear wasn't the pain, it was how I was going to cope with the pain. I'm such a wuss and I was sure I'd fall to pieces when the time came but I actually dealt with it very well.

I tend to be honest with friends who ask. Mainly because I had a very positive birth experience. Even the shoulder dystocia was dealt with fabulously by my hospital. I always say that it does hurt (there's no point glossing over it) but they key is to remain calm in between contractions as it just helps everything and everyone around you to help you, and that to look at each contraction as being one step closer to seeing your baby. Keep an open mind, so that if things don't go exactly to plan then it's not an issue. I didn't really want pethadine because of it crossing the plancenta but I'd have gladly taken it in labour if I didn't get on with the gas and air!

Littleen Sun 04-Aug-13 19:06:43

Not scared too much - we're meant to do it. I used to be terrified, but after several seasons of One Born Every Minute, I have come to the conclusion that if all those ladies can do it, so can I! I just hope there's no complications, and that I can do it in a pool and with some hypnobirth help and stuff. Scared of the drugs and don't want them, and we don't get gas and air here, so slightly worried how I will cope, but hey! Baby out safely is the main goal, regardless of how one gets there smile

Freudianslap Sun 04-Aug-13 19:12:59

I'm not scared of labour - its the bits /18yrs afterwards that terrify me!!

ChunkyChicken Sun 04-Aug-13 19:25:56

I was apprehensive before my DD was born, as I knew that it was a situation where it was a complete unknown & there wasn't a lot to do to influence the outcome, & of course, very few people actually enjoy pain, let alone in those sort of circumstances. I wouldn't say scared.

However, despite it not being a perfect birth (a little protracted in the pushing stage, stitches), I came through it all relatively unscathed & coped ok with the pain. It was less painful to me overall than the 2wks I endured appendicitus because I knew things were happening & soon I would have a baby etc, whereas appendicitus was undiagnosed & on-going, with no rhyme or reason to the pain. I was scared of the gen anesthetic/surgery to remove the appendix though!

I felt quite pleased to be in labour with my DS!! I'd had wks of braxton hicks & was totally fed up of the discomfort, and knew I could handle it, as I'd done it before. Much better birth too, possibly because I was calmer (homebirth) & knew how to deal the pain relatively effectively.

Shardlake Tue 06-Aug-13 23:18:46

I was scared before my DD was born, but I needn't have been. The labour and birth were pretty quick - I started having mild contractions overnight, only decided at about 7am that this was probably it and I should tell DP about it so he could stay at home with me. Then had increasingly strong contractions under about midday, we went into the hospital and DD was born just after 3pm. I'm pregnant again and not scared this time. It was really sore of course, but not the totally different league of pain I'd been expecting - just like really bad period pain, for me. Also the stronger contractions at home reminded me a bit of the stomach cramps you get with diarrhoea. I'd been particularly anxious about the actually birth/crowning and possibility of tearing, but even though I did need a few stitches, it wasn't that bad and I don't remember feeling the tearing. I remember thinking, just after DD was born, that I couldn't believe it was all over so quickly. I realise I was lucky - but plenty of women do have fairly quick, straightforward deliveries, even the first time.

Amibambini Wed 07-Aug-13 09:14:57

I'm 18 wks with first. Not scared at all, quite excited actually! I think that one thing that really helped was being a birth partner to a friend. I was down the business end at the moment of birth, aside from being a far more magical, emotional experience than I could have ever imagined, actually seeing what the body is capable of, how the vagina changes completely during the birth process, made me realise 'Ah, that's what our bits actually do.'.
Given me way more confidence about the whole thing.

JRmumma Wed 07-Aug-13 09:34:13

Funny how its been 2 men telling you that you should be scared! They've never done it and won't ever have to do it!

Im 37 weeks with baby no 1 and i can honestly say im not scared about childbirth. I know its going to hurt, and probably not going to enjoy or appreciate it at the time, but i am looking forward to it and know ill be so glad ive been through it afterwards.

After bring convinced baby was going to stay breech until this week when it turned, i was sure id end up with a c-section, so now im absolutely buzzing that ill be able to have a vaginal birth.

Franykins Wed 07-Aug-13 09:52:11

I'm not scared. As has been mentioned I feel that they are in there (twins) and they have to come out, why get scared over it and work myself up. As popettyPing has said 'I'm of the mind that fear is actually what causes a lot of the pain and complications in childbirth.;' and I agree with this.

Ok some may think I am naïve as this will be my first labour but i'm sticking with not being scared.

I do have worries about my babies being very early, or needing special care etc, but that is not specific to twins is it. As long as they are ok that is what matters, but secretly I'm kind of looking forward to labour, I want to know what its all like smile

Fairydogmother Wed 07-Aug-13 10:02:10

I'm 27 weeks with my first and I'm not scared of giving birth. I do however want to put in place some form of coping mechanism as best I can therefore I am practising hypnobirthing techniques. I'm fairly open to the fact that my plans may not go how I think and I'm prepared for that.

I don't think that childbirth is dangerous - it has the potential to be dangerous. Like so many other things in life! I for one consider riding my horse to be probably one of the most dangerous things I do and that's recreation!

stepmooster Wed 07-Aug-13 12:41:05

I gave birth with gas and air, it was hard work, exhausting and at times painful. But I told myself over and over again not to fight the contractions, and to listen to my body and just go with it when it wanted to push.

I am pregnant with my second and the bit I am most worried about is tearing, and having to be patched up. This happened with the first and honestly if they had given me the local anasthetic the first time I requested it instead of poking arond down there for what seemed like ages I perhaps I wouldn't be so nervous.

No I am not scared, slightly nervous like the thought of public speaking.

As one wise woman told me, it can't be that bad otherwise people wouldn't have more than one child!

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