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I am the worst person in the world.

(20 Posts)

I just brought some fags and smoked 3 of them.

I had an argument with my oh and my usual stress coping mechanism is a fags. I haven't smoked at all in the 17 weeks I've been pregnant.

why did I do it? I don't deserve this baby sad

anklebitersmum Wed 17-Jul-13 16:25:09

Give them to the OH, tell him to hide them and resolve to not do it again.

Congratulations on the 17 weeks with none..there are lots of women out there who smoke like chimneys all through their pregancies, or regularly sup a 'niace chardonnay' or three.

Don't beat yourself up about it, just relax and enjoy your pregnancy.


AngusAndElspethsThistleWhistle Wed 17-Jul-13 16:27:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CylonNumber6 Wed 17-Jul-13 16:34:22

If you're a regular smoker and you've only managed to have 3 in 17 weeks then you should be congratulating yourself rather than beating yourself up about it.

MissStrawberry Wed 17-Jul-13 16:36:09

Not the worst thing you could have done but while you feel so crap damage the cigarettes so you can't smoke anymore and tell your partner to stop being a knob head and do not allow him to piss you off again. Come up with something else to ease the stress of him being a prat.

I didn't even realise what I had done until I had calmed down. I just feel so rubbish.

the argument wasn't even that bad. just about his nan wanting to stay when the baby is here in December. there is no room in our tiny flat for her and I don't want her here. apparently having her stay in a hotel is a selfish suggestion and I'm only thinking of myself.

I know it's only 3 in 17 weeks and it's not the end of the world, but there is so much pressure on me to be perfect that this just seems like the worst thing I could do.

I gave them to a homeless man while I was walking home. so least I have no more.

can't tell my oh about it as he will go mental. I'm now just sitting in town on my own feeling miserable.

MaccaPaccaismyNemesis Wed 17-Jul-13 17:04:12

I was a smoker til I found out I was pregnant, and the day I found out I smoked one more and then through the pack away. I know how guilty you must feel, but don't worry. Your baby will be fine. Personally I would go home, brush my teeth and not mention it. And ideally don't do it again! grin

MaccaPaccaismyNemesis Wed 17-Jul-13 17:04:34


AnythingNotEverything Wed 17-Jul-13 17:06:15

Could you talk to your midwife? I have up when I got my bfp and was offered all sorts of ongoing support at my booking app about ongoing smoking cessation.

She won't judge you.

if its any consolation, I know I will never do it again. I feel so guilty about it that I wouldn't let myself do it again.

Sparkeleigh Wed 17-Jul-13 17:13:29

Hey, don't beat yourself up, 3 in 17 weeks won't harm the baby.

Also, his argument is daft - you should be thinking about you and the baby and what you'll need at this time. I certainly wouldn't want my in-laws staying after I give birth space or no space!

DfanjoUnchained Wed 17-Jul-13 17:16:55

Don't beat yourself up, it's done now. Your baby will be fine.
Well done for not smoking otherwise during your pregnancy.

I did the same once after an argument with my H and felt terrible.

I know. I was right in the argument. I tthink its made me feel so miserable because I dont really have a close family and feel a bit overwhelmed with his massive close family. his mum rings me every day to see how baby is doing ffs.

I've now got a 2 mile walk home in this horrible heat and will have to face oh when I get back. I just want some time to myself sad

CylonNumber6 Wed 17-Jul-13 17:41:19

oh bless you, that sounds like a nightmare re his mum!

Perhaps when you've calmed down a bit you can have a chat with him about the pressure you feel you're under. he should support you and his mum needs to back off. if my mum did that I'd have words, never mind my DPs mum!

Don't mention the ciggies, totally not worth it.

Take care of yourself xx

thanks for the support guys. today has just been one thing after another and the heat doesn't help.

MissStrawberry Wed 17-Jul-13 21:17:07

I hope your OH wasn't unkind to you again.

Stop trying to be perfect, it is a recipe for disaster! Just be good enough.

I got home and he wasn't there. there was just a note that said he had gone to his mum's to get some space. I tried ringing but he wouldn't answer and he still isn't home sad

MissStrawberry Thu 18-Jul-13 12:39:47

He is waiting for you to beg him to come home. Don't. Let him have the space he says he needs and carry on with your life and getting ready for your baby to come. Assume you are going to be a single mum and start working on your self esteem so that if he does come back you can tell him to fuck off and have him back 100% on YOUR terms.

he came home at 11 with his tail between his legs. apologized for being such a twat to me. I'm still annoyed at him though. he's not off the hook yet

MissStrawberry Thu 18-Jul-13 12:54:34

You both need to talk. Lay down some relationship rules. You have a baby to consider now.

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