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(35 Posts)
starchildmum Tue 16-Jul-13 11:06:06


Obviously it is down to a lot of things.... being ready, work, health, whether it works or not.... etc. but I was wondering:
When is the BEST TIME to have a 2. child?

My daughter is now 10 month and I think it could be nice for her to have a sibling soon.

What is your opinion?

diamondsneezer Thu 18-Jul-13 22:05:36

18m between DS and DD (best friends)

nearly 3 years between DDs 1 and 2 - good relationship but not fantastic. They would be fine though without their brothers for comparison...

2y 4m between different DD and younger DS (best friends)

Can't really remember what it was like for me!

Queenie72 Thu 18-Jul-13 22:02:15

I have a 26 month gap , first year was hard as ds1 wasn't in nursery until he did 5 hours when ds1 was 7 months. I found it quite hard emotionally that I didn't get much time alone with ds2. Thank god ds1 slept in the afternoon for almost the first year ! Now at 3.7 and 16 months I am so so glad I didn't wait any longer they are little mates ( with the odd bit of heavy handedness and non sharing !!!!) and are into similar things and I can see them sharing friends and makes life easier for days out etc. each age gap had pros and cons for me it was important that my 2 got to spend lots of time together when they were little ! Do what feels right for you and your family.

Queenie72 Thu 18-Jul-13 21:55:33

I have a 26 m

Jojo3737 Thu 18-Jul-13 21:47:39

Mine are 9 years apart! DS1 was 9 in May and DS2 arrived in June.

DS1 had reflux so was not an easy baby and looking back I think I had a bit of PND plus had only been married a year when he arrived. Its much different with DS2 we are older, more patient and its easy because DS1 is quite independent. Personally I would have struggled with two little ones.

Oubliette0292 Thu 18-Jul-13 21:08:30

Mine are 19m apart. I love the fact that they are close in age, although it was hard when they were small (they are now 7 and 9). However, as one was a summer baby (July) and the other a winter baby (February) I struggled to re-use baby clothes.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Thu 18-Jul-13 21:01:20

There is no perfect gap. It's as much about the personalities involved and your circumstances as anything else. I have 22 mo between mine and that's perfect for me but my best friend has 5 yrs between her's and thinks thats great.

workingonitagain Thu 18-Jul-13 20:52:34

24 month between ds1 and ds2 and it will be 25 month gap between ds2 and worked out fine and im sure dc3 will fit right in smile good luck

ishchel Thu 18-Jul-13 20:15:59

After your dc is sleeping through reliably. At 4y 10 m dd2 is just about doing that. :-D

PetraBaelish Thu 18-Jul-13 20:03:54

DS1 and DS2 are 27 months apart would have been 26 months if DS2 hadn't insisted on baking two extra weeks.

I was scared of having them closer than 2 years together (thought it would be a lot of work with DS1 still being so babyish and dependent on me), and I didn't want him to have to share his birth month so I wanted 25 months gap minimum. Then I had to get DH on board which took another month grin.

I think this gap works out well for us, but in hindsight I think slightly under 2 years gap would have been even better (22m +). I like how close they are emotionally and how well they play together.
So for the gap between DC2 and DC3 I would have liked under 2 years; sadly DH didn't agree at all with the concept of having a third. Now we're having DC3 anyway, albeit not planned, and the gap will be 2 1/2 years. Not as close as I'd have liked, but not too bad either.

MortifiedAdams Thu 18-Jul-13 14:58:11

DD will be 2.3 when this baby arrives. Initially, pre dd, I wanted to wait til she was jn FT school.but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted them closer to share stuff together. For instance, I want to take dd to Disney/Florida when she is 10/11, and id rather take an 8/9yo too than a 5yo grin

AlfieBear87 Thu 18-Jul-13 14:53:42

I have a 16 month gap between my 2 boys.

I found it harder being heavily pregnant with a toddler than having a newborn and a toddler.

BUT I may be biased as DH was away for 4 months of my pregnancy and (so far) DS2 is a really easy baby.

DS1 is now 20mo and DS2 is now 4mo and apart from the odd day here and there its pretty plain sailing. I'm loving it!

Locketjuice Thu 18-Jul-13 14:43:18

Also my SIL has a 11 month age gap she said it can be hard but would do it again smile

starchildmum Wed 17-Jul-13 20:37:21

Also... why did you not start potty-training when you where 32 weeks pregnant? Maybe I am missing something obvious but can`t work out why its not possible during the last weeks of pregnancy... Or is it just time-consuming and needs a lot of dedication?

starchildmum Wed 17-Jul-13 20:30:49

hi nanny. So is 2 years close or would 1.5 y be better?

nannyl Wed 17-Jul-13 13:12:52

my gap is 21.5m

(i have a 2w old and a 22m old)

tbh so far its fine, we are starting potty training tomorrow... she has been ready since i was 32w pg if not before....

having nannied for several age gaps, my opinion is the closer they are the better, but the closer they are the harder it is to start with but it gets easier quicker

starchildmum Wed 17-Jul-13 12:06:02

Sounds as if a 2 year gap works out well.... I agree with crazy head. Maybe doing baby stage, little children stage, primary school stage etc. in one go seems a good plan.
My daughter is only 10 month ( born September 2012) and now its July. I hated to be really pregnant last summer as I had a difficult pregnancy and had to stay her all the time. My due date was beginning of September and I could not travel anywhere.

So I wont start trying before December and hopefully will achieve a September ++ baby which gives me one more chilled out summer abroad before the next one. Normally we go on holiday during the summer and enjoy the Mediterranean sun. Sounds mad but the first couple of weeks are so tiering with a baby that a bit of relaxing time with husband and DD1 before the birth is important to me.

And then again, you can never really plan it and whenever I will get pregnant I will be very happy.

crazyhead Tue 16-Jul-13 21:33:05

I am pg now and will have a 23 month gap. For me, regardless of challenges (there are a couple of similar gaps in my family so I'm sort of prepared) I wanted two children but I'd rather do 'baby stages' 'little children stages' and so forth all in one go, I don't know if I'd find it easy to go back to the newborn stage when I had a five year old and at least got some sleep back!

However I am a) a bit old b) no ubermummy.

Razzdazz Tue 16-Jul-13 19:40:12

I had 21 months between ds1 and dd1, even toilet trained ds the week dd was born lol. I found it fairly easy to be honest. Ds2 arrived giving me a 9yr gap, just the way it happened. I have found the larger gap much more difficult mainly due to all of the activities that I still had to run the older ones to and the fact that they are unable to enjoy the same things. I am now due to have dd2 in 7 weeks or so and will have a 17 month gap. Pregnancy wasn't planned and I do feel sorry that ds2 is still such a baby and not expecting to find it quite so easy this time lol

starchildmum Tue 16-Jul-13 16:02:54

Sleeepthief. Goshn 4. I guess than it really does not matter any more which gap where :-) Good luck for January.

Sleepthief Tue 16-Jul-13 15:04:46

I've got a 4y 8m gap between DS1 and DS2 and 21m between DS2 and DS3. Although I had hoped for a smaller gap between the first two (the best laid plans and all that), I found it by far the easiest as DS1 was much more independent and about to start school. DS2 was only really a baby himself when He became a big brother and things were pretty tough for the first 18m. But we survived grin as you do. Do much so that all being well, DS3 will be 2y 11m when DC4 joins us in January shock smile

SummerMyArse Tue 16-Jul-13 15:03:50

I would have liked a 2 year gap ideally.

But DS was a tricky baby (reflux until 18 months old! so bad sleeper etc.) and I didn't even begin to feel like being pregnant again until he was 20 months (had a bad pregnancy too).

Also , I get severe migraines, triggered by stress and lack of consultant told asked me to not have 2 too close because of the effect it would have on my physical wellbeing.

That said, DS is 21 months, and we're starting TTC next month and hoping I'll get pregnant quickly.

I always though a 2 year gap was the "perfect" gap so am reassured by stories of bigger gaps being good!

NomDeClavier Tue 16-Jul-13 14:52:22

I couldn't contemplate it before 18months, only really ready just before DS turned 2. I'm only 17wks but I can already see how if I'd had the baby already even with DS at this stage it would have been tough, but he's changing at such a rate it should be easier. Should, I say.

MirandaWest Tue 16-Jul-13 14:48:35

I have a 22 month gap between DS and DD. I found it fine tbh - I could still remember how to do the baby things and DS didn't really notice DD was there. They're 9 and 7 now and do get on v well although they'd never admit it

starchildmum Tue 16-Jul-13 14:46:45

Hi Alanna1. Sounds good.Shared interest: does that work with boy/girl or better both same sex?

Alanna1 Tue 16-Jul-13 14:29:25

I have an 18m gap. It was tough. Is tough. But the first 12 months are nearly done, it got much easier after the first 3 months. And I see no jealousy issues at all yet (famous last words!) and am hoping for very shared interests throughout the kiddie years.

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