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why is there so much pressure to breast feed??

(588 Posts)
blondebaby111 Sun 30-Jun-13 18:34:01

Just that really??!!! At my first midwife app it was thrown In my face abit when I said I wasn't sure yet if I would but I'd feel more comftable doing both. Why are you made to feel like its such a crime. I'm only 12 weeks so have alot more appointments where this will be brought up.

I have friends who have breastfed and have had miserable babies that rarely settle, they are completely flustered with it and some verge on pnt because of all the pressure. Yet the friends that haven't breastfed or done both seem to have happy babies, they are a lot more happier in themselves and generally just so relaxed. So my views are mixed on this.

I don't want to start a debate but I just wish we could all make our minds up without midwives frowning or thinking its bad if we choose not too....just saying!!!

Signet2012 Sun 30-Jun-13 18:36:29

You do what you want to.

I bf and still do at ten months. I love it and took to it easily which I'm thankful for.

Had that not been the case I wouldn't of had a moments hesitation before giving a bottle of formula.

There are pros and cons of each.

Only you can decide what you want to do.

The best thing you can do is speak to as many people as you can, read as much as you can, ultimately wait and see how you feel after the birth Then go from there.

meditrina Sun 30-Jun-13 18:37:51

It's wrong if you feel pressured.

But if you look at the reasons - even if only in terms of health and cost - it is an extremely strong case.

Dackyduddles Sun 30-Jun-13 18:38:49

Jolly good. If your just saying. No idea why you are telling me?

Tbh you are bu. I suspect just trying to start a fight and y'know, it's nicer to debate something. Fwiw the only pressure is what you put on yourself. Chill a bit eh? Got a long way to go yet.....

MrsHuxtable Sun 30-Jun-13 18:38:54

Because it offers short and long term health benefits to babies that last into adulthood and it's the professionals' job to promote what is best for your baby.

That doesn't mean you have to follow their advice but surely you understand why they have to give it. There are many, many pregnant women who do not know the benefits of breastfeeding and think formula is just as good.

Many women have good experiences with breastfeeding and I think you can't claim they all have miserable babies.

noblegiraffe Sun 30-Jun-13 18:41:18

I'm exclusively bfing an exceptionally happy baby who settles wonderfully and I am very relaxed. Baby's temperament is usually unrelated to feeding method IME.

Bunbaker Sun 30-Jun-13 18:45:10

As a healthcare professional a midwife has to advise you on what is best for you and your baby. Your friends' experiences are merely anectdotal. Yes, breastfeeding is hard to start with, but once you have mastered it, it is a lot less of a faff than sterilising bottles, making up feeds, worrying about heating bottles when out and about etc. And it is free.

That said, I wouldn't judge anyone for not wanting to do so - as long as they are making an informed choice, and not one out of ignorance

IceNoSlice Sun 30-Jun-13 18:46:20

Can I suggest you have a bit of a read on here (try the breast feeding and bottle feeding topic) for past bf/ff debates. You will see a lot of the points of view put forward there.

I would also suggest finding a flame proof coat as this topic always gets heated!

bigkidsdidit Sun 30-Jun-13 18:47:12

Because the NHS wants everyone to breastfeed as it has health benefits for the baby and for you so in the long term saves money as well as improving everyone's health

BeanoNoir Sun 30-Jun-13 18:50:28

I think part of having kids is accepting that if you allow yourself to, you are going to feel judged about many of your parenting decisions. You need to access all the information you can and then make an informed decision.

I don't think your decision should be based on thinking breastfeeding meaning miserable mums and babies though. That's completely different to my experience of it.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sun 30-Jun-13 18:51:28

Because it offers short and long term health benefits to babies that last into adulthood and it's the professionals' job to promote what is best for your baby.

Bollocks. My dd1 was breastfed for 10 days, after which I stopped for my own sanity. I hated it and she began to cry whenever she came near me. It really got me down and I wish I had been brave enough to say 'No, I don't want this'. She's the healthiest kid I know and had her first cold at 13 months.

Dd2 breastfed for seven months. We both took really well to it and I really enjoyed it with her. Don't know why it felt so different to dd1. However she's had colds all her life and is the snottiest kid I know. Her diet is also much fattier and more carbohydrates than dd1's. Don't know if it's linked.

These days there's so much argument for and against breast and bottle that it really doesn't matter. Both have their pros and cons. You really have to just do whatever you feel most happiest and most comfortable with. Just make up your own mind and don't listen to people that want to pressure you into their way of thinking.

MoreSnowPlease Sun 30-Jun-13 18:51:42

Because it has massive health benefits for you and baby....also, saves money, for you and for the NHS due to long term health benefits which will cost the NHS to treat later in your child's life and yours.

Why would you expect them not to try and get you to at least try it.

I agree with noble, the temperament is not just down to the way you feed at all. My LO is very happy always smiling and laughing and has been breastfed for 12 months.

Surely it's worth a try?!

Ra88 Sun 30-Jun-13 18:52:17

I am 10 weeks and had this at my first appointment too . I may be flamed but o well!... I have no intention of BF , none at all, but when my midwife asked I said I will decide when baby comes along , just to shut her up because they may not realise but they do put the pressure on.

this is my second child and my dd was FF , she is very clever, confident, healthy, beautiful and growing very well !

BeanoNoir Sun 30-Jun-13 18:54:07

You don't seem to have very mixed views from your op. but you do seem like you need to think of breastfeeding as a bad thing. Is it really that clear cut that all the unsettled babies and miserable mums you know all breastfed, and all the people you know who formula fed have had happy babies and none of them have felt down at all??? You don't know any exceptions?

MrsHuxtable Sun 30-Jun-13 18:54:16


You are talking "bollocks".

Just because your DD is healthy doesn't mean the research is wrong. You know, there are lifelong smokers who don't get cancer and it is still a very real risk. It's a really stupid argument.

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo Sun 30-Jun-13 18:54:29

because its much much better for the child and the UK has an appalling bf rate?

this feels like you want a bunfight though

twinklyfingers Sun 30-Jun-13 18:55:47

I wouldn't get hung up on your friend's babies being settled or unsettled, I have known the opposite, I think it's just different personalities.

My issue with hcp attitude to bf is that, possibly in an effort to encourage more people to bf, I don't think they give enough info about how tough it can be in the early days and this leads to be people getting stressed when its painful, takes hours and hours etc. People then think these things aren't normal then opt for formula. I'm not saying this is the only reason people ff, but I do think this type of situation is one where hcps could help more.

Of course no one should feel pressure to bf or continue to bf - I didn't, I wanted to bf. I also told myself if it was too tough I would stop and not put that pressure on myself. After yourself, it doesn't really matter who puts pressure on you as it's your body and your baby - you decide.

Longfufu Sun 30-Jun-13 18:56:13

You need to do what is right for you really, I personally feel the health benefits to mum and baby means it's worth giving it a try, and seeking help when needed because quite frankly it is difficult.

I found BF very difficult (One of my nipples is inverted) but I was given a leaflet which basically told me the benefits for each week that I Breastfed and this spurred me on to bf for 3 months (I know for many this isn't very long but for me I'm proud that I tried and did this long). DS 2 is due soon and I'm going to try again.

This topic gets very heated so I'd get your hard hat on grin

MrsHuxtable Sun 30-Jun-13 18:56:40

Anyway, I'm backing out of this discussion now because it's all a bit pointless. There are enough threads on this already.

If women don't want to breastfeed, they don't need to but don't blame the HCP for giving out information.

Bunbaker Sun 30-Jun-13 19:00:03

"My issue with hcp attitude to bf is that, possibly in an effort to encourage more people to bf, I don't think they give enough info about how tough it can be in the early days and this leads to be people getting stressed when its painful, takes hours and hours etc. People then think these things aren't normal then opt for formula."

I agree twinklyfingers. DD used to cluster feed in the evenings and I felt that I wasn't feeding her correctly. I wish someone had told me at the time it was normal.

RescueCack Sun 30-Jun-13 19:00:20

Because it's normal. It's what is supposed to happen. Obviously, for the situations where for whatever reason it doesn't work out, thank God for formula - it beats starvation. But really, you can't HONESTLY say you don't understand the pressure from health professionals, can you? Given that the pressure from manufacturers has done such a number on us all thinking it's an irrelevant and equal choice.

I'm not trying to be rude, but having formula fed 2 and breastfed 1, it wasn't until I understood about nutrition and the reasons why humans now eat the way we do that it was obvious. I don't feel guilty about FF my first 2, because I didn't know any better. Your midwife is trying to arm you with facts now, rather than when you are shattered and trying to get a newborn to latch on at 3am.

BeanoNoir Sun 30-Jun-13 19:00:53

I think it's such a heated topic because, in addition to people who formula feed feeling pressured to bf, people who breastfeed can also feel pressure to justify why they're doing it. So everyone ends up feeling a bit attacked. Tbh I don't think ops like this help, it's made me go a bit defensive about bf and it not making me miserable or my dd unsettled. Which has kind of steered me away from answering the question asked in the op.

But, yes, I'd imagine a midwife will always try and let you know the health benefits of breastfeeding, both for mother and baby.

blondebaby111 Sun 30-Jun-13 19:04:02

I might actually delete this thread if I can, I was just honestly saying and no I don't have any exceptions, every mum I know that breastfed found it harder but that's just my opinion, I wasn't breastfed and I hardly had a day off school sick and I'm rarely ill now yet my brother was breastfed and was just the opposite. I think most of these statistics are made to make the health proffession seem right, they never give u the statistics for ff babies do they.
Dackdoodles, yes I do have a long way to go, I'd never have guessed and I'm rather chilled thanx shock

Bunbaker Sun 30-Jun-13 19:09:01

I think most women find it hard to begin with. I found it extremely hard.

I could feel my uterus contracting when DD fed. I was back into my pre-pregnancy jeans when she was 3 weeks old, thanks to breastfeeding.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sun 30-Jun-13 19:09:42

Sorry MrsHux but I speak from personal experience, I'm not making it up. Dd1was hardly breastfed at all and is never ill. Dd2 was breastfed and has had so many colds she's actually been ill. Sorry if I buck the trend. I can't agree that it has proven health benefits because for me, it doesn't.

However it was nice at the time and everyone should at least try it once.

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