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Annoyed by peoples comments... Anyone else ever get annoyed?

(65 Posts)
NxYxC Wed 26-Jun-13 13:50:38

Long story short, when I had DD EVERYONE was 'It's a boy, it's a boy, it's a boy'. Clearly they were all wrong.

I am now pg with dc(?)2. Yet again 'its a boy, it's a boy, it's a boy'.

I swear, people can be so annoying! Anyone else it's 'oh it's a girl' but with me all I get is 'its a boy'.

Now don't get me wrong I will be happy whatever the baby is, but I just can't help feeling annoyed when people are adamant they 'know' what it will be. Especially when all people EVER say to me is 'its a boy'. The baby will be whatever it is! grr! lol

As much as I would love a son a part of me wants it to be a girl just to shut everyone up. I know it sounds petty, but it's so frustrating! lol.

rant over lol.

MrsWolowitz Wed 26-Jun-13 18:26:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittlePandaBear Wed 26-Jun-13 18:51:30

I have a 2yr old DD and am always being asked if I'm planning another child, which drives me mad. I am now nearly 8 weeks (so keeping it quiet for now) but had been trying for a while and think it's so rude of people to ask, like you can 'plan' a pregnancy and a child so exactly! Do they really want me to talk about my sex life/cycle?!

I imagine when I do announce it, people will say 'about time' or 'I've been expecting you to say that for a year now' etc

Lj8893 Wed 26-Jun-13 19:13:39

I get many comments from many people but one woman at work has made some right corkers.....

"Ooo i reckon your gonna have a big baby, at least 10lbs"

"I can't beleive you are going to find out what sex it is, you shouldn't find out because if you don't know it will make you push harder"

Everytime she says something about her kids....
"You'll learn this"

And the other day she was moaning about her 2 kids fighting and said "you'll learn this"
When I said we are only thinking on having the one child she said "oh right, so your not having a family then"

So are couples that never have any children not a family then?!

syl1985 Thu 27-Jun-13 00:07:24

Some people can be really rude to a pregnant lady.

It's very annoying. You'll also get the nice comments. But some can be really......................................

Especially with my first child I got asked A LOT if it was planned.
First of all that's none of anyone's business. If it was unplanned and I wanted to share that with you that I'd let you know about it.

I've always looked very young and I had people even staring at me. That was terrible. Not only during pregnancy, also when he was a baby and toddler.
Even now that I'm almost 28 years. If I go shopping without my kids I still need to show my id when needed.

Thankfully I don't get stared at anymore. But that was so horrible. Some people are to stupid to understand that some woman are just really lucky and looking very young.

As if age or someone's look is an indicator that the person would be a bad mother.

If you'd judge someone on the color of his skin or where he/she comes from. Then you're a racist.
If you judge a pregnant woman on her age or young look. Then that seems to be alright. No problem!!!

I even got judged by some health professionals. That was so painful!

I never forget my first scan. I was only a couple of weeks and I felt terrible sick and I had a lot of pain. They wanted to check if it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy. My partner was also there and we were so nervous and hoping everything was ok.

I had the scan and everything was good.
What a relief. You couldn't really see a lot, because he was so small. (5 weeks pregnant)
I was looking at the picture, so happy that it was all alright.

That stupid woman from the scan. I don't know anymore why she said it. What had triggered her. But she said:
And all of the sudden you're pregnant.
On a tone and in a way clearly meaning that it was an accident.

I replayed in a very firm voice:
Well that didn't really went that quick. It took us 3 months to get pregnant. We had sex just about every night. We really worked hard for it and lost a couple of kilo's in the process of getting pregnant.

Her face! She was a bit shocked at my reaction

Shopping with my mum during my first pregnancy:
A shop assistant thought that my mum was the one who was pregnant. My mum:
She's the one who's pregnant, not my. This is just fat.

In another shop. This was a little shop with very nice fancy baby clothes, gifts and other stuff. That lady was so rude!!!
From beginning to the end totally unfriendly to me. Uninterested and gave me a clear vibe that she wanted me out of her shop.

I tried to be friendly to her and spoke about the pregnancy and my first scan. What a relief it was when we saw that everything was ok.
Her response:
Don't be too happy. You could still loose it.

That really was the last drop for me. I just turned around and left the shop. I never went back and although she had some really nice stuff. I never brought anything over there and told everyone I know how rude she was.

EggyM Thu 27-Jun-13 05:06:20

What an awful shop assistant Syl!

My MIL last week, on being told that I have gestational diabetes : 'oh you have to be careful it doesn't get too big because it might not c

EggyM Thu 27-Jun-13 05:08:50

Stupid iPhone.

So MIL last week - ' you have to be careful it doesn't get too big or it might not come out'... I kid you not.

Gerty1002 Thu 27-Jun-13 08:05:47

I also get: "I bet it's killing you not having a proper drink, I bet it's the first thing you do once he's born" ... like I'm some wino! Then when I reply with: "Well no actually, because I plan to breastfeed" I'm met with uncomfortable silence, or worse, "Really?! Why?"

Just because I'm fairly young people just assume I'll want to get my 'life back' ASAP, when actually I cant wait for family life and haven't lived the party lifestyle in years.

If there's any lesson I've learned during pregnancy it's not to judge a book by its cover!

Madratlady Thu 27-Jun-13 09:11:39

I've got all the judgyness to look forward to when I start to show and when baby is born. I'm 22 but look a few years younger.

I live in a village where most mums seem to be in their 30s though, I'm probably going to stand out by being young.

Madratlady Thu 27-Jun-13 09:12:58

Gerty I don't drink much and don't do the whole going out clubbing etc but I do miss wine a little but blush probably more because I can't have it than anything since I only had a couple of glasses every few weeks before I got pregnant.

Gerty1002 Thu 27-Jun-13 09:24:06

Madratlady I'm the same, I won't deny that I do fancy a glass of wine now and then but people act like a huge part of my life is missing. I did all my partying in my teens and early twenties and I chose to get pregnant, so it's not a massive deal to me. It doesn't help that I work in a pub so most of the people making these comments are big drinkers themselves smile

Fairydogmother Thu 27-Jun-13 10:38:17

i've been on the receiveing end of the 'was it planned'. err none of your damn business!

i'm 34 and engaged with our wedding set for september next year and my mom wanted to know if we were bringing the wedding forward because of our 'accident'???!!! We planned this baby and luckily for us our plans worked and no I AM NOT BRINGING THE FLIPPING WEDDING FORWARD JUST SO YOU FEEL BETTER!

sorry about that - it just kind of slipped out grin

everythinghippie29 Thu 27-Jun-13 12:36:36

The 'life is over', 'ooh its going to be such a shock to you', 'you won't be able to do insert anything I currently enjoy anymore' all said with smug, patronising smiles drive me mental.

Yes! I'm vaguely aware that this massive life changing event will come with surprises, compromises and a whole lot of sleep deprivation but really, why do people seem to act like this will be the worst thing that could possibly happen?!

I've also had the 'what will you do about your cats' and 'you will soon get fed up of looking after cats when you have a baby'...

I can cope with the, 'look how big you are already' comments but I should imagine I will be sick of them too soon!

Christelle2207 Thu 27-Jun-13 14:13:50

I get "how's the bump today" which really pisses me off. What kind of a answer are they after? All I can think to say is "growing". The "was it planned" one is frequent and rude.

SandraClegane Thu 27-Jun-13 14:45:53

I have 2 DSs, so the most common, most annoying thing is "Oh, I hope you get your girl!" Or "I bet you are really hoping for a girl this time!" Or even, "Were you trying for a girl?"

Grrr! I hate this whole YOU MUST HAVE ONE OF EACH mentality, as if children were collector's items and you need a "matching set" in order for your life to be complete.
FWIW I've always wanted boys, I feel quite comfortable being a boys-only-mum, and really don't care what this one is (well slightly hoping for another boy, but it's not that important to me). I don't get why people are so hung up about the gender issue, like it's all that matters (how about a healthy baby?!).

PaulineFossil Thu 27-Jun-13 14:53:16

I get told on a daily basis how huge I am and how my baby's not going to reach full term to the extent that I now pretty much dread going out. I've also been asked if it's planned. I'm in my mid-thirties, been married 6 years and have a 2 and a half year old already.

MummyOfSunbeam Thu 27-Jun-13 15:03:14

Not pregnant now but I agree the random strangers telling you negative stories about how 'life will be over' is seriously stupid. I was a first time mum and heard so much negative crap - and it was all wrong! The last nine months with my 9 mth dd have been glowing happiness and I love mat leave so much I wish I wasn't going back to my previously-much-loved job! It's that awesome - so take that random bus strangers who kept accosting me in the third trimester /)

afrikat Thu 27-Jun-13 16:20:16

I have decided that if anyone tells me my 'life is over' I will say 'oh I am so sorry you don't like your children. I'm hoping to have a better experience'.

Yesterday I had my first unsolicited bump stroke and the woman doing the stroking then asked if I really should be having all those jalapeños on my salad as it could be bad for the baby. I just stood there speechless!

NinjaHaggisHunter Thu 27-Jun-13 16:20:41

Same as you OP, everybody who expressed an opinion said boy. I was happy just to be having a baby but I was very pleased to have a girl in the end! Also had lots of comments about bump size, totally irrelevant and quite rude!

effyzm Thu 27-Jun-13 16:42:18

People always assume that this is my first when I tell them I have son who is nearly 5 they look at me with pure shock. I'm not even young. Luckily no one has asked me if it was planned or if I know who the dad is. I think I would give them a silly answer. I'm now 37 weeks and always get 'you won't enjoy being pregnant in the heat' well we live in Britain and its clearly forgotten what a summer is. Also my DS was a September baby so I've done it before. I can wear summer clothes! Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean i wear a sack!

2Labradors Thu 27-Jun-13 19:22:56

Gerty I get the comments about drinking. My baby is due at the end of November and people comment how its good timing as I can get 'drunk over Christmas'. I will probably have a glass or 2 over the festive period but I will have a newborn baby, plus I intend to breast feed, so I really don't think I'm gonna be sh*t faced! I have never been much of a drinker anyhow, I prefer the food grin

It's pissing me off that people comment on how having a newborn is hard, doing it all again, ooh sleepless nights. It's like a daily comment in work from someone. I have 2 children already, but it seems I have no idea what I'm letting myself in for, but everyone else knows this special secret! I think I might still remember, especially as some colleagues children are older than me!!

Gerty1002 Thu 27-Jun-13 23:34:36

As this is my first people keep telling me I'm going to get a shock... as if I'm expecting a baby that giggles all day and sleeps all night.

I think most of the time people are just looking for something to say, but really, what's wrong with: 'I hope it all goes well' or: 'how lovely, enjoy parenthood' smile

EMJHS Thu 27-Jun-13 23:43:42

Hi, I'm really confused I don't no what else todo.
I'm late on my period by 2 weeks the last time I had unprotected sex was march I had a period in may and it was like a spotting and that lasted aday if anyone can help would be much appreciated I have do a test can back negative thanks

elQuintoConyo Thu 27-Jun-13 23:51:11

The world and its wife all thought I was carry a DD: we have a DS.
Belly patting didn't really bother me, surprisingly because I'm such an un-touchy-feely kind of person and have a big 'dance space' dirty dancing anyone? ahem

Most stuff was water off a duck's back I found, but I did end up avoiding a couple of favourite shops and caffs due to the 'haven't you had him yet?' when I quite obviously bloody hadn't! Gonads!

I am now, however, fending off the, 'when are you having another?' questions. I just answer with a jolly, 'we're not'. If they ask a further question then I get frosty. Or I answer that when medical science allows DH to conceive, then we will have another!

hardbeingme Fri 28-Jun-13 00:06:40

'you can't be pregnant you're not married!'
erm is apparently not compulsory, its not like the sperm ask to see marriage certificate...

with twins people were way more nosey, i quite enjoyed it i try to be evasive as possible to see how long it takes for people to just cave and demand to know if i had IVF

people loooking horrfied at the idea of twins and asking if i was mad - it not like i requested them is it? no one offered me a tick sheet of preferences before conception

also if i had a pound for every time someone used the phrase 'double trouble' or told me how huge i was during either of my pregnancies i could probably have paid my mortgage off by now!

twintrimum Fri 28-Jun-13 16:20:45

hard - yes 'double trouble' - it's so original isn't it?! We aren't married and luckily no one has mentioned it so far. I may be what kept us off the busybodies radar when we were ttc! I mainly get 'it'll be hard work' (really?!? I thought I would be out every night while they sleep through from day one) and even one 'it's a shame' (just didn't ask!).

MrsW - I'll remember that one!

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