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Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

(1000 Posts)
Shazzamattazzerly Sun 02-Jun-13 17:11:30

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread ( but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

Shazzamattazzerly Mon 22-Jul-13 08:37:45

Morning ladies

Welcome maybe. Settle in and get comfy. We are all here for the duration to help eachother. Congratulations on your bfp.

Buzz I'm glad the antibiotics have helped. Don't worry about the pressure to tell the world. Enjoy this private moment. I loved having a secret although TBH I'm also enjoying the support and excitement at work now.

How was the choc cake Mariana? I'm tucking into way too many slices of the cake I made on Friday!

Crisps I feel for you approaching this difficult time. It must be very painful. And how dreadful for your friend. It was something that I was so anxious of before each scan. Poor woman. She is lucky to have you as a friend at this time. I don't share my names with either parental unit. They are much too judgemental. I try to imagine this big announcement once shazlett is here but given that we haven't agreed on names yet I don't dwell on it too much. Re cleanliness DP has suddenly stepped up since our 'talk' the other week. I come home everyday and he has cleaned something else. I'm in clean flat heaven at the mo!

Keep safe journey back. It must be weird for you and I hope the adjustment isn't too much of a shock.

Noks how were the cakes in the end? Our date was a picnic in the park. It was nice although loverboy fell asleep. Nevermind. It was supposed to be relaxing for both of us. We needed the quiet time.

Dildals. Ouch. That sounds very uncomfortable. I hope it doesn't continue for the rest of the pregnancy. Your bump sounds beautiful. What a lovely holiday. What swimsuit did you choose in the end? I'm going to get one. I don't swim much but might have a dip on holiday. Enjoy your nursery shopping with your mum. Even if you just browse. I'm also already dreading the return to work and I haven't even stopped yet.

Expat you must be on countdown now. How long is it to go? So exciting. We will have a new little one to keep trenchlet company.

Hello to everyone else. I hope you had a good weekend.

Afm luckily seeing the physio this afternoon cause my back is sore again. The midwife picnic was good. When we first arrived it was abit of a shock to see loads of parents, babies, kids, pushchairs and pregnant ladies all in one place. It felt like we shouldn't be there and someone was going to rumble us and say why are you here? You're not pregnant! But nobody did. In fact people asked me when it is due and how I'm feeling. Gosh I'm in their gang. I'm really pregnant and going to have an actual real live baby smile

One lady told me that her invaluable advice is to go to milk spot meetings. Apparently they are all over Lambeth (not sure about elsewhere. I haven't had a chance to look it up yet). They are free help groups for breast feeding and she said they are amazing.

MrsH thanks for the pm re meet up. For some reason the app has decided that I can't reply to pm's so ill respond whilst on a computer. I think you can pm more than one person. I'll start to organise the meet up on the 3rd.

Have a good day.


NoMaybeAboutIt Mon 22-Jul-13 08:50:14

Hi Shazza thanks so much for your welcome smile. When are you due?! Sounds like a lovely picnic!

Ginestas Mon 22-Jul-13 09:16:53

Just popping in quickly to say I hear you on the no sleep thing didals. I too woke at 4.30 cos I needed a wee and then didn't get back to sleep until 5 mins before the alarm went off! Not sure how I'm going to manage to be coherent at work today! The ginster too goes ape shit around 6-7ish. Hope the nasty pain has subsided a bit. Could it be trapped wind or somethink similar?!

Hope everyone manages ok with what's meant to be the hottest day of the year. Will catch up properly later!

MarianaTrench Mon 22-Jul-13 09:50:30

Hello nomaybe.

Ouch on the ribs Dildals, no suggestions other than what you're already doing. Also don't worry too much about your belly, it doesn't ever regain it's original shape but it's not as bad as people say. I would go mad in John Lewis as their baby stuff is delightful. Trenchlet lives in hand me downs and she has some from JL that she's the fourth baby to wear and they're still great. Anything new she gets is from Asda, their kids stuff is actually pretty good (once you fight your way through the endless cartoon character stuff.)

Get your swimsuit shazza, swimming is lovely when you're heavily pregnant, even if you just bob about it lifts all the weight. Picnic sounds lovely and no you won't be rumbled! If DH and I had any time together at the moment we would sleep. I had a glass of wine on Saturday with dinner and as a result was asleep by 8.30.

Don't tell family your names. They'll just say negative things and then you'll call the baby that and know they don't like it (Tell me though - I enjoyed nosying at crisps list, but will suggest more whether you like it or not as I'm terribly interfering!)

My cake was very good. DD1 'decorated' it, like a Pollock in ganache and 100s and 1000s.

So Kate's in labour now, poor lass, imagine knowing the world's media is out there waiting. £5000 a day though - what do you get for that I wonder?

Dildals Mon 22-Jul-13 10:12:29

Shazza I didn't buy a swimsuit in the end. I still fit in to a bikinis that are one size up from my normal size, so I wore that to the beach. For the pool (for 'proper' swimming!) I wear a bikini bottom and a sportsbra crop top. It might look funny but I didn't get round to buying a swimsuit and now I am quite happy that I didn't buy one. Personally I quite enjoy strutting in to the pool with my torpedo sticking out. I went to the Lido on Sunday morning and was overtaking people in the slow lane so still managed to swim in the medium lane, although I do get out of breath a lot quicker.

Dildals Mon 22-Jul-13 10:16:11

On baby stuff - did I tell you my favorite shop in the Netherlands has started doing deliveries abroad. I got the CUTEST bath robes and, wait for it, rattlers in the shape of TULIPS! :-) How cool is that! And muslins in lovely patterns and colours. All good quality and most of it cheaper than the UK shops. Also got a soft ball with a bell in it, babies have to have a ball right? I stopped buying after that, because everyone keeps telling me the babies will get so many gifts.

MarianaTrench Mon 22-Jul-13 11:52:32

Dildals, that reminds me - Hema does great baby clothes, lovely bright colours and not all pink. They last really well too (my sister lived in the Netherlands and I used to shop there sometimes).

NoMaybeAboutIt Mon 22-Jul-13 11:54:55

Hi Mariana! This cake of yours sounds pretty impressive!

Dildals tulip shaped rattles!! Too adorable!!

Dildals Mon 22-Jul-13 13:02:22

mariana It's the HEMA I am talking about, their stuff is lovely! I am SO excited about HEMA doing deliveries abroad now it is ridiculous!

MarianaTrench Mon 22-Jul-13 13:14:49

Argh! I wish I didn't know that they delivered here Dildals, I am so tempted as the baby clothes are lovely. Also their toys and when you come to it, their baby plates, cups etc. we've had some in daily use for three years now. Their website is in Dutch though which will hopefully stop me shopping on there... Plus we are going into belt tightening stat mat pay mode.

(Is UK delivery expensive?)

Dildals Mon 22-Jul-13 17:19:45

£7 pounds delivery charge :-)

Shazzamattazzerly Mon 22-Jul-13 21:10:42

A royal baby boy! Do you think that labour doesn't hurt if you are a duchess and it's costs £5000 a day? Apparently she has a fridge, wifi and satellite tv. All things that are a must for an easy birth smile. I wonder if she joined the NCT?

Wowee it is hot. And DP broke our fan so I'm not happy. Guess how many fans there are out there to be bought on the hottest day if the year!

Maybe - I'm due on 13th November. I'm currently 23+5. As I type shazlett is duly knocking around and making her presence known which is very reassuring.

Your cake sounds delicious Mariana. How are you getting in with Dd1 and the listening so your kids will talk book?

Our baby is also going to be in hand me downs. I daren't even look at hema. I love the sound of tulip rattles dildals!

Dildals I hadn't even considered trying on my usual bikini. I'll have a go. I bet your bump looked gorgeous at the lido. Don't worry about your tummy post twins. You've got Tracy Anderson to help and remember you will have your beautiful girls. Remember that lovely blog you sent us about the story your tummy will tell.

My big news is that I officially handed in my matb1 form today and booked my mat leave. I'm so excited. 18th oct and counting. I'm taking leave first then mat leave from the 13 nov.

Thanks for the pm's. DP is on my computer so I can't reply cause the app won't let me.

Gin just to say I can't go to that class because we go ballroom dancing. I'll have a look to see if there are any others.

Night all hope you manage to sleep abit in this heat. X

Buzzybee123 Mon 22-Jul-13 22:01:45

shazza I cannot believe the fuss from the press and everyone down under are just gagging for news hmm curious to the name though wink

well done on the booking mat leave :-) when is your due date, do I need to PM you about the meet up??

Dildals Mon 22-Jul-13 22:30:25

shaz thats the nice thing about hema, it is so affordable! Our kids will have lots second hand stuff, i have bought quite a few things on the east dulwich forum, NNY sales or friends (bouncy chairs, twin nursing pillow, baby gym, door bouncer, breast pump, mat clothes, car seats, bottles, bibs, cot). Matress, sheets and towels i will buy new though.

MarianaTrench Tue 23-Jul-13 07:03:27

shazza sorry I keep not answering about that book! I haven't finished it yet as I keep having other stuff to do during afternoon feeds but I will get back to it soon. It's very American but the message appears sound. We have both stopped shouting at DD1 in an attempt to stop her shouting (not working so far, but could take months). I am also no longer dismissing things she says with 'don't be daft' but asking her to tell me why she thinks that or whatever. It's hard to put into practice when she's being a total horror and then I still have to physically remove her from the room until she apologises. It has not stopped her hitting me accidentally-on-purpose either. She has told me she doesn't want a sister anymore and she wants things to be normal again with mummy daddy and her ONLY. We've talked about how babies can be boring and stop me playing with her as much but that the baby will be bigger and more fun soon. I think it has improved communication from my side at least. I no longer beat myself up for always shouting!

I'm curious about the royal baby name too but otherwise not that interested. Is hope you'd get more than a fridge for £5k a day.

I didn't buy baby towels Dildals as they're exactly the same as ordinary towels except they sometimes have a hood, which DD1 couldn't stand!

I met a nursery mum who has 6 week old twins yesterday. They were both asleep in the pram next to each other. They were absolutely gorgeous and I though of all you twin mums to be. She said she was cosleeping with them both as then she could get maximum sleep between feeds. She said she was a bit sick of people focusing on the negatives, she was exhausted, but it was far better than being pregnant with them.

Thundering away here but quietly so far. Hope it relieves the humidity.

Shazzamattazzerly Tue 23-Jul-13 08:13:38

Morning all

A very grumpy shazza here! Very little sleep due to heat and back pain. I'm not speaking to DP for breaking the perfectly good fan that I have had for years by being clumsy. My chances of getting a new one are so slim at the moment and I was attached to it while I was in the flat and trying to get some rest.

Anyhoo that out of the way. Mariana the book sounds like it has been a help. I think that it is so interesting how we get into habits so easily and say things that we don't mean really. And also using tone. I know I do it with DP and I hate it when he is in a huff I get really cross yet I know I also do it loads. blush It's no different with children. When you say 'don't be daft' you don't mean it it is just a turn of phrase but little by little these things have a subconscious effect. I tell myself I'm a muppet all the time when I've done something wrong. And it is not helpful to even speak to yourself that way. I'm glad you are finding somethings useful. You have inspired me to try to be aware of what I say and how I say it. Even to DP as there are no children involved yet.

Am also curious about royal baby name. I'm worried it will be George which is my most fav name ever and always has been but I don't feel I can use it now cause it is no. 12 in the popularity charts even without the potential royal connection.

Dildals I'm so envious of your baby stash. You have been so resourceful with gathering your items, new, secondhand and celebrity! All I have so far is a bag of freecycle girl clothes and a random new box of breast pads that I also got on freecycle. We have the promise of other stuff though. I'm also getting new mattresses for the Moses basket and cot that is coming our way. Oh one bit of good news is DPs SIL has a spare bugaboo chameleon chassis and carrycot that we can have. Wouldn't be my first choice but given that it is free smile

Buzz ill PM everyone about the meet up

I think it is
Fairy if she is free

Have I missed anyone? Ceara, Vall, maybe, juicy, keep I'm not sure where you are based. If you are in or near London we are meeting on the 3rd. Place tbc. Let me know and I'll PM you.

Keep I hope the flight was ok and you are back safe and sound.

Big hello to everyone else. How are you all. Especially the new ones worried about symptoms (or lack of)

Have a good day. X

Ps the Chinese gender predictor said I'm having a boy grin

Dildals Tue 23-Jul-13 09:05:22

mariana yes you are right on the towels actually. My mum bought me 2 (with matching bibs - these kids will have so many bibs ...) and I got 2 free in the Bounty pack (they do have Persil on it, but hey. I use these at the moment myself for the gym actually :-)). I have a feeling I may have more coming my way ... DH has a penchant for really large towels though, so to have a few small ones is actually quite nice.

On the twin mum, that's funny. Having them is better than being pregnant with them. :-)

Can I have some opinions on moses baskets? I have heard quite a lot of stories now of babies that didn't want to sleep in them. And TBH I wouldn't fancy sleeping in them either (if I was a baby - just thought I'd clarify). One of my friends' babies slept in its bassinet, but I don't have one with my pram. Another friend's baby slept in what looked like a big sportsbag with handles, it was a travel cot of some sort, but not the type you put up with the mesh on the sides. (Turned out btw that DH didn't know the difference between a travel cot and a normal cot. He thought the babies would be sleeping in a travel cot. I had to do like a proper convincing job that you can't let your babies sleep permanently in a travel cot, they need a proper mattress! As if he woudl want to sleep on a camp bed for the next couple of years!)

DH also turned out to have some ideas on how to decorate the nursery. I told him months ago that I fanced doing some wall transfers on the wall above the changing table so they have something to look at. Now he says he doesn't like them and is saying 'how about some nice framed posters' ... I may just have to not listen to him. Tell him to get on with buying a car!

vallinnapod Tue 23-Jul-13 10:18:10

Hi all!

Silently lurking and stressing here wink

Petrified the embryo's heart didn't start beating when it should have done, obsessively knicker checking and generally wishing my life away until 3pm on 6th....

Was thinking of asking the clinic to give me another HCG test, just to set my mind at ease that it is all doing what it should - any thoughts?

Also my arse is killing me! Definitely more bruise than arse now (although only one visible one!) which is making the Gestone less easy (was surprised how pain-free the first week had been)

<<disappears back to pit of despair>>

fairypangolin Tue 23-Jul-13 10:22:07

Hi all! Can't believe the fuss over the royal baby. Even on the Today programme this morning they went on and on about it. Let's have more wanky gov't ministers and reports on failing hospitals, I said.

buzzy I'm a bit late but congrats on the reassuring scan. crisps I'm sorry that you are feeling a bit paranoid as you near week 20. It is understandable though. I didn't feel like telling the whole world after my 12 week or even my 20 week scan. Obviously people I saw all the time knew and so did people who knew we were going through IVF but I didn't actually "go public" until DH posted a preggo photo of me on Facebook at week 24. I just didn't feel the urge, perhaps because it was such a struggle for so long.

dildals my baby also likes to do an enthusiastic bladder tap dance at 3am. I can only imagine how bad it is with twins. As for moses baskets, we used one with DS and it was great. Just a cheap foam mattress, I don't think they need much else. We moved him into a cot when he was about 6 months. They can sleep in anything really as long as it is not too soft and they won't get too hot.

you remember the maternity tankini in ASOS that looked a lovely coral colour? I actually ordered it but it turned out to be a hideous fluorescent orange. Went straight back and I got a bikini in a size up like you, which should be ok on the beach, although I will probably wear a tshirt over it. I figure that at least I can probably wear it again next summer since the bosoms will still be large from breastfeeding and the bottoms have ties and so can (fingers crossed!) be made smaller. I have a really ugly plain black maternity swimsuit that I got with DS for the pool if I ever have the time to do there. V impressed that you are still swimming lengths at a decent pace.

shazza I don't think I can make the meet up unfortunately. DH is away that weekend and dragging DS to London to sit with a bunch of pg women is not a wise option. Would be nice to try again in the winter when a few of us have given birth though.

mariana I sympathise with your attempts with DD1. I do find myself snapping at DS just because I get tired of certain behaviours (such as incessant questioning or insisting that I'm wrong about something when I'm not!) and it really isn't fair to him since he's only 5. I am feeling optimistic about how he'll be with a new baby but I daresay not being the centre of attention will be a bit of a blow for him.

Hello to everyone else I've missed out (*ceara*, nooknook, nokkie, gin, nomaybe, juicy)

vallinnapod Tue 23-Jul-13 12:41:26

I am quite excited about it Fairy blush

OK...just booked a private scan for 3 Aug when I will be 7 weeks exactly. I know it is only 3 days earlier but that is a life time in my world blush

ceara Tue 23-Jul-13 17:00:45

Just typed a long catch up post which my phone ate, so I'm off to have a big stroppy sulk and will post properly later :-)

Shazzamattazzerly Tue 23-Jul-13 17:00:50

Vall if it puts your mind at rest. I think that we can all relate to the extreme worry at that time. I went to a wedding and couldn't enjoy it so I went home early. I was also convinced that there was nothing in there. Fingers crossed for you.

No probs fairy. We will definitely have a post baby meet up.

Dildals we are planning to use a Moses basket. In fact we've been given 2 and are leaving one at my parents ready for the Christmas visit. A new mattress is £20 in John Lewis.

Crisps did you say you had a scan today? Was it ok?

NoMaybeAboutIt Tue 23-Jul-13 17:09:49

Hello all!

Val that's great you've brought it forward. I totally get it, 3 hours can feel like 3 day at the moment grin

Fairy I was excited about the baby. But when all they have to say for an hour was the sex and the weight.......wink

Don't sulk for too long Ceara!!

I have 3 weeks till my scan. The 13th, unlucky for some hmm

vallinnapod Tue 23-Jul-13 18:21:07

NoMaybe my OTD was 13th, so nothing unlucky about it grin

NoMaybeAboutIt Tue 23-Jul-13 19:00:17

grin thanks Val!

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