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MIL is driving me crazy

(3 Posts)
hartmel Mon 27-May-13 18:55:43

My MIL is very happy about the pregnancy. She has already 4 grandchildren and is expecting 2 more his year.
What drives me nuts about her is when we buy something really special for our baby, she wants to have it for her daughter who is expecting her second one in November.
For example, we bought a LED turtle night lamp. Yesterday she came over for lunch and my husband proudly showed it to her, instead of saying "your baby will love it" she said "can oder one for your sister as well" seriously why can't I buy something without her wanting it too.
It is already the second time she does it.
I have come to the point of not showing her anything anymore.
Which will be hard, as we sold our house and will be moving in with my in laws end of June till November. As we are planning on moving 15 hours away but didn't want to do it now while I'm pregnant.
Baby is due beginning of September.

She is a very nice lovely lady but when it comes to her daughter and her boy, she can be a pain in the Butt.
You can't go shopping with her without her going "oh I have to get this for my grandson.." ".. To bad they don't have it in the size for Ryan (grandsons name)"

I always think then "what about your other 3 grandchildren. And what about my baby. Are we not important to you?"

Anyone else have a MIL that favors just on grandchild but not the others?
How can I possibly in a nice way explain it to her..

DH noticed it too. But he thinks that once our baby is here she will spoil ours. I don't think so. As she mentioned yesterday that she can't wait until her daughter (Ryan's mom) knows what her second child will be. So she can start shopping..

Sorry but I had to vent todayangry and that it is so long

Guntie Mon 27-May-13 19:03:22

I think some grandmothers feel closer/favour children of their daughter. I know my paternal grandmother certainly did.

However, they are offering you a place to live (presumably for free) so they are helping you a lot.

I would try not to focus on comparison. It tends to lead to all sorts of unhappiness. Your niece or nephew having nice things, doesn't make your children's nice things any less nice! Just be happy that both children have people in their life planning for them and planning for them.

At the end of the day its not nice if she does favour your SIL's children but it really doesn't matter. You love your children and are going to look after them- nothing else matters!

thanks

mrsmalcolmreynolds Mon 27-May-13 19:30:18

I'm afraid I think you may be overreacting. That's totally understandable, as a lot is changing in your life and having a child shines a different light on many relationships. However, a few thingsthat leapt out of your post to me:

1. You say she favouritises one GC over the others. But that doesn't tie in with you then saying she's really excited about getting stuff for her other new GC due this year. At the most she is favouring Ryan and his expected sibling over the others. Not great but not the total exclusion of all but one either.

2. How do you know that she isn't doing the same thing with the parents of her other GC? I mean saying to them "oh I can't wait to meet baby hartmel/I must get one of those for baby hartmel" etc?

3. She may be actually trying (admittedly not very well!) to avoid coming on too strong and suffocating you with attention, especially as you're going to be living in her house. Maybe she thinks you want some space to get things ready on your own, and wouldn't want her taking over?

4. If nothing else, take it all as a compliment on your and DH's taste in baby stuff!

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