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pregnant. old. petrified. anyone else?

(8 Posts)
PintandChips Fri 24-May-13 15:58:59

i'm 7 weeks. single mum witha a DS who's 6 and was really really happy with that life - BF wanted to try for a baby, i agreed - i'm 43, thought it would take forever / be impossible / need help. i thought we'd have plenty of time to think about it while we were trying... it took 2 weeks. we don't even live together yet.

a bit of me is super happy and excited; but a big bit of me is petrified - of giving up my body and my job and my life and going back to nappies and exhaustion. And after the pain of separating from DS's dad, which has taken years to get over (if one ever DOES get over it. i feel pretty scarred), i'm petrified of that happening again, though BF is much more caring than he was. i feel trapped and tearful. i'll never have sex with anyone new ever again. Somehow that makes me really sad.

this all sounds mental, i know. i really hope it's just the hormones. i don't remember what i felt like last time.

is this normal? i want to cry all the time.

Littleolivetree Fri 24-May-13 16:01:31

How long have you been together with bf? Congratulations

PintandChips Fri 24-May-13 16:14:55

3 years - on and off. the 'off' periods being due to me not wanting another child. I just feel like i haven't had time to get my head into the idea of a new baby. i know i will be happy when it comes... i had a bit of PND last time too and that scares me.

rosiedays Fri 24-May-13 16:26:17

Hi pint I totally know where you are! II'm 43 and got totally unexpected bfp in December. Really took the wind from my sails (i cried for weeks) now 32 weeks and can't wait to meet my little princesssmile
It's a roller coaster of emotions. Come join the fab 40 thread lots of us with similar stories there.
Congratulations x

MissHC Fri 24-May-13 16:27:48

I think that's completely normal. I've been with my BF for just over 4 years. Although I'm only 26, due to fertility problems in the family we thought "let's just try, we'll probably need to go through the IVF route anyway and you need to try for at least a year and half". So we thought we had years yet. I felt so sure there was no way we would get pregnant naturally.
Anyway, I fell pregnant within a couple of days. Literally. BF obviously very proud of himself, and yes we are happy and this baby is wanted. However it petrifies me at the same time. Also that I'll now be with him forever - even if we should be break up we'll always be "linked" to each other. I do very much love him and if we had the money we would have gotten married, but now it's almost like that decision has been made for us.
So whilst not exactly the same situation, I understand your fear. However I'm 15 weeks now and really I'm getting very excited and I'm sure that my BF is going to make an amazing dad. He's very supportive and slightly over-protective which is quite cute.

Congratulations with your pregnancy and give it a little while, I'm sure you'll get used to the idea and will start to enjoy your pregnancy. Maybe talk to him though about these feelings?

PintandChips Fri 24-May-13 16:31:26

Thanks MissHC, reading that that totally helped. I loved your story too, it sounds as though you're going to make brilliant parents. i'm really pleased for you. i will try and talk it through with him but i'm worried about being negative - he's so excited and it's his first time. i don't want to rain on his parade with my 'baggage'.

Kelly1814 Sat 25-May-13 08:57:25

Pintandchips this is completely normal and I have been through the same! Am 37, husband is 44, I was on pill for over 20 years, have cervix issues, had ovaries scanned and nothing in there (!), thought would take ages. Stopped all contraception, got pregnant 15 days later. Oh, and that was around 2 days after we got married!

Had huge panic as felt had no time to get head around things, have very comfortable lovely peaceful life, felt life was over, what had I done. Also everyone will think we got married as was up the duff even when not true and I shouldn't care what people think anyway.

Am now20 weeks and after a few bleeding dramas and a cerclage, am now actually starting to feel excited. I do still get moments of complete blind terror but I think this is to do with never having even held a baby before. Have actually been on you tube watching nappy changing videos!

I am sure it is hormones, you just need to give it time. Congratulations!

rhoscolyn Sat 25-May-13 12:52:24

Im 44 and thought I was going through early menopause. I have 2 young adults already and my partners daughter is 27 so complete shock. He is thrilled. Taken me abit longer. Being selfish and thinking about the mess its going to make of my body! And the rest. So I hear you, but who put an age limit on women and when we are to old to breed ? Bring it on I say......x

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