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Insensitive comments made to you in pregnancy(98 Posts)
Oh my mother is so tactfull! She just calls as im sitting down with a tea and some biscuits after a long day and told her so, her response was "i know ur only a bit tubby now cus your pregnant but you better be carefull u don't wanna get to fat!" Cheers mum!!
Anyone else have very insensitve realatives or friends who come out with comments like this or is it just me
During a discussion at work colleagues were saying how I was 'all bump' and hadn't put on weight elsewhere. Was feeling very until someone said 'no, your bum is bigger and your face has got fat'.
I walked away and cried.
"Hi. Wow. Your breasts are massive"
Thanks, male boss. Makes me feel very comfortable. No, you can't touch them.
When pg with DC3, another dad at my CMs said to me 'Haven't you worked out what's causing that yet?'
I am so proud that I replied 'Well, if I have, I've managed it quicker than you did' - the cheeky git has 4 children!
"You're massive. It must be twins. Is it twins? Or triplets..?"
"Are you sure? It must be!"
"So how much weight have you put on this time then?"
"I dunno, 3 stone?"
"Hmmm. That's too much, isn't it." (One of my mum's many millions of insensitive comments)
"You look like a snake that has swallowed a buffalo."
"OMG. Are you having that baby THIS AFTERNOON?!"
... are you sensing a theme here?
Male colleague (my line manager actually) , on discovering i was pg, enquired if DP was 'The One' then. well I kind of hope so as this is our second child and we have been together for 5 years. he also asked if it was planned I agree that this is such an invasive thing to ask. mind your own f***king business, is what I wanted to say.
Reaction from my business partner (we've worked together for 10 years) was a fake smile and a totally ungenuine congratulations. TWO minutes later she was banging on about the financial implications for the business and how we're going to manage. Yeah, thanks. She apologised after but is since back to asking me most times I see her when we're having a meeting about it and when we're going to decide what we're doing. Well seeing as I'm only 10 weeks, I haven't even had my 12 week scan yet or gone public, not fucking yet you stupid cow.
She also tells me every time I see her how she only put on a stone during her whole pregnancy and how she fit back into her pre-pregnancy jeans a week after giving birth. One of these days I'm going to answer back and say, "really, cos you're quite fat now aren't you?". Stupid bitch. She's struggled with her weight all her life, I haven't particularly (not showing off, just stating facts). I think she's loving the fact I'm going to get fat now.
My friend said my tits look massive, and great. Which made me a bit self conscious but was a compliment so fair dos. :-)
I was a small size 8 before my first successful pregnancy. There wasn't a hint of weight gain or a bump till about 24 weeks. At my 20 week scan the sonographer didn't believe me that I was pregnant!! Ok fair enough I have a photo if me in a bikini at 22 weeks and you can't tell.
I was desperate to look pregnant!!! I got loads of comments from people who told me my baby would be deformed or wasn't growing properly! How rude!! My stock answer became "are you a qualified midwife then?No? Then I'll believe my scans showing a perfectly sized baby!!"
I just couldn't understand why people constantly needed to try and worry me! Trust me I looked pretty massive by 40 weeks, it just appeared from nowhere around 32 weeks.
I'm 18, 31 weeks with my first (as a few others, a happy accident) & I've received the following so far;
From my nan: I'm just so disappointed, your sisters been trying for a baby for 11 years, it's very unfair for it to happen for you.
Again from my nan: Have you considered putting the baby up for adoption, I mean you'd obviously have to give your sister first dibs.
From my boss: Is it a congratulations or do I need to get tissues?
From my work colleague: (on him finding out I was pregnant) Oh I'm so sorry to hear, would you like a hug?
Same work colleague: Erm can you only take the minimum 2 weeks off as maternity leave, there's too much for me to do if you go off. (I thought he was joking, no deadly serious)
Me & my boyfriend don't live together yet so from his mom: Don't get me wrong, if you were out on the streets you could probably come & live here, but you're not my daughter so I don't really want you living here unless I have too.
old friend: I can't wait till this baby comes out mixed race. (me & boyfriend are both white & my boyfriend is the baby's father)
Same friend (to my boyfriend, not me otherwise I would of slapped him): Let's face it mate, you're not going to stay together anyway, she's only 18, she's done it to get money out of you & she'll be running off with some other bloke in the next year.
Safe to say we are no longer friends with this person.
& from various family members, friends, colleagues & strangers: You're only 31 weeks, you're huge. Or: are you sure it's not twins?
Plenty of other variations of the above, yeah thanks I am now paranoid about my baby's size.
When we told mil : "oh no, we'll its still early days, you never know something could still happen" we were both over the moon...nothing rains on your parade like a mil!
And more recently, the nurse at my gp surgery rested her hand sympathetically on my shoulder and said "so did the dad stay with you then?"
I politely explained that we have been living together for the last three years and he is over. The moon. Why wouldn't he of?
She then went on to tell me that she had her first at 23 too.. Like it was some kind of poverty. Rude cow!!
"If you carry on like that your belly will be round your ankles by the end".
I'll second the 'was it planned?' Question asked by everyone I have informed which I find incredibly nosey and I'd just love to answer ' what the fuck's it got to do with you?' But they are clients so I just smile and say 'absoloutly'
My mum is reminding me on a twice-weekly basis not to put to much weight on. Just what someone with an ex ED wants to hear.
She also asks with almost as much regularity whether OH's divorce has come through yet - woe betide we're not married by the time the baby comes - oh the shame
Thought of a few more:
My boss when I told him - are you happy about it? Er, yes - DH and I already have DS and can't wait for him to have a brother/sister.
Random colleague standing behind me in work canteen who I have never met - "wow, how can you eat so much for lunch?" (I was having baked potato with cheese and salad.)
I turned round to reveal bump and just stared at her. She then proceeded to grope my bump and looked highly offended when I pushed her hands away!
MIL to DH when DH told her our news: "Dear, dear, dear, that is awful..." DH was shocked and said "Really Mum? Really?", to which she replied "Well the timing is terrible isn't it, would you rather I was pleased?"
We've been playing without a goalie for a while but stepped up our TTC efforts for a baby at this point in time in part so that she can meet her first grandchild before she dies of terminal cancer. So needless to say DH had a bit of a wobbler when we got home...
When i told people i was pregnant with twins, i would frequently hear:
"Oh so did was it IVF then?"
NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!! (It wasn't ivf. Not that it matters) I think anyone who has had a multiple preg will have had this at some point.
Also (through all pregnancies) every time I ate a meal that wasn't a minuscule portion or absolutely anything between meals:
"Well, i suppose you are eating for 2 (or 3!) now!"
I am not eating for 2. I am just, you know...eating.
MIL: "Watch they don't have your job over it."
It's OK MIL, that's why employment lawyers and tribunals exist....
TBF even FIL told her to shut up over that one!
Random Work Person in a meeting - Did you have I-V-F?
Me - No, I had S-E-X.
Loooong pause before the chair said. Shall we make a start then
At 34 weeks on the tube...
Random man: 'wow you're huge!'
Me: 'er, thanks...?'
RM: 'seriously, are you sure you don't have twins in there?'
Me: 'sigh well I might actually. I decided not to have any scans or medical intervention as I believe nature should take its course.'
RM: gapes at me
Nobody touched my bump though. I am sourfaced.
Had a lot of the "was it planned?" question from colleagues. I just answer with "well we weren't exactly trying very hard to avoid it!"
Also been asked if it was planned by a complete stranger who decided to start asking me all about my pregnancy whilst standing smoking next to me! Oh how I wish I could of told him where to go, I'm such a wuss! Just slowly edged away from him.
Also a lot of comments from male colleagues, who's partners have recently had babies, in reference to how horrific the birth was. Thanks I'm sure they would of loved someone talking to their wife/girlfriend like that when they were 34 weeks.
Have been married 5 years and was asked by a good friend "if it was planned". Felt like whacking her. If after 5 years of marriage this wasn't planned, God knows what was! She's now in competition mode and is planning a baby too.
Also, asked by my bro-in-law recently to show my bump when chatting on FaceTime. No way!! I wanted to tell him to go get a life smart arse. He was so insistent but I didn't budge. He also commented how chubby my cheeks were whereas I haven't put on any weight anywhere except by boobs and tummy. Never liked him and this incident makes me dislike him even more.
When I was pregnant I got told "your deffo having a boy look at your fat ass all your weights gone there" I was gobsmacked! Cheeky fuckers
From 4 yo DNephew 'Could you die having the baby?' I explained that it could happen, but not very often and it wasn't on my birth plan. I wasn't upset by it at all and found it funny.
'You are pregnant, aren't you?' by our server at a restaurant when 35 weeks. She was the first stranger to ask. I had DD1 5 days later.
'No you're not!' MIL's reaction to our news. We'd done an ace job of saying we were not having children so she wouldn't bug us every 10 minutes.
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