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Have a laugh at my expense...i'm nice like that...

(30 Posts)
AbiElizabeth Tue 21-May-13 14:49:52

So yesterday was my booking appointment and i'm not sure it could have gone any more embarassingly...

first off we walk into the waiting room and the MW asks if I am Maria...I completely forgot my own name and stood there open mouthed untill my OH told her I wasn't maria. MW then gives me a pot to do my urine sample in while we're waiting so off I trot to the loo to do the deed.

I go into the toilet and try to find the light switch...end up accidentally pulling the emergency cord and cue 2 women rushing over and knocking on the door shouting if im okay...

then I sit on the loo and try not to pee all over my hand as I do the sample..finish the sample...hiccup and drop the sodding thing down the toilet. I had to fish it out and put it in the bin and go and explain to the MW that I had dropped the pot down the loo and I needed a new one. This caused alot of laughter from the OH

The actual bit in the office went alright apart from a bit of freaking out when she got the needle out for the blood test.

So there you go guys, laugh it up. I don't mind. grin

Futterby Tue 21-May-13 15:02:31

Sorry, I did laugh. Sounds just like something I would do! I actually threw up during my twelve week scan today! blush

AbiElizabeth Tue 21-May-13 15:05:47

Oh no! futterby I almost threw up on the nurse when she was taking blood. Had to run off to the toilet as soon as she was done.

My OH found it hilarious as I am always like that and I can imagine that pregnancy is just going to make me worse.

cogitosum Tue 21-May-13 15:07:33

I really struggle with urine samples. I'm always dropping them down the loo or forgetting to do them (even though that's what I've gone to the loo for!)

Forgetfulmog Tue 21-May-13 15:07:40

PMSL at "dropped the sodding thing down the toilet"!

rosiedays Tue 21-May-13 15:08:48

welcome to pregnancy Abi grin it gets worse!!! LOL

embaker112 Tue 21-May-13 15:09:25

I had the embarassment of not being able to pee in the tester pot after two attempts last week! Terrible!

AbiElizabeth Tue 21-May-13 15:12:22

Why do they have to be such tiny stupid pots? I think it's a design flaw.

I was holding a plate for my sandwich earlier and dropped it. I completely forgot I was holding the plate and was confused as to why there was bits of broken plate all over the floor. Pregnancy screws with people!

Futterby Tue 21-May-13 15:14:07

I know the feeling! Total pregnancy brain here too grin

JassyRadlett Tue 21-May-13 15:26:50

Blokes just don't get how difficult a urine sample is if you don't have a penis.

OP, thanks for a giggle and a reminder of pregnancy! Bright side: the MWs will probably remember you. grin

AbiElizabeth Tue 21-May-13 15:36:35

haha I know jassy I'm not sure i'm easy to forget. I am glad it amused you. I aim to please.

TigerSwallowTail Tue 21-May-13 15:42:07

I'm sure midwives give you those daft tiny sample pots to pee in just for their own amusement. I'm 9 months pregnant and mw needed a sample, off I trotted to the toilet and when I sat down I realised I couldn't see past my bump so had to basically try and guess if I was peeing in the right place or not hmm.

AbiElizabeth Tue 21-May-13 15:51:45

it's a conspiracy. We should start a campaign.

I'm also convinced they don't actually need as many samples as they ask for. They just secretly like to collect your pee. You must be a bit mental to be a midwife, you have to deal with pregnant ladies all day, so it wouldn't surprise me...

babyradio Tue 21-May-13 16:00:22

I went for an appointment yesterday and was given one of the little urine sample pots, then she started to explain what I needed to do. It made me laugh that she thought she needed to explain it to me, I'm VERY obviously nine months pregnant and that was about my 50th urine test!

Fortunately at my hospital they give you a disposable plastic cup and then you sort of have to 'decant' it yourself into the pot so at least the targets a bit bigger...

Futterby Tue 21-May-13 16:08:47

I got quite a big pot today, it was like a gift! Am I the only one who pees on the label too? Just can't seem to avoid it!

TigerSwallowTail Tue 21-May-13 16:12:19

I pee on the label every time, glad I'm not the only one.

TinkyPeet Tue 21-May-13 16:15:48

I've resorted to carrying a (clean) plastic cup in my handbag, saves pissy hands and 1ml sample attempts !

AbiElizabeth Tue 21-May-13 16:30:21

I pee all over the label. I feel a bit sorry for the people in the lab who have to handle it haha!

tinkypeet plastic cup sounds like a good idea. Though i'm not sure I would be very good at pouring it in the sample pot haha.
futterby a big pot? well aren't you the luckiest lady in town? haha

BraveLilBear Tue 21-May-13 16:51:02

Oh Abi! If it helps, I had a similar tale of woe at my booking in appt.

TMI follows: I had had emergency surgery the week before on an abscess in, shall we say, a delicate area. The treatment for these things is they surgically remove the nasty bits, then 'pack' it with ribbon gauze, so it heals from the inside out, leaving you with an open wound that gets changed every day for several weeks.

Several nurses tried various dressings to cover said open wound, but due to its location, it needed changing every time I went to the ladies room so they gave me a loose sterile pad to use instead. The ribbon also has a habit of falling out while in a toilet situation - gravity works, and wet gauze is heavier - so by this point (a week post-op) I had come up with a tactic of removing loose pad (proper dressings were not appropriate given the positioning), holding loo roll in place over wound, then replacing loose pad after the fact.

However, the side effect of this is a somewhat randomised stream. Cue me sat on a loo like a contortionist, covering wound with one hand and playing catch the wee with the other (all after managing to spill nearly all of the crystals in test tube to begin with - hadn't realised they were there and was a tad flustered). Needless to say I had an epic fail situation, and only managed to catch about 2ml, despite an ample supply of attempts. blush

The first casualty of pregnancy is dignity grin

AbiElizabeth Tue 21-May-13 16:55:20

haha oh dear brave that sounds quite awkward sad I have come to terms with the fact I have no dignity anymore after throwing up all over OH shoes in asda this morning. Apparently the smell of raw carrots is enough to induce spontaneous vomiting.
There are meant to be crystals in there? I thought that was something to do with my pee. sometimes I wonder how I got into university

Fairydogmother Tue 21-May-13 17:05:34

Lol your midwife won't forget you in a hurry!

Def go buy a cheap plastic pint measuring jug - so much better to catch the pee and decant!

BraveLilBear Tue 21-May-13 17:10:37

Wowsers - throwing up in Asda, over OH shoes as well? You're going to have so many stories to tell your little one once they're old enough grin

AbiElizabeth Tue 21-May-13 17:11:44

i'll put one on my essential items list then!

2Labradors Tue 21-May-13 17:13:22

There's usually only crystals in the green sample bottles that get sent to hospital lab for analysis/growth. Mine needed sending off at booking in appointment but I did it in a plain bottle and midwife just transferred it into a green bottle. All midwife's will do it differently I imagine.

In my area we don't actually have a sample bottle anymore, it's a kit where you pee into a little plastic cup and then syringe it into a tube. The syringe part comes off and then it's all neatly in the tube. I suppose its not great for the environment though as quite a bit of kit goes straight in the bin. It's definitely less messy.

Blankiefan Tue 21-May-13 17:28:48

I bought a pack f plastic cups when I needed to test pee whilst TTC. Much easier than trying to pee into one of those little tubes. Do it at home before you go in; as long as you don't kind a tube of piss sitting in your handbag all day!!!

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