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I am 15 and pregnant really need advice please!!

(36 Posts)
cpz522 Mon 20-May-13 02:47:46

Well I wasn't sure what else todo other than get some advice from other moms or mommy-to-be's I'm only 4 weeks along so not far at all but I'm scared... My boyfriend is being very support and I am a very lucky girl to have him... I don't know what to do, someone please help me.?

justmuddlingalong Mon 20-May-13 02:56:07

Hi there, most people feel a bit scared when they find out they're pregnant. Have you got family around you who can support you, or a teacher maybe?

cpz522 Mon 20-May-13 02:58:54

Yes I have my cousin who was a pregnant teen as well but she lives in a different state than me... I have a teacher but I just feel like I shouldn't talk to a teacher cause I don't want it to get around school... I still haven't told my parents... And I am worried I'm ruining my boyfriend life by having a kid so young... He has a lot going for him and I feel bad he has to take charge in taking care of me and a baby at the age of 16..sad

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 20-May-13 03:03:50

A teacher won't spread it around school.

It sounds like you're definite about wanting to keep the baby, is that right?

cpz522 Mon 20-May-13 03:07:37

I would love to keep the baby. I know I'm young but if I didn't I feel in the future I would regret it... I made the decision to let this happen and I need to be the one to step up to the plate and take care of it now... My mom will probably want me to think of adoption but I don't think I could emotionally handle it. I know I can do what's possible to take care of the baby I just hope my boyfriend is too...

justmuddlingalong Mon 20-May-13 03:10:50

D'you think you could discuss it with your cousin without her telling your parents til you're ready? There will be a teacher whom you can talk to in confidence, it won't become common knowledge. Talking to someone other than your boyfriend will maybe help you with any worries or decisions, as I imagine you are both feeling a bit overwhelmed at the minute. Are you worried that your parents will freak, is that why you haven't told them yet?

sitzonhandz Mon 20-May-13 03:12:28

I think everyone in school is going to work it out fairly quickly, tbh, so you are better off acting like an adult and sitting down with your parents, then school, to work out your plan.

You have to start acting like an adult if you are intending to be a mother, so you need to get on with it. Trying to keep it a secret and hide it from people isn't a great start if you are trying to clark you are mature enough to bring a new human being into the world and raise it.

Time to start growing up.

Alternatively, if you are intending to have an abortion, or need some counselling to help you decide, you should sit down with your family and get that organised in good time. You have a limited window of opportunity to get this done with the minimum amount of fuss, and that way school won't know.

All that said, if you are claiming to be 4 weeks along, there is a fairly good chance you are mistaken and not pg at all. Just late. Or were you having unprotected sex deliberately?

How are you intending to complete your education?

If your boyfriend is standing by you, you will also need to arrange a time to visit his parents and break the news to them.

Traditionally, this is always quite an emotional time. That said, he is as responsible as you, so you are in it together. Are you prepared to do this alone if he crumbles under pressure from his parents and leaves you? Presumably he is planning on finishing school etc, and wasn't intending to father children so early?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 20-May-13 03:13:47

All that said, if you are claiming to be 4 weeks along, there is a fairly good chance you are mistaken and not pg at all. Just late. Or were you having unprotected sex deliberately?

That's a bit harsh, sitzon. I presume the OP has done a pregnancy test - it'll show up as positive at 4 weeks.

cpz522 Mon 20-May-13 03:18:20

Yes I am scared to tell my parents cause I haven't exactly have a good bond with them... I do not want to get an abortion due to my faith and beliefs. I have taken a home test and it said positive but I do have an appt with a doctor tomorrow. I am on the depot shot but my boyfriend hasn't been using condoms so it is a chance I really am. I have talked to my boyfriends mom a little about it but she wants me to go to a doctor to make sure. I would like to do some type of online schooling to finish high school and my boyfriend has two more years of high school so hopefully he will do online as well. I have talked to him about leaving or if he would stay and he said he wouldn't be able to do that knowing we both made this decision. I'm just surprised and scared. But I know in the end I will have support

sitzonhandz Mon 20-May-13 03:19:12

I thought it was worth checking. I know a fair few teens who have been through the whole ' I'm pregnant' routine, but weren't brave enough to actually go and buy a stick to piss on.

turnipsoup Mon 20-May-13 03:19:24

sitzonhandz - I think your whole post was harsh tbh! Geez, what happened to MN being a supportive place??

cpz522 I do think you should talk to someone who can offer you support in RL, what about a school counsellor?

CouthyMow Mon 20-May-13 03:22:25

I was scared too, when I found out I was pregnant when I was 15. In fact my first words were "Oh, shit!"

My partner and I split up when I was about 16 weeks pregnant, the stress was too much for our relationship.

I didn't have any family support, as I was not having a termination or putting the baby up for adoption, I was pretty much left up get on with it.

I found myself a placement at a Mother and Baby unit, where they taught us things like baby first aid, baby massage, stuff about weaning, how to pay our bills and budget, and we had things like a rhyme time and stuff like that, with a shared lounge (as well as the individual ones in our self-contained flats) where we used to all meet up, the shared lounge had loads of baby toys that all the babies could play with.

I fell pregnant at 15, had my daughter at 16. SHE is now 15, and I am 31 for another month.

It is scary, and I feel that from what my American relatives have told me, far more so in America.

I went to college from being 5 months pregnant until I was 7.5 months pregnant - I stopped for a while because my DD was preemie - and went back when she was 6 weeks old.

I would have discussions with your teachers about it - you will need to get your GED, find some way to do that.

You will have to get a thick skin to be able to ignore all the nasty comments, it does seem inevitable that you will get some, I certainly did. THEY are the ones with a problem, not you.

I would suggest talking to a teacher that you trust, one of my teachers (and it was one I least suspected would be so kind to me) was a lifeline during the period before I told my family. And after, tbh.

cpz522 Mon 20-May-13 03:23:01

I feel like my best support system right now is my boyfriends family... I don't have many friends I just don't find anyone at my age trustworthy at all... They're all just rude pretty much. After I go see a doctor tomorrow and I find out for sure. I am going to sit down with my boyfriend and my family am tell them.

sitzonhandz Mon 20-May-13 03:23:10

Well done for talking to your boyfriends mother. Once you have seen the doctor and had the pg confirmed, you will have to tell your parents. I think at 15, depending on which state you are in, they may have to know... This is a British site, and so some of the advice given may not apply in your state.

It's very early days. Some people do keep it very quiet until after 12 weeks because of the high risk of miscarriage, but you will need to be thinking about discussing how this will work with school. They will have seen it before and have standard ways of doing things.

sitzonhandz Mon 20-May-13 03:25:27

More realistic, tbh. I was a pg teen as well. Sometimes you need a bit of reality, and if your first instinct is to hide it from people, then there's the possibility you aren't mature enough to deal with it.

At 4 weeks, she has options - and as long as they have been explored and ruled out, and she has a support network, and plans to cope, then all is well.

cpz522 Mon 20-May-13 03:26:33

Couthymow- thank you!!! That helped a lot!!! I don't care what others think about it I just don't want anyone to know yet in case something happens like I have a miscarriage or something. I want to be 100% sure I am too. Home tests aren't the most reliable.

sitzonhandz Mon 20-May-13 03:26:35

Good luck cpz, hope tomorrow goes well.

cpz522 Mon 20-May-13 03:29:34

Thank you everyone for all the help and support. I am very excited to be having a kid with my boyfriend because I do love him with all I have. It's just a scary thing so early. I don't want my parents to have to support my finically with this. I always imagined me doing it all on my own but I guess everything happens for a reason.

Madamecastafiore Mon 20-May-13 03:30:11

Were you trying to get pregnant though? Says on other thread that you had a miscarriage a little over a month ago? We're you not aware that your contraception was not working?

justmuddlingalong Mon 20-May-13 03:31:02

cpz522, 1st things 1st, go along to your doctor's appointment and find out for sure if you're pregnant. Then both you and your boyfriend will have to sit down with your families, a counsellor or a teacher and take it from there. Your boyfriend may well be supportive, but you will both need more help and advice than you can get from each other. The decisions you make now will impact on the rest of your life, please don't be making those decisions for the wrong reasons.

cpz522 Mon 20-May-13 03:32:09

I am also a cheerleader for my high school. But I am out at the moment due to a hip injury. I had surgery on it in November and its just starting to heal. Could this affect me or the baby?

cpz522 Mon 20-May-13 03:34:30

No I was not trying to get pregnant by any means. I has a miscarriage but didn't know it was a miss carriage until recently I wasn't sure what was going on. I thought I was in my period and just having very bad cramps. They got so bad it hurt to walk. I told my mom but she thought it was just my period so I wasn't worried but then an egg looking thing fell out of me and when I found out I was pregnant now I talked to my cousin about that as well and she told me I had a miscarriage.

cpz522 Mon 20-May-13 03:36:34

I know sometimes your mind can give you symtoms of pregnancy but can it also give you tenderness in your breast and discoloration or is that a key that I am pregnant?

justmuddlingalong Mon 20-May-13 03:37:01

confusedRight, I'm off to bed

Madamecastafiore Mon 20-May-13 03:39:28

An egg looking thing at 4 weeks??????

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