Im having a bad day and its only 8:55, Im getting very anxious about my appt this morn with the midwife. Anxiety levels have tipped into overdrive as I think Im coming down with a cold and it really hits me bad in terms of feeling blue when I get ill. All the lovely music on chill radio this morning is making me cry.
I think IM nervous , as I donnt know wether my gp confrimed that it was ok to be seen by midwife at my surgury. Its all got really stupid . When I booked in with the other hospital I was immediately assigned to a consultant at the hospital and when I saw his registrar he couldnt understand why I was being seen by him, DER read my effing notes : PPH , Ptsd , Pnd , do you need more ?????? I suppose emotional distress is to much for a man is it. Anyway he told me to go back to my surgury for my further check ups bloods etc and my surgury are saying I should be seen at the hospital officialy , as the midwife team based at my surgury is for the more local hospital (the one I had all the problems in with dd),and not if your booked somewere else. So now Im in a black hole and unsure whos doing my care. Im so angry , as this shouldnt be happening to someone with my history. I know I shoud calm down , but Im having meltdown at mo and dd has non stop been crying and winging for not getting her way for days , she has a the cold too and its making her horrid.
Sorry for this , as I know others here have far more serious things going on than my mental state. Im hoping this is just a bad few days brought on by having a cold. Im just getting worried, as its gone on for few days now.
2nd post, sorry dontn normally do this , but Ive got to drive and need to pull myself together.
My worry this morning is that Ill turn up at th surgury and find theres no record of the gp booking me with the midwife and its all going to be awkward and Im not sure what Im going to do. Irrational I here you say, yes Im on the Irrational nutter mum roundabout this morn. Help me get offffffffffffffffffffffffffff.
melsy...hope you're starting to feel a bit better.......
use your pregnant state to your advantage at the surgery and cry until they sort you out. if the midwife is anything like the ones here she'll go on the rampage with GP/Hospital and anyone else in her way until she gets you sorted out.
hhh MissChiedf thankyou for checking up on me ,and thanx ante natal girls also.
My mum got here to look after dd and saw my face at the door and said she'd ferry me around today , I was in no fit state to drive , having worked myself up to shaking. She also took dd to nursury and then gave me lunch at hers , nice mummy, think I needed that today.
How ironic that it should be the midwife that I had problems with 3 yrs ago!!!! I told her so too, I said your part of my PTSD history so Id rather not see you !!!She was totally fine with it and even said may be I should go to ante natal unit at the hospital Im booked in at , so that I can dissasociate from the midwives at my surgury. She also admitted to being quite lost when I was in her care 3yrs ago, she was totally , had only just qaulified and was new to the community. I just didnt need that the state I was in then.
Its taken me all day to calm down , and Im still a bit on edge. Every check was fine , my mum said she could hear baby's heart beat in the surgurys waiting room!!!!! My low bp has shot up to normal today also , possibly due to the high anxiety !!
Ive made my next appt at the hospital with the ante natal team, as I think it may be good to get used to being in there, they also informed me I still have a Consultant check up , which no one had told me about, but Im going to keep it anyway and check before that its not the inept twit that sent me away with no care of my history.
Now I have to get through to Thursday , as have mental health assesmant. Im surprised im not on funny farm already.