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I know this has probably been asked a million times or more but im a first time mum to be and panic about everything

(31 Posts)
Debbsy Mon 22-May-06 13:12:35

Since yesterday i have had the few odd twinges in my tummy then they go again.I have also had backache today which is similar to periody type pains,no bleeding still got sickness so thats got to be a good sign hasnt it.Im 13weeks and 1 day had my scan last monday and they said bibby was fine.Am I just being neurotic???

me23 Mon 22-May-06 13:22:23

hi debsy, im on my 2nd now! about 8 weeks gone, I've had twinges too and the other day I had niggly period type pains.
I think it is commom a lot of women get these symptoms, I'm sure a lot more people will come on to reassure you!
contulations and good luck with your pregnancy

2Happy Mon 22-May-06 13:27:09

Hi Debbsy, I'm also on my second. With my first I had lots of crampy period-like pains, and I've been getting the same so far with number 2. Still feeling sick is a good sign as you say, but if you're worried, call your mw/gp. HTH.

jellyjelly Mon 22-May-06 13:37:02

Sometimes the cramps can be your uterus stretching.Relaxin the hormone that helps the baby move down the birth canal can cause backache.

TLM2 Mon 22-May-06 13:44:16

Hi Debsy

When I was pregnant I had lots of crampy pains - very much like period pains and it is most likely just the uterus stretching like jelly jelly says. Obviously if you get other symptoms then I'd get it checked out but don't worry. If it makes you feel better I was a panicky mum to be - I worried about everything. It's hard not to be but try not to worry too much - and you are not the only one

Debbsy Mon 22-May-06 13:53:26

thank you.
Just spoken to my midwife, I know this is awful but I dont really like her, she always seems in a rush with me (not as ive spoken to her that many times 3 in all) twice was to make first appoint and 16 week appointment.She hasnt helped in any way just said in a matter of fact way like im a pain in the ass!! its common take 2 paracetamol,be careful with your back its probably going to be like that right through.Baby SHOULD be ok as theres no bleeding,I will you at 16weeks goodbye!!Very nonchalent like im high bloody maintenance or something. It has taken us 2 years to conceive bibby with alot of heartbreak in between.All i wanted was for her to alleviate my fears as im so scared of something going wrong,and she couldnt even do that.Very upset wit her now!!!

franke Mon 22-May-06 14:01:11

Are you able to change your midwife? Her attitude doesn't sound very helpful - I'm sure she's seen it all before, but you haven't so a bit of reassurance from her wouldn't go amiss (that's what I feel like telling her anyway!)

Debbsy, I remember getting crampy pains with my second pregnancy at about 11 weeks. As others have said here, it is apparently quite common, although I didn't know it at the time. And if there's no bleeding I really would try not to worry.

Channel your energy into finding a sympthetic midwife. Good luck

TLM2 Mon 22-May-06 14:06:12

Hi Debbsy

When I was pregnant I never went through my midwife but I was lucky enough to go to the hospital where I was having my baby - they had a daycare unit. If I had a problem (eg I fell over when I was quite heavily pregnant or if the baby had been quite for over a day) I went up there and they listened to the heartbeat (not sure what stage they can pick up a heartbeat).

I HATED my midwives - well most of them - and in any case they always told me to go to the hospital because they did not want to have the responsibility. Does your hospital have this facility? If so I'd go there. A bit of a pain to wait but at least you can get your mind put at rest.

Debbsy Mon 22-May-06 14:17:29

Franke and tlm i dont think i can as she is the only one attached to my surgery and when i first saw her she just said i didint need to be seen by the hospital midwives,and would be ok being seen by her |-thats a joke!! as would be classed as low risk.

TLM2 Mon 22-May-06 14:35:16

She sounds like a very dangerous person - arrogant and assumes she knows it all. For a start she should be helping you and putting your fears at bay. Being a first time mum to be is very scary and worrying (You can tell I generally don't like practice midwives)

If you can I would just bypass her anyway. Try ringing up the hospital to see who her boss is and if there is anyone else you could speak to about swapping. It must happen all the time - not everyone gets on with everyone.

I never went through my midwives based at the surgery unless I had my normal appointments - although it sounds slightly different where you are. It will be fine - try not to worry since it's only going to make you more anxious and uptight. The chances are there is nothing wrong. Even so you need to find a midwife you trust.

Jessajam Mon 22-May-06 14:38:58

I found my MW was a bit dismissive of me until I got really pregnant and then she just kept asking me about my working hours and commute...
Use MN instead!! Wish I'd known about it before ds was born....

Debbsy Mon 22-May-06 14:47:27

i will thanks jessie i am so so glad to have mumsnet and the mumsnetters believe me

2Happy Mon 22-May-06 15:03:51

Oh FGS! What is wrong with the world?! You're pg, what on earth is wrong with needing reassurance. Bloddy mw has got me really on your behalf. It's her job to be there for you, to explain your symptoms, and to put your mind at rest. Where is the empathy these days?

MeAndMyBoy Mon 22-May-06 15:08:56

Hi Debbsy I'm so sorry your madwife is being a PITA!!! It is horrible when they are so matter of fact and dismissive - yes they see it every day but this is a Massive thing for us and unique.

I am 16 weeks now and over the weekend was getting cramping and back ache too was quite concerned - while I was at the baby show I heard the heartbeat which was fab .

Maybe you could buy or hire a doppler - there was a chap on ebay that some of the december 05 ladies used Dramaqueen was one that got one I think - doppler Mike I think is what he was called and it was the same device the midwives use and then you can check all and every time you want to to help you relax and feel better?

Take care hun xxxx

Debbsy Mon 22-May-06 15:16:53

thanks Harri may do that but if iget one and cant find it ill panic again.
Cramps have now gone feeling lots of flutterings like butterflies in my tummy going from one side to the other,very strange whats that?
Bakache also going off a bit now.How are you today Harri?
2Happy thank you thats exactly how i feel thank god for you lot xx

Bella23 Mon 22-May-06 15:18:04

Debbsy - poor you, I completely know how you are feeling!

When I was feeling like this my friend helped with some good advice.

Basically there is a lot of change happening at the moment so you will have cramping, weird type pains off and on and your back will go through stages of readjustment so also pains etc.
All these things are signs that things are happening and all is indeed well.
Now you have had your 12 week scan the stats for anything going wrong drop dramatically so keep this in mind.
I myself ordered a doppler for those days when I just felt overwhelmed with feelings of everything being wrong - it helped reassure me.

I am 24 weeks now and still have days when I feel things are "not right" and have weird pains etc but just try and have a listen of the heartbeat and have a little chat to myself that everything is ok and to keep calm.

Try and keep calm and remember that us ladies that take a while to conceive (and you know I am one of them) spend the rest of their pregnancies thinking it all can't possibly now be going so well and that there must be a problem somewhere....ITS NORMAL.

Hope this help. Keep your chin up and ignore the silly old bint of a midwife.

Bella23 Mon 22-May-06 15:19:50

Debbsy - those fluttering feelings are the baby moving!...lucky you!!
I didn't feel anything like that until I was about 16 - 18 weeks............so all those weeks of thinking doom and gloom!

2Happy Mon 22-May-06 15:22:16

Yup - butterfly flutterings, that's just what early movements felt like! How fantastic! (but I'm still peed off that you're having to consider forking out for a doppler just because your mw can't do her job!)

Debbsy Mon 22-May-06 15:24:13

bella you hit the nail on the head there i tell you thats exactly how i feel.
Is it the baby moving really this early hospital werent 100% on dates put me between 13 and 14weeks
Feel much happier now thank you

Jessajam Mon 22-May-06 15:30:19

flutterings like butterflies is exactly how all the books etc describe the first movements.... and some feel them earlier than others....

TheHun Mon 22-May-06 15:34:02

the fact that you still feel sick is good, and no bleeding. I've had niggles and aches with all my pregnancys, I think it is quite normal. Good luck

MeAndMyBoy Mon 22-May-06 16:05:32

Wow Debbsy yet those tickley feelings are the baby - fab . I felt jnr at 13 weeks .

Chin up hun xx

ps you can always sell your doppler on after and get some money back

Debbsy Mon 22-May-06 16:08:32

ahhh so have i really felt bibby?

Cadmum Mon 22-May-06 16:20:00

Hi Debbsy: Sorry that you are having such a worrying time. I hate the endless worries.

I have never felt anything until much later but I am not trying to say that it is impossible. I would just hate for you to have niggles/butterflies today that you think is movement and then nothing tomorrow.

It is normal to worry. If you go back through my post during my pregnancy, you will find that I was 100% CONVINCED that something was wrong with dd2 and that was my 7th pregnancy.

Try not to worry but if the worry is still there then insist on being seen because sometimes that is the first indication that something is wrong. Try not to let the midwife fob you off. (easier said than done, I know.)

Debbsy Mon 22-May-06 16:52:29

Still got these flutters doesnt feel like gas at all like butterflies it cant be can it must still be too early?

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