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worries about partners reaction to 3rd pregnancy

(2 Posts)
Teeny50 Sun 12-May-13 22:10:38

I have 2 children already and have recently started to get rid of everything as we had thought we were done having children. Our youngest is 19 months and eldest is 5.
I have recently found out that I am 6 weeks pregnant and when i told my partner he appeared less than happy and said that although he did not want to tell me what to do about it but that i knew he did not want any more (he has a 17 years old with his ex wife)
I am really upset as he will not talk about it and it is like if we don't mention it it is not happening. I have said that i don't think i could go through with a termination as i have no medical reason to and already have 2 children, his only answer was, "OH!"
I feel completely breathless most of the time with fear and don't know what to do about it, I want to cry and scream but feel like i'm in a different world most of the time.
A few months before this happened we had a scare and i had been devastated as i thought he was going to be angry about it, but he surprised me and said "oh well, we'll manage" and was very caring, now it is really happening it's like he is pretending it isn't.
I asked him to have a vasectomy if he didn't want any more as i don't want to have to go back on the pill due to previous blood pressure issues and weight gain.
What am i meant to do? I feel totally lost and alone.
I know my mum will be angry (even though i am 36) as recently her neighbour asked if i was going to have any more and before i could answer my mum said "No, they can't afford another one!"
I work part time (evenings and weekends, we pay our rent and run two cars and I care for my other 2 with very little support from anyone.
I want to be happy about this but wonder if i would be better off not going through with it to keep the peace sad

beckie90 Sun 12-May-13 23:28:41

Hey, don't go through anything you don't want to hun, honestly cause its you that has to go through it and live with the desicions, if you wanted to thats a dif story, but don't just do it to keep the peace. Im currently 27+1 with ds3, oldest is 5 this yr and youngest is just over 2, my partner did not want another baby made it clear he wanted me to have an abortion but I just knew I couldnt do it so told him I would not and if he didn't want a baby he should have thought about that before he slept with me. I knew my family would be mad too so I didn't tell them till I was 20wks (im 22) but its getting better now he's coming round gradually and has now started taking an intrest, so has my family. Things can be worked around and your baby would be loved once here by your partner. Have a good chat with him explain fully how you feel. But don't do Anything you don't want to do for you. Good luck xxx

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