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How do I discreetly get another consultant next time after horrid experience?

(6 Posts)
TrixieLox Fri 10-May-13 09:25:56

I had a horrid experience yesterday during my 32 week consultancy. At my hospital, you don’t get consistency so you basically get whoever’s available. So far, they've all been great and very nice. But yesterday, I got to see the head of obs and gyno who happens to be the same man who oversaw our first failed NHS IVF round.

He recognised me and didn’t say congrats. Instead, the first thing he said was: 'Well, you've got this far', implying I might lose the baby over the coming weeks or something. Then he went on a massive rant against the private IVF treatment I got in London (which got me pregnant! And also doubled the quality of my eggs and embryos so it wasn't just down to luck). He was just really horrible about it, suggesting they ripped me off and ‘no-one believes the techniques being used in some of the clinics in London’.

He spent most of the consultation going on and on about it, not even mentioning my baby. He also implied he might take me off my Clexane injections early as he doesn't believe the things I've been diagnosed with (clotting issues) are 'real'. WTF? I am pregnant for the first time in 5 years cos of that clinic! It was very clear he's bitter they got me pregnant and not him, and it's like this small town mentality, not trusting the new fangly clinics in London!

Eventually, he checked the baby (spent about a minute doing it out of the 20 min appointment!). She's lying transverse so I might need a c-section if she doesn’t budge, going in again in 4 weeks to check her position. But he barely mentioned this, just ranted and ranted about the clinic.

Anyway, I got home and burst into tears. I absolutely do not want to see him again but I also don’t want to create a fuss as he’s head of the unit and I really really don’t want to cause any ramifications for my care (he seems a bitter type who might make things difficult). When I go in for my 36 week appointment, can you recommend any discreet ways I can ask to see someone else (without implicitly saying ‘I don’t want to see him’?). Am I allowed to request particular consultants (not that I can decipher the handwriting on my green notes to figure out who I saw last!).

Thanks, Tx

Dilidali Fri 10-May-13 09:29:23

Maybe ask for a 'lady doctor'?
I would have snapped, give me a break, chap!

callofthewild Fri 10-May-13 09:36:03

Hi, next time you go for an appointment could you ask the receptionist which consultants are working that day and then ask to see some one of the others?

I suspect that I may have had treatment at the same clinic as you. If so there is a lot of sceptism out there about Mr T's methods but also a lot of support for his work too. At the end of the day the main thing to remember is that you have successfully fallen pregnant and no one can take that away from you. I know it must be difficult at the moment but hopefully you will be able to see someone different next time.

Ezza1 Fri 10-May-13 11:28:10

I would be honest and say to whoever books your appointment that you dont want to see him if at all possible. If he is that bad then the receptionists will be used to hearing it.

Lj8893 Fri 10-May-13 13:10:50

Just be honest and say you don't want to see him and request someone else.

Congratulations smile

3littlewomen Fri 10-May-13 13:25:35

There must something in the water!! My consultant was like an anti-christ on wednesday..... so much so that the midwifes phoned me yesterday asking me to pop into my GP today to make sure all was okay. I have type I diabetes and raised BP with swelling on the last check-up, this was dismissed with a "you'll be grand", though the midwifes were worried.... I also have a transverse lie - the previous baby (am on DC5) was also transverse, but turned before my induction. I am also so fed up with the politics between the consultant and midwives - I should as a patient not even be aware this exists!

I must say usually i am really fond of my consultant, he has a great sense of humor and I do feel safe usually with his care (he has great instinct and saved the life of my last baby).

Trixie, this is such a precious time and pregnancy for you. It is so important you feel safe and respected for the decisions you have made. I would very gently get the receptionist or a midwife onside, explain how upset you were (I guarantee you won't be the first) and see if they can encourage your chart into the hands of another consultant. Enjoy your last few weeks.... I am also 32 weeks, so it won't be long until we can sniff and cuddle our little bundles xx

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