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Freaking out

(8 Posts)
Zoogeek Wed 01-May-13 20:51:37

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Rockchick1984 Thu 02-May-13 09:40:07

I fell pregnant recently with the same age gap, our plan was to start DS at nursery just for either 1 full day or 2 mornings a week towards the end of my pregnancy to give me a chance to bond with the baby, and to give DS a chance to burn off some energy. I'm a SAHM and money is tight but decided it was worth it and DH can get childcare vouchers which would help a bit.

Sadly I miscarried so none of the plans are happening anyway, but it was the best solution we found.

sparkle101 Thu 02-May-13 09:50:58

These are all thoughts that I had when I became pregnant again.

Although this one was very planned and very wanted it was like I hadn't really thought about the logistics. How to cope with two and working etc. I was very upset about the possibility of pnd again which resulted in a years worth of counselling. And my dd has had quite a few health issues and development issues we are working through.

I am now 25 weeks and have made peace with what will be will be. (Another reason I think pregnancy may be so long to allow you to get your head round it).

Dd knows we are expecting a baby brother for he and we've involved her in everything, from shopping to midwife etc. I know the main reason I am having another is for her and I think she'll get a lot out of it.

In regards to pnd, this website has been amazing to show no two pregnancies are the same, but if this is and I do get if again, I know what to look for and I know what to do, I would also hope the coping strategies I worked at in counselling will help.

For the first 8 weeks of my pregnancy I didn't calm down at work, I didn't want to believe I was pregnant and it wasn't till the scan it was real.

Congratulations! You sound like an amazing mum and you will be fine!

CallTheDoula Thu 02-May-13 10:48:28

Hello, thinking ahead to coping with newborn & young child, if you get plans in place you might feel much more relaxed. You could hire a postnatal doula who is there to 'mother the mother' - they come on days and times that suit you and will be an extra pair of hands. Usually they'll just pitch in with whatever needs doing and generally support you and your family in whatever way you need. They're usually good at being flexible about times too, it's quite an informal arrangement. Go to Doula UK's 'find a doula' section & type in your postcode. Prices vary but often around £10 an hr and Doula UK also has a fund for people who can't afford all or some of the cost. You can meet with a few at no cost or obligation & find one that you 'click' with. Also, I would just say that often women are worried about coping with a second because they compare it to their first baby which is usually a much more overwhelming time in the first year - second time around it may not be like that as you'll be an 'old-hand' at it with all the experience of your first baby under your belt.

Zoogeek Thu 02-May-13 13:24:38

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Tinyflutterby Thu 02-May-13 14:49:57

I've just read this thread and feel exactly the same. My ds is 21 months old and I'm 9 weeks pg. Took 2 years to conceive first time round and since I'm 36 we started trying just after he turned 1, never expecting for it to happen a lot sooner this time. We are really happy about it, but I too suffered horrendous anxiety when my ds was born and I'm already feeling that way now wondering how I'll cope with two as I found it so difficult before. I don't really have family close by so am trying to think of other ways of getting some support. My ds is also very clingy and constantly needs my attention and I fear he's not going to take too kindly to having too share me.

eltsihT Thu 02-May-13 16:56:36

I fell pregnant when my ds was 16 months. So will have a 25 month age gap. Baby due in 12 days. Not really sure how I will cope as DH is often away for upto 2 weeks.

I struggled too with a newborn last time round and went back to work at 4 months as i needed some time to myself. But feel a bit more organised this time and have lots of groups I can go to, with several other mums in similar situations, so have much more support this time.

I haven't got work to go back to this time so stressing about that.

My ds has accepted that there are things I can't do ATM and is being very well behaved. We have been talking to him a lot about a baby.

Not sure how things will work out but there are lots of us in the same boat.

Good luck

Zoogeek Fri 03-May-13 07:15:43

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