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Baby #1 - I am new to all of this

(19 Posts)
Fetacat Fri 26-Apr-13 18:32:39


I am 9 weeks pregnant and feeling a bit alone. Has anyone else found this first trimester a bit hard as you can't tell anyone and have to keep on lying to your friends about stuff. I have had to go to birthday parties and meals out and pretend to drink/be drunk! They have all been 30th birthdays so I couldn't shy out.

On top of all the worrying if your symptoms have suddenly disappeared and if you are feeling sick enough (!) and attempting to hide any signs from the prying eyes at work - I am hoping things will get a bit better after 12 weeks and i'm out in the open.

How do other people cope? Anyone else due at the end of November?


HettySunshine Fri 26-Apr-13 18:40:12

I know it's hard but try not to worry. Most pregnancies go swimmingly and end in perfect little boys and girls.

What I did was have a chat with my dp and we decided to tell a few people, the ones we would want around and in the know if anything did go wrong. Would you be able to do that so you have someone in rl to talk to?

Also, head over to the antenatal clubs bit and you will find a group of people who are due in November who will be feeling all the things you are.

Oh and most importantly of all, Congratulations! grin

2Labradors Fri 26-Apr-13 18:41:46

Hi fetacat

I'm sorry that you're feeling lonely. This site has been great for me, to share my news before I can tell everyone in real life.

If you pop over to 'antenatal groups' there's a thread for mum's due in November. It's a lovely thread.

RJM17 Fri 26-Apr-13 18:53:00

Hey I'm ten and a half weeks and we ended up telling all our friends because we just had too many parties etc and people would notice straight away if I wasn't drinking because I normally drink (a lot) haha.
It has made things a lot easier but I understand why people don't because now I feel like I would let everyone down if anything happened.
But this site has been fantastic and really helped with any queries or doubts I've had or even just for a chat or rant when needed.
Hope u feel better about everything soon and congratulations xxx

beth27123 Fri 26-Apr-13 18:59:17

Hey, Im 6/7 weeks with my first, OHs fourth. I'm terrified in all fairness. I think it was all rainbows and fairies and sex till i found out (yes we were trying) but nothing can prepare you for this. I feel rather lonely as although a few people know i feel like a fraud telling them, like he's not really there. Luckily I don't drink anyway so only a few people would find that suspicious, and although OH gave up smoking a month ago his family still do in the house so I think they might get suspicious soon.

Fetacat Fri 26-Apr-13 19:00:20

Thanks for the lovely replies. I am glad I have found this virtual place! I am thinking of maybe telling a couple of close friends in a weeks time. Like RJM17 I also am a big drinker so people are getting quite suspicious of my lack of drinking. Although I did fool a lot of people last weekend with my fake cocktails (very realistic!).

Also I am not sure whether I should join the November or the December antenatal group as I am due 28th November!

Alexandra6 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:20:27

We are due on the same day fetacat smile My first too. I could have written RJM's post, was the same with me. I really like having the support of very close friends and family. Have avoided meeting up with friends who don't know, for now, just as I'm the same with the drinking and they'll work it out in a second so I'd prob end up telling them! Am going to a party this wkend with DH's friends so will be doing a bit of hiding it, but I don't really mind if people work it out I'm dying to tell everyone anyway! I was quite open when we were trying as well, found it helpful to hear people's stories.

Oh and I totally understand the worrying about symptoms etc, have been really anxious - I can't wait for my 12 week scan!

Alexandra6 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:22:29

Oh and I'm on two antenatal threads - BFP wishes came true, and graduated elderberries smile

RJM17 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:26:03

Haha the drinking thing is the biggest give away I think. There is no way I could have hidden it as we normally end up on shots by the end of the night and my friends would tell straight away if I said no to that haha.
Was great to tell people though made it seem more real once we told people x

Fetacat Fri 26-Apr-13 19:41:12

Alexandra that's so cool we have the same due date! i will come and find the antenatal threads!

RJM I know what you mean about it feeling more real once you tell people. It feels really surreal to me at the moment. I don't actually believe there is a baby growing inside me and don't think I will until I see photographic proof!

RJM17 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:44:47

I have been quite lucky and had early scans because I had previous mc (not so lucky) so I have seen my baby twice already. It's amazing when u see them move around.
I am due just before u both on the 18th xx

Alexandra6 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:45:19

I had an early scan feta (am a bit of a worrier) and it was amazing, the baby was there with the heart beating away! You'll love your first scan. And telling people does make it all feel very real. The way I saw it was that I would tell the people I love who are really supportive as I will need their support either way. It's great seeing how happy people are for you smile

Steffanoid Fri 26-Apr-13 19:49:35

We found it difficult too, well I did! I had to tell close family and a couple of colleagues cause of the amount of throwing up I did, your time will fly till you can tell people all about it!

Fetacat Fri 26-Apr-13 20:03:03

Alexandra did you pay to have an early scan? I have been wondering how much that costs... I have my booking in with midwife on Monday but then still will have to wait for a scan date to come through... not sure how long that takes.

meditrina Fri 26-Apr-13 20:09:25

If you want to chat with others due in November, here's the thread where they hang out.

Alexandra6 Fri 26-Apr-13 20:25:07

Yep I paid for it, had it at 8 weeks 3 days - it cost £75 and was worth every penny. Not sure how short notice you can book but you could look into it? I don't suppose you're in London are you? Will send you details of my one if you are.

Fetacat Sat 27-Apr-13 14:32:35

alexandra I'm not in London, I'm in the midlands. I am going to have a look on the internet and see if I can find some prices for places up here. Thanks tho!

RJM17 Sat 27-Apr-13 15:08:59

I had mine on the nhs some places do it if u have had any problems like pains, bleeding anything at all like that. So if u have had any pains contact the early pregnancy unit and they should scan u.
If not I know around here they charge around £50 for early scans x

Alexandra6 Sat 27-Apr-13 15:52:45

I'm sure you'll find one easily on google, there are loads of places that do it. Good luck! smile

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