Advanced search

what do you do when: People want to touch your belly/newborn?

(10 Posts)
syl1985 Fri 26-Apr-13 17:58:20

I hate it when people want to touch my belly. I think it's private. If someone isn't pregnant you wouldn't even think of touching their belly, would you? Then why do people think it's ok when a lady is pregnant?

But these people seem to find it's ok. But how to tell them it's not without offending them? Is there even a way to do it without upsetting these people?

I'm not going to my salsa dance classes anymore. I used to like it. But not anymore.
People come so close. Closer then necessarily during the dance. What happened to:
(a line from dirty dancing) This is my space and that's yours!

I know I shouldn't but especially when a man comes to close or touches my belly I wander if it isn't erotic for him.
I do have a trust issue with men.

I found out that a lot of men do find it erotic to see a pregnant lady even watching someone giving a baby the breast.
I find it so sick that men, other then my partner, would find me erotic just because I'm pregnant. How sick are they?
There's a baby in there. A little child, it's beautiful, but erotic.. Please, just leave me alone.

Where is this belly touching thing coming from?
Everyone knows to be careful with pregnant ladies. Then how can they just intrude our personal space like that and think it's ok to do that?

It's my 4th pregnancy and with the others I also hated it when people tried to touch my newborn baby.
Even people who I never met before in my life. People in shops on the street. They're like: hhooooo soo sweet...
And then, thank goodness not always, comes the hand to touch the baby.

What to say to these people? How to react on it? How on a good way to let them know that I don't like this?

I've always struggled with that. Any tips?


polkadotsrock Fri 26-Apr-13 19:18:56

Gosh there are some big issues in there but I wouldn't go OTT with the whole eroticised side of it- all different people get their erotic kicks in different ways, there are some weird people out there. Although I'm fairly sure that's not what is motivating most people.
On the other hand, your bump is your personal space so just say so, you don't owe anyone the right to touch you if it makes you uncomfortable, no need to even be polite if you don't feel like it.

SevenReasonsToSmile Fri 26-Apr-13 20:49:28

I agree I think you're looking far too much into the erotic side of people touching your bump but I agree it is unnecessary and an invasion of your space. FWIW I found when DD was tiny when I wore her in a wrap so she was less accessible she tended to get prodded far less than when she was in the pram so that might be worth looking into.

Dh2812 Fri 26-Apr-13 23:41:29

I don't really mind people touching the bump as it's usually out of feelings of wonder and amazement at the whole having a baby thing. But if I'm not comfortable with a particular person touching the bump I just say babies asleep so you won't feel anything. Doesn't offend people and has worked so far. Hope that helps.

lexib Sat 27-Apr-13 06:28:59

I'd love to know what to reply too... Am not there yet, but definitely don't want all and sundry patting my belly. As for the baby, am tempted to say social contact like this might be good (as long as no one's sick or grubby fingered). Perhaps just take heaps of water Wipes everywhere to clean cheeks afterwards? Or joke that he's nearly asleep and you've battled for this beautiful moment - doubt they'd touch then.

LikeCandy Sat 27-Apr-13 07:49:54

No one has touched my month old baby except the people I have specifically taken her to visit. Pram with hood / chest facing carrier puts a stop to that. I would HATE for strangers to be touching her.

No one (except one friend and my brother!) touched my belly uninvited. I obviously don't give off 'touch me' vibes. I imagine a lot of it is down to what you wear / how you act.

As for the erotic thing - difficult. It's something I never considered / worried about. Never felt like it was an issue.
However I guess if you ever wear low cut tops / form fitting clothes / wear your hair down or even go out in nice shoes or sandals you could be playing to someone's 'erotic taste', so having a bump is no different in a way!

If its really upsetting you, why not find a professional to talk it through with?

poocatcherchampion Sat 27-Apr-13 07:54:52

I don't mind it.

syl1985 Sat 27-Apr-13 14:38:38

Thanks ladies!

I've had some bad experiences with men in the past. I've had professional help. But sometimes, like being pregnant and you get more attention then normal, it's hard for me to trust men.

I wear nice, but not erotic kind of clothes.
I belong to the normal ok looking mums group.

At the moment I do wear clothes that goes really nice with my belly. Because I'm so happy with being pregnant.

Most of the time I also wear a maternity belt that goes well with the rest of my outfit.

Maybe I should print on it something like:
Watch don't touch
With a smiley or something. To make it very clear that I do not appreciate any touching.

Maybe people get the impression that because I'm happy with my belly it's ok to touch. Most people don't, but some do touch or try to touch my belly.

It's silly that people think it's ok to (try to) touch anyone's pregnant belly.
So when someone is pregnant it's ok to touch them other then their hands. It sure isn't.

If someone isn't pregnant that person could call the police for that. I still don't get it how these people get it in their crazy little heads it's ok to touch a pregnant ladies belly.

plummyjam Sat 27-Apr-13 15:55:41

I used to love people touching my belly smile

plummyjam Sat 27-Apr-13 15:56:23

Sorry that probably doesn't help you but I'm not sure what your question is.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now