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first timer, the fear is setting in... your experiences welcome

(7 Posts)
babyradio Sat 20-Apr-13 20:48:42

I'm 33 weeks and have realised this time in 6 weeks I will have or have had a baby. We discussed my induction at my last consultant appt and she's happy for any time between 38-39 weeks. I'm not too worried about the inducing part, unfortunately it needs to be done whether it truly is more painful or not (I keep being told it is), I won't know the difference.

My boyfriend can't be with me (he lives in another country) but I'll have my mum there.

I would appreciate anyone who doesn't mind sharing their stories with me, positive or otherwise! Don't worry about frightening me. People are often quite keen to remind me how 'unremarkable' it actually is to be pregnant and give birth, and while I kind of see their point... it's MY first time and I don't have a clue what I'm doing.

Thanks smile

amazingmumof6 Sun 21-Apr-13 01:49:12

hi, I was induced with first 2, but had natural starts with 3 others ( had an ELSC with my 4th as he was footling breech) and my experience was that the contractions that are induced by hormone drips are way more intense (translate bloody bastard painful) than naturally starting ones.

to illustrate this the contractions I had with my 3rd at being 6 cms dilated were milder than the ones I had with my 2nd being only 2cms dilated.

I had epidurals with 1st, 2nd and then again 5th and 6th (coz I'm a wuss), but with 3rd there was no time, baby was born within half an hour of my arrival at the hospital. 2 sips of gas & air was all I had and I live to tell the tale! smile

if you only have the gel (pessary) and it works and you dilate to 3cms they can brake the waters to speed things up (as baby's head would put more pressure on cervix causing it to dilate) and you might be ok without an epidural or indeed anything.

(gas and air is fun though, do try it)

I think the best thing is to realize that you really have to have an open mind about what might happen - if you have a birth plan you might get exactly what you dreamt of or it could be the opposite!

It is vitally important that once baby's head is crowning you must focus on your breathing and stop pushing if the midwife says so! you'll just want to push baby out, but if you slow down and do as you are told you'll have a good chance of not needing any stitches and you'll recover much quicker!

after all the various things (episiotomy for forceps delivery, 3 degree tears etc) with my boys I managed to bring my little girl (6th) to the world with no tearing whatsoever! I needed no stitches and was elated! it was fab to not have any pain at all after giving birth and I felt really well straightaway!

good luck!

cuckooplusone Sun 21-Apr-13 05:09:10


I think for me I found it odd that all the classes spent so much time on childbirth and I was most worried about looking after the baby as I didn't have a clue what to do. You will get through it, don't worry. Make sure you ask for help once the baby arrives - I didn't like to bother the midwives and I really struggled for a bit, just was a bit sort of dazed and confused at first!

yogafan Sun 21-Apr-13 07:10:37

Congratulations and good luck, how exciting. I was induced at 11pm the day before DD's due date and she was born at 5am on her due date. I was hoping for a home birth so a hospitalised induction was not what I had wanted, but honestly it was fine. I was SO proud of myself for giving birth and coping with the intensity. It can be the most empowering experience, please don't be scared. I had a couple of pills that get things going, but too slowly, so I was put on the drip. There were also straps to monitor strength of contractions, heart rate etc so I couldn't move as freely as I had imagined, but in the throes of a contraction you can't move much anyway. I ended up kind if sitting so I could lie back a little and rest between contractions. My advice would be is to relax as much as possible, and try to focus on what is manageable about the labour. So at one point, I remember thinking how the contractions were only 3 breaths long, they didn't hurt on inhale (I was sucking on gas and air - great) and so I made a lot if noise and got through the exhales as best I could. Hope that makes sense. I listened to hypnobirthing music which helped keep me calm... I was wrecked afterwards though - having laboured through the night then desperately trying to establish feeding with DD meant I never got a chance to sleep and recover from the labour. I think that's quite common, but if you can, really try to sleep. Babies are also really sleepy after birth so ideally you both snooze at the same time. Good luck, and although it sounds crazy, enjoy it!

crazyhead Sun 21-Apr-13 07:24:05

Congratulations. I was the undesirable end of the 'birthing' experience (emergency section) and to be honest, it was completely fine. So I'd say to try not to put too much expectation onto the experience. Go in armed with a plan A, but be relaxed about landing up with plan B or C. The focus is healthy baby and healthy mum at the end of it.

As others say, it is important to recognise that the first few weeks of your baby arriving are really tough and establishing breast feeding can be more of a challenge than labour for many women. Put as many support mechanisms in place as you can (cleaner, pre frozen dinners, help from loved ones) and steel yourself now to be selfish about the time - space visits to you, don't feel you have to be on 'display' with baby, but do get the support you need and plan a few really gentle things that are nice for you like little walks out with your baby to meet a best friend for a hot chocolate or whatever.

I sound really negative, but I'm not being - I'm pg with number two now! I just think that realistic expectations are one of the most helpful things I was given myself.

babyradio Sun 21-Apr-13 12:10:09

Thanks everyone! I feel better reading your experiences, especially if amazingmumof6 can do it six times, what am I worried about!

One thing they did say about the drip is that it's not necessarily any more painful it just comes on so much quicker and more intense that it seems that way. Doctors are so cagey about just saying "yes it's going to bloody hurt".

yogafan Sun 21-Apr-13 16:15:16

I think the drip gets you to active labour pretty quickly, which can be a bit of a shock. The midwives also want to help you progress so they will turn up the dial (delivering more induction drug) whenever they think you need it/can cope. Which is good in a way as you don't want to be labouring for ages, it is exhausting, but it gets increasingly intense.
I'd recommend putting off your pain relief for as long as possible, as it will make it last longer iyswim. I know it sounds ridiculous but i started with clary sage (inhaling the essential oil on a flannel) and that helped me focus on the breath, then went on to gas and air, would have gone on to epidural but DD came quite quick so I didn't need it on the end. Good luck!

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