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Comments on bump size

(34 Posts)
rrreow Sat 20-Apr-13 20:36:47

Apart from this being a total pet peeve of mine, I've just realised something! I've started noticing that it's those people who've never been pregnant who tend to comment how big my bump is, how much it's grown, and the occasional "OMG YOU'RE HUGE!" (how anyone can think this is something you want to hear is beyond me..). It's those people who have been pregnant themselves who say I've got a cute bump or say I don't look very big for my dates.

I'd love to have a good comeback for the people in the former category though. I love the Mumsnet classic "did you mean to be so rude" but I kind of feel like I could only get away with saying that to people I don't know, if a friend comments I'd feel awful saying something snarky like that!

purrpurr Wed 24-Apr-13 11:49:52

OhGood you have no idea how much better you just made me feel! Thank you. When I was talking to my DH about the Weight Watchers comment last night, he was surprised that not only had it been suggested to me, but it had been put across in a way that said I had put on sooooo much weight I would have to be frogmarched to Weight Watchers. He said, 'But you're all bump, I don't get it, your arms are slim, your legs are slim, you still have ankles, I don't get it.' Buncha flowers for my DH! smile Lovely chap.

Think it's awesome that you can come up with responses btw - I'm always too gobsmacked at the sheer rudeness of people to even remember to close my mouth :D

OhGood Wed 24-Apr-13 11:40:50

purrpurr Sod them all. You are making a PERSON. Am furious on your behalf. But please please don't beat yourself up. And I got carpal tunnel with DD and I was definitely normal weight then, so maybe it's bad luck.

OhGood Wed 24-Apr-13 11:38:23

It's starting to annoy me too actually (love my bump but it's massive) and I am quite relaxed about it normally. Have started to reply with equally personal comments, said in a totally neutral-cheery-perky tone of voice. Last night I said to friend of DH, 'Mine's all baby, yours is all beer!'

Happy to take more suggestions.

purrpurr Tue 23-Apr-13 15:46:02

I think it's really inappropriate - people saying I'm massive annoy me, as I know I've put on more weight than the NHS recommends, and this is the apparent cause of me now suffering with carpal tunnel syndrome, so now I get to be in pain and feel guilty and feel fat. I've always been thin and thought I was fat. To be fat and have people comment on it makes me feel awful.

I did have someone say to me, a couple of months ago, that my bump was small, which actually just made me worry that my baby wasn't developing.

The comments on my bump size and overall size have now increased to the point where my 'D'M is gleeful about me having to go to Weight Watchers. She's struggled with her weight for decades. She's practically laughing in my face.

I've come to the conclusion that people are absolute dicks just when you need them to be sensitive, to think ahead about what they're saying, and the potential impact of it.

Pusspuss1 Tue 23-Apr-13 15:35:33

I agree - the fact that everyone I meet nowadays feels the need to make some sort of comment on my pregnant size is driving me insane! It's so rude. Do they not realise that I already feel fat/bloated and not exactly at my best, without them pointing it out constantly? Insensitive idiots!

rrreow Tue 23-Apr-13 15:00:36

Yes that's exactly it! In theory I'd be fine with it, but in practice I can't help but feel affected when people comment on my size no matter how much I'd prefer not to let it (whether it's about my bump or otherwise). I don't really want people to look at me and the most interesting thing they can think to talk about be my physical appearance, but alas that's the society we live in!

BraveLilBear Tue 23-Apr-13 13:39:40

It's not something you should mind, but when you're brought up in a ridiculous body-obsessed culture, people are naturally sensitive to having their body commented about in such an objective way.

Cheffie100 Mon 22-Apr-13 19:19:10

Hilarious - people really have no idea and are really quite insensitive to how we may be feeling. Your stories have made me feel much better after my 'your bump is abosolutley massive' comment the other day.

babyradio Mon 22-Apr-13 17:41:05

Some women in a shop just told me I am "huge". Thanks, just what every girl wants to hear. They also asked "are you about ready to drop?!" No, just the five weeks remaining, thanks again.

And again "it looks like a girl", IT'S A BOY.

enormouse Mon 22-Apr-13 17:27:53

Don't let the comments bother you. I was made so paranoid by the 'you're so small/neat/etc' comments I ended up convinced I was small for dates. (I wasn't). I was just 5ft 2 and petite built. In the end my bubs came out at 8lb 10.

GreenShadow Mon 22-Apr-13 17:24:27

I genuinely don't get why people don't like people commenting on the size of their bump.

They aren't calling you fat, they are in effect, complimenting you on your pregnancy and how well it is doing. What's not to like?

Wishfulmakeupping Mon 22-Apr-13 17:17:54

Ignore! I was told I was huge and small on the same day sometimes! Don't let it bother you

BraveLilBear Mon 22-Apr-13 17:13:30

Lol - I've just entered public property range at 27 weeks, and agree rrrreow that the comments can be split almost exactly between mums/parents and non-parents.

From parents: 'You're looking great, how are you feeling?' 'ooo are you still in that between tiredness stages, that's the best' and 'you really are glowing' (from a dad).

From nonparents: 'OMG you're soooo much bigger than three days ago', 'wow you're getting bigger and bigger all the time' and 'just look at that bump!' (surprisingly, that one from a dad-to-be, whose GF is four weeks ahead and much bigger)

It's mainly amusing at the moment, but there's a long old way to go yet!

mamabrownbear Mon 22-Apr-13 16:48:20

I wonder if anyone has been told "what an average sized bump up I have, exactly what I'd expect to see at your stage" other than from a midwife. It's funny how you are either neat or enormous, never just right!!

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 22-Apr-13 15:37:35

If I had a pound for every person who said Oh you've got a very neat bump!....I think it's just something you have to nod along with. I even got one Well it's not going to be a small baby, is it? Clearly she knew nothing because DD was 5lb 4oz so yes, actually she is small! Unfortunately people think your body is public property when you're pregnant. I drew the line at people touching my bump but comments just have to be taken with a bit of a hmm and an eye roll!

joanna1990marie Mon 22-Apr-13 15:32:25

I work in a shop so every single customer makes comments about my size, im measuring exactly what I should be and yet from about 28 weeks I've had people say...not long left like; try 3 months!! I even had one fella ask me if I knew the sex, I said yes a girl, he then told me how disgusting I was for not keeping it a surprise...stupid man expecting me to be polite because I was on a till underestimated my hormones and nearly shat himself when I said why the fuck did u ask then! He complained but my boss laughed thank god, and that was me on a good day. Now 35 weeks and having guys with enormous beer bellies tellin me how big I am....erm....have u seen ur silhouette?

fruitypie Sun 21-Apr-13 11:02:11

It's quite the reverse for me...I'm 30+1 and work in a childcare environment where I'm always around other mothers. My bump is very compact and baby is a very good size but actually sick to death of other mothers saying to me on a daily basis "ooooohhh you're tiny, is this going to be the smallest baby ever?" or even worse the other day "is everything ok with the baby? It's just you're so small".

The people I know who haven't had children before have never said anything like this to me!!

How other women who have gone through pregnancy before can say such idiotic things to someone with a 'small bump' is beyond me....surely they must remember that feeling of utter vulnerability during pregnancy and that constant worry that things may not be ok.

I don't think it's something that people who haven't had children do...I just think some people just don't think!!!

Chottie Sun 21-Apr-13 05:34:38

For the all above reasons I never comment on bump sizes, I just give congratulations and ask mum-to-be how she is feeling smile

nomoreminibreaks Sat 20-Apr-13 22:32:06

Mine was a big bump - got all the comments about twins etc. In the end I'd just lie to people about when I was due, or just say I was due in March when it was at the very end of March.

When questioned about the size (with the obligatory wincing look) I think I just said 'oh thanks, that doesn't freak me out at all!'

mamabrownbear Sat 20-Apr-13 22:03:44

I'm 37 weeks and constantly get "you're so neat" "your hardly showing" or "such a small bump". I'm sure folk think it's a compliment but they don't realise at the back of my mind I'm dealing with the fact that bump last measured two weeks smaller than it should or that anaemia can led to smaller babies etc. obviously this is all stuff we try not to worry about so people pointing out how big or small you are isn't very helpful if you have underlying health issues which might affect the suze of your bump which you are trying not to focus on as they usually mean nothing! Im fine with the "you look Healthy" but mention my bump and i'm pissed off. I'm hoping bump is all tucked away under rib cages and things but the next "oh you're so neat" is in danger of a pregnancy rage rant...

midori1999 Sat 20-Apr-13 22:00:38

I agree, they're not saying you are fat/big in any way. It's never bothered me when people comment on my bump, I don't find it rude or insulting. Plus, one person will say it's huge, the next will say it's tiny, they just want to say something.

LittleMilla Sat 20-Apr-13 21:57:25

I just feel shite when pg. Big, uncomfortable and generally bloody unatrractive. So comments on my size smart a bit

Plus, I'm used to having control over my size and whilst I prob could eat less when pg, I just resign myself to being huge. So I suppose my vain side is used to being quite slim so ruddy hate not being that. AND then having ppl remind me pisses me off.

skislope Sat 20-Apr-13 21:51:34

Didn't bother me, it's not as if they're saying 'you're fat!' is it. I had that with both pregnancies..I did have a huge bump but wasn't big elsewhere..didn't bother me and I've had eating disorders in the past too.

SacreBlue Sat 20-Apr-13 21:48:08

Just tell them you're not pregnant and watch their faces crumple into mortification grin or well mine would maybe if they are being thoughtless anyway they wouldn't care!

I was really ill vom city so had no real bump - but was mortified on Dsis behalf when she came with me to my 7mnth prenatal (after having her own DS 7mnths before) and the peeps in class thought she was the one PG!

Some folks are just rude silly. Hope you have a fret free rest of PG smile

ZolaBuddleia Sat 20-Apr-13 21:40:36

But, it's not like they're saying you're fat, is it? Or you look ugly? And at the end of pregnancy bumps are enormous.

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