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really pissed off with midwife

(41 Posts)
ditsydoll Thu 18-Apr-13 09:43:32

Just had a mw appointment and when she did thebabys heart rate she asked if we knew what we where having, I said no as we wanted a surprise and she told me it's a girl's heart rate. Does she not get the word surprise!
How reliable is heart rate for sexing? I'm feeling really miffed at her for even hinting at a certain sex.

378 Sat 20-Apr-13 13:57:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rowboat Fri 19-Apr-13 21:35:20

Its a load of rubbish. First time my midwife did the heart beat it was a "boy" one, the second a "girl" one. It depends whether you are hearing directly from baby (galloping horse) or through the cord (train - the whooshing being blood rushing through the cord). I had a girl by the way.

RosinaCopper Fri 19-Apr-13 16:41:40

Sorry - have only read the OP, but wanted to say that my (very experienced) midwife told me that she thought my twins were b/g and when I said that we'd been told they were identical boys at the scan said 'scans aren't always right, you know!' And guess what - I have identical twin boys.

(so guessing based on a heartrate is sooo accurate, then!)

ginmakesitallok Fri 19-Apr-13 16:26:33

At one antenatal check with dd2 a medical student was there. First he spent ages finding her heartbeat, when he did he said he thought something was wrong, it was the cord he'd found. Then he had a good feel, went a bit white and told mW he wanted a word in private. I was terrified, until I heard the mW say, "no, she definitely DOES have a head..."

MakesCakesWhenStressed Fri 19-Apr-13 16:20:22

it's bollocks old wives tales. like people who guess based on how sick you were or the shape of your bump. ignore

HolidayArmadillo Fri 19-Apr-13 16:16:38

"And I totally agree that the midwife should not have been making guesses about the gender after you'd said that you wanted a surprise, regardless of how reliable or otherwise her method of guessing is."

I actual think this is one of the most precious things I've ever read on Mumsnet.

PurpleStorm Thu 18-Apr-13 23:52:41

The midwife is talking nonsense. It's not possible to tell an unborn baby's gender from their heartrate.

And I totally agree that the midwife should not have been making guesses about the gender after you'd said that you wanted a surprise, regardless of how reliable or otherwise her method of guessing is.

WitchOfEndor Thu 18-Apr-13 19:04:14

We were told that our babies heartbeat was most likely a girl. He wasn't!

SourSweets Thu 18-Apr-13 19:02:31

Total guess, my midwife said she thought I wa having a boy as he was very awkward and kept kicking the Doppler away. Turns out she was right, but she had a 50/50 chance! Sounds like an offhand comment to me, ignore it!

MisForMumNotMaid Thu 18-Apr-13 17:03:15

My DD was meant to be a boy by heart rate and time of conception to ovulation wives tales. After two boys statistically she should have been a boy too.

She's the most girly girl I know, I'm not girly.

It's sad that this midwife caused distress by talking about and old wife's tale like it was fact.

Wishfulmakeupping Thu 18-Apr-13 16:41:36

It's not reliable at all I know at least 2 people who were told the opposite of what they had

isambardo Thu 18-Apr-13 16:40:05

When my midwife said this I wondered if she had some insight into these old wives tales, but I think they just enjoy guessing as much as the rest of us.
In hospital I was told it was a girl's heartbeat but a few hours later it was definitely a boy that arrived smile

ditsydoll Thu 18-Apr-13 16:11:19

If she had said it was just a guess I wouldn't have been upset. I had no idea it was just an old wives tale.
She said "Do you know what your having"?, to which I replied "no we want a surprise" she then Said "it's a girl's heart rate" so I had just assumed there was some way of her actually knowing.
She didn't say it in a kind of oh well you know what they say about higher heart rates light hearted manner she said it quite plainly.

HullMum Thu 18-Apr-13 15:42:51

She's a midwife. She knows that's just an old wives tale and sharing in the guessing and surprise with you. Feel bad for midwifes they can't win.

rrreow Thu 18-Apr-13 15:10:14

Old wives tale. There's a 50% chance she got it right.

HolidayArmadillo Thu 18-Apr-13 15:07:06

I think you're being a bit silly, the midwife has just made a guess based on absolutely nothing definitive, I bet other people have speculated on the sex and you haven't been this annoyed. She's got a 50/50 chance of being right, the same as everyone else.

mum2jakie Thu 18-Apr-13 15:04:57

It's not at all accurate. Midwife hasn't spoilt your surprise at all. There is, after all, a 50/50 chance of her being right!

galwaygirl Thu 18-Apr-13 15:01:19

It's an old wives tale and it's only supposed to be the heartrate during labour that counts anyway.
I have a DD and a DS on the way (willy clearly showing in scans) and pregnancies have been exact same for both including the heartrate which for DD was always 140 and for this baby is still always 140.

MajaBiene Thu 18-Apr-13 14:54:25

Surely part of it being a surprise is people guessing though?

LemonBreeland Thu 18-Apr-13 13:20:14

It isn't reliable as others have said, however I would still be pissed off. You told her you wanted a surprise and she decided to tell you her guess anyway.

ArabellaBeaumaris Thu 18-Apr-13 13:17:58

She hasn't told you anything! The heart rate stuff is rubbish. Both my DDs had "boy" heart rates. Clearly they weren't boys.

YouDontWinFriendsWithSalad Thu 18-Apr-13 13:16:20

It's as reliable as the prediction that heartburn means a hairy baby and craving sweet things means a girl.

ellie I'm glad to hear your DS3's head was there after all.

MrsFoodie Thu 18-Apr-13 13:15:59

Not reliable at all, she is just speculating.. No more reliable that you friends speculating on the shape of you bump, your pregnancy symptoms.. Babies heart rate fluctuate all the time, anyone who has been strapped to those monitors will tell you that. My midwife told me you can't tell the sex through heart rate.. Try and forget it, its not worth getting hung up on and enjoy the anticipation..

elliejjtiny Thu 18-Apr-13 13:05:36

Utter rubbish. A student midwife enthusiastically told me that DS1 must be a girl despite 3 scans saying otherwise. Mind you another one said that she didn't think DS3 had a head. Thankfully I'd had several scans by this point and the "proper" midwife found DS3's head very quickly.

WentOnABearHunt Thu 18-Apr-13 12:59:08

She didnt tell you anything! Unless she has X-ray vision.... dun dun durrrrrr!!! She was not trying to spoil your surprise, everyone guesses on the gender of a baby based on all kinda of stupid stuff.... in my last job a woman who was NEVER wrong guessed a girl..... oh i was so bloody satisfied when she was wrong hahah.

oh, did you know 50% of the women on mumsnet who chose a username with a 'D' at the start have a boy????? Hope i didnt spoil your surpise! :p

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