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really pissed off with midwife

(41 Posts)
ditsydoll Thu 18-Apr-13 09:43:32

Just had a mw appointment and when she did thebabys heart rate she asked if we knew what we where having, I said no as we wanted a surprise and she told me it's a girl's heart rate. Does she not get the word surprise!
How reliable is heart rate for sexing? I'm feeling really miffed at her for even hinting at a certain sex.

harleyd Thu 18-Apr-13 09:47:13

im not convinced its reliable at all. what was the heart rate? in this pregnancy ive had heart rates varying from 130-165

jimblejambles Thu 18-Apr-13 09:51:58

I don't think it's reliable. All through my pregnancy with ds2 his heart rate was in the girl range.
I am pregnant with dc3 at the moment who I am told is a girl and her heart rate is all over the place.

dinkystinky Thu 18-Apr-13 09:53:14

Heart rate to tell the sex is not reliable at all. Just ignore and enjoy your pregnancy.

fanjodisfunction Thu 18-Apr-13 10:07:56

Its not reliable, my mum was told she was having a boy due to heart rate and I was born. And I'm no boy!

She was thoughtless though.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Thu 18-Apr-13 10:11:09

It's not reliable at all don't worry. And don't think it worked if you do have a girl cos there was a 50% rate of being right anyway.

Fwiw my midwife told me that more often than not its boys who r breech. Guess what, I had a dd smile

TroubleAroundTheCorner Thu 18-Apr-13 10:13:03

not reliable smile my ds had a heart rate of a girl apparently!

piratecat Thu 18-Apr-13 10:14:42

so you told her you didn't want to know then she told you that.

wtf is wrong with her ears.

i would be pissed off.

MajaBiene Thu 18-Apr-13 10:21:22

You can't tell what sex it is from the heart rate - she was just making a guess!

littleducks Thu 18-Apr-13 10:22:52

I think most people assume that 'surprise' includes an element if guessing and speculation, her comment is just a guess (based on heart rate) the same as other guess on the way bump looks etc.

Your mw hasn't told you anything it's just a comment. I wish I had realised this when mine said ds would be early (at 35 week appointment as head very down). It made the wait till 41 weeks when he turned up feel much longer!

BeebiesQueen Thu 18-Apr-13 10:26:24

I would take that as just chatting, she wasnt telling you what you were having, just guessing!

they say if the heart beat sounds like a train its a boy. i think she was just trying to be friendly.

i was told my 2nd pg sounded like a train therefore it was a boy, at the scan she was a girl!

weeblueberry Thu 18-Apr-13 10:37:03

Yeah I agree she wasn't giving you a definitive answer - just saying that in the old wives tale of heart rates it sounded more like a girl. Wasn't exactly a clear cut medical response. wink

piratecat Thu 18-Apr-13 10:46:02

yes but she shouldn't have said anything at all if op said,

'no as we wanted a surprise'.

she's planted a seed.

MammaCici Thu 18-Apr-13 10:58:27

You midwife shouldn't be spreading old wives tales. The heart rate has no relation to gender. Have a look at the link above.

My midwife also tells me lots of nonsense, usually relating to gender too. I take what she says with a pinch of salt and double check stuff that could be important. She is nice, I like her but I only really trust her to do the basic stuff. Anything important to look elsewhere for advice.

blankenbaby Thu 18-Apr-13 10:59:12

not reliable. when pregnant with dd2 was told she would be a boy from the heartbeat and this was after we had been told she was a girl at 20week scan.

knittedflower Thu 18-Apr-13 12:55:47

It is a total old wives tale and not at all reliable. I am a midwife and it really annoys me when people randomly say it is a girls/boys heartrate because people think they know more than they actually do. It is total guess work. The evidence suggests that boys have a slightly lower heartrate in the second stage of labour, but even that is something like 60 vs 40%. Make sure she knows your feelings if you see her again so that she is not stressing others out by this misunderstanding.

WentOnABearHunt Thu 18-Apr-13 12:59:08

She didnt tell you anything! Unless she has X-ray vision.... dun dun durrrrrr!!! She was not trying to spoil your surprise, everyone guesses on the gender of a baby based on all kinda of stupid stuff.... in my last job a woman who was NEVER wrong guessed a girl..... oh i was so bloody satisfied when she was wrong hahah.

oh, did you know 50% of the women on mumsnet who chose a username with a 'D' at the start have a boy????? Hope i didnt spoil your surpise! :p

elliejjtiny Thu 18-Apr-13 13:05:36

Utter rubbish. A student midwife enthusiastically told me that DS1 must be a girl despite 3 scans saying otherwise. Mind you another one said that she didn't think DS3 had a head. Thankfully I'd had several scans by this point and the "proper" midwife found DS3's head very quickly.

MrsFoodie Thu 18-Apr-13 13:15:59

Not reliable at all, she is just speculating.. No more reliable that you friends speculating on the shape of you bump, your pregnancy symptoms.. Babies heart rate fluctuate all the time, anyone who has been strapped to those monitors will tell you that. My midwife told me you can't tell the sex through heart rate.. Try and forget it, its not worth getting hung up on and enjoy the anticipation..

YouDontWinFriendsWithSalad Thu 18-Apr-13 13:16:20

It's as reliable as the prediction that heartburn means a hairy baby and craving sweet things means a girl.

ellie I'm glad to hear your DS3's head was there after all.

ArabellaBeaumaris Thu 18-Apr-13 13:17:58

She hasn't told you anything! The heart rate stuff is rubbish. Both my DDs had "boy" heart rates. Clearly they weren't boys.

LemonBreeland Thu 18-Apr-13 13:20:14

It isn't reliable as others have said, however I would still be pissed off. You told her you wanted a surprise and she decided to tell you her guess anyway.

MajaBiene Thu 18-Apr-13 14:54:25

Surely part of it being a surprise is people guessing though?

galwaygirl Thu 18-Apr-13 15:01:19

It's an old wives tale and it's only supposed to be the heartrate during labour that counts anyway.
I have a DD and a DS on the way (willy clearly showing in scans) and pregnancies have been exact same for both including the heartrate which for DD was always 140 and for this baby is still always 140.

mum2jakie Thu 18-Apr-13 15:04:57

It's not at all accurate. Midwife hasn't spoilt your surprise at all. There is, after all, a 50/50 chance of her being right!

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