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Can't stop crying and probably going to Miscarry

(6 Posts)
Drofoxnow Wed 17-Apr-13 16:17:20

I am alone here at home (kids in child care today) and need some company but of course everyone is at work or busy being busy. I don't know how to help myself feel better. I hope I am on the right forum and that someone may have been where I am.

I am 8 weeks pregnant with DC3, DC1 and 2 are under three. Freaking out yes. However, I had a scan at 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat so its more than likely there is no live baby in there as I am a complete train wreak, particularly today, crying over the most stupid things. Not to mention crying because of all the things he has said to me when he's angry.

I'm currently convinced he's going to leave me because I am so emotional and he is more likely to tell me I am mad or crazy when it comes to emotions than give me a hug.

I'm waiting for the required amount of time for another scan to see if there is a baby or not. If there is then I will freak as this house is too small and we're already fighting over space. He's promised to get a bigger house for at least 2 years but can't decide (yet does have the money). I of course have little say in this since I am the SAHM trying to do the best by the kids seems to give me no power in anything else. What wil have I done? Will the kids still have a mum worth having if I am to divide my time around yet another set of demands on me.

If there is a no baby then I'll be happy or sad?? Will my hormones kick in and trick me into thinking that I need another baby.

I know everyone who has three will explain that they would never be without their third child, and naturally that makes total sence.

I am just a mess. Sorry.

RJM17 Wed 17-Apr-13 16:36:11

Not been in ur situation but didn't want to read and run.
I am sorry you are going through this and u must be so confused!!
I hope u get things sorted and everything works out for u. Sending big hugs x

Aoifebelle Wed 17-Apr-13 16:43:57

Oh Dear Drofoxnow, it sounds like you are well and truly in the mire.
Firstly, on the pregnancy. I had a scan at between 5-6 weeks, there was a sac but no embryo. This is really not unusual for early pregnancy - your dates can be out, the embryo can be in a position that make sit hard to see etc. You really have to wait for 7 weeks plus to be sure that the little blighter is in there. Did they take bloods? They did for me and my HcG was rising as normal, so that gave me some reassurance that all will hopefully be fine. The waiting is hard, but really only another scan will give you a definitive answer.
On your emotions - being up the duff, scared about the pregnancy, with two kids under two and what sounds like an unsupportive husband, it is really not that suprising that you are finding things tough. If you can't be a bit of a wreck now, then I don't know when you can.
It sounds like you feel pretty powerless. Does your OH understand how this makes you feel? Maybe you can talk to him about it when you are feeling a bit less emotional. Rational arguments are easily dismissed if you try and have them whilst a teary mess - harder to do that when you are calm and collected.

I hope that helps even a little bit. Pregnancy it tough at the best of times, but you do seem to be dealing with alot else on top.

Goood luck x

Drofoxnow Wed 17-Apr-13 16:57:33

I think he tried to understand but on the emontionless male scale he's up there with the top guns. Better at practical things. Perfect if you break a leg - he will be there to help or be there to sort out more tangible things.

When he is here at night I often think of who I could ring or visit for company. Silly but he's run out of energy after the communte so is more interested in relaxing.

Aoifebelle, are you waiting for your scan too? I was ok until today - just sort of carrying on carrying on. Maybe my hormones are dropping and I'm about to miscarry. Its just all so weird. Maybe my 'problems' with him are just magnified with the emotions I am feeling.

Has anyone had sudden tearfulness during pregnancy?

Aoifebelle Wed 17-Apr-13 17:26:50

Yep scan is on Friday. Funny I have the same symptoms as you - feeling a bit teary and not at my capable best, things getting on top pf me a bit. However, I am thinking that this might be a sign of a healthy pregnancy and the bean is just draining all my energy. I had a miscarriage last year and I certainly feel more wiped out this time round.
If your hubbie responds to practical stuff, then the house stuff might be easier to get him moving on - just lay out the case why moving now is necessary and from a practical POV you might be best placed to get things moving.

RJM17 Wed 17-Apr-13 17:58:13

I also should have said I had a scan at 5 weeks and there was nothing but a sac then at 6 weeks there was a yolk but nothing else!! Finally went back this week 9 1/2 weeks and there is a little baby bouncing around and looks like she/he is playing the drums on my uterus lol.
So I wouldn't worry too much about there being no heartbeat that early on. It could be that ur dates are slightly out. I hope u get the results u both want at ur next scans x

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