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(Grand)parents meeting the (grand)parents

(12 Posts)
BraveLilBear Tue 16-Apr-13 14:43:58

Random question this.... Have your parents met your DH/OH's parents? How important is this?

Ours have never met. We've been together nearly 3 years but my folks live 150 miles away and don't come up very often (I/we end up doing most of the travelling), so when they do come up the time is spent with me before they rush off south again. We're obviously not married yet, as they'd have met then!

I think it's important that they meet each other before junior arrives (I'm 26 weeks with my/our first, tho OH has a son from previous). OH thinks this is completely unnecessary and that his parents won't care. I'm pretty sure though that my parents would like to meet his (though nowt said directly), and I have to agree that I would be more comfortable if they did all meet up in a pub one afternoon when everyone is around.

So. Is it important? What would you do?

cuckooplusone Tue 16-Apr-13 14:56:03

Could you invite them over at the same time? They'll probably meet when the baby comes, try not to over think it?

Runswithsquirrels Tue 16-Apr-13 18:28:05

We just orchestrated this after seven and a half years together! We wanted them to meet before mutual grandchild came along. We arranged it so it was as easy as possible (given the distance) and it went well. I think it's a nice thing to do to bring the family together - after all they are going to have a grandchild in common!

80QuidYoniJob Tue 16-Apr-13 18:39:42

Mine and DPs parents didn't meet until Our DC1s first birthday.

Guntie Tue 16-Apr-13 19:57:04

Wow. I am amazed that your parents haven't insisted on meeting him! How did you manage that?! My Mum still brings up that she had to wait something like 4 months till she met my DH (then BF).

I wouldn't over think it either. Low key meeting before baby would be a great idea.

Congratulations on your pregnancy thanks

craftycottontail Tue 16-Apr-13 21:31:51

I think it depends if the grandparents are going to have any interaction after this meeting - if not, i wouldn't bother.

Mine and DH's parents met on our wedding day and never again since! (5 years later)

elliejjtiny Wed 17-Apr-13 09:40:07

My parents and DH's parents have met fairly briefly a few times in the 11 years we've been together. We have a photo of the 4 of them, DH and I and our 3 DS's on DS3's 1st birthday as my parents were at ours for the day and DH's parents dropped in to give him his present. The most time they have spent together is just before and during our wedding, we and they don't feel the need for them to spend time with the grandchildren together.

reelingintheyears Wed 17-Apr-13 09:44:19

Not once in 27 years.

I wouldn't have put my Mum through the trauma.

That said,we haven't clapped eyes on DPs parents since 2001 either.

bunchofposy Wed 17-Apr-13 10:06:08

Mine met shortly after DH and I got together, we went to a pub for lunch and it was excruciating. It was all nice and polite but there was a clear personality clash. I have avoided them meeting up since. They sporadically send 'their best wishes' through me (despite clearly not having liked each other) and it makes me cringe every time.

I am sure it's not always that bad though! They might get on like a house on fire. And if you're having a baby it is obviously a nice thing to do. What about a baby-naming ceremony or christening after the birth, so there are other people there too?

Kelly1814 Wed 17-Apr-13 10:53:55

I am married and my inlawa have never met, can't see when they would either. We got married just the two of us, live abroad, they live about 400 miles apart in the uk. They may never meet, and we are absolutely fine with that.

BraveLilBear Wed 17-Apr-13 11:02:47

Thanks all - my parents have met DP plenty of times, just not his folks!

I think they'd get on okay, but they are very very different. I get on very well with DP's folks, and he tolerates mine.

I might see if I can get a couple of them introduced (my parents are divorced, but civil, although they'd never usually come up at the same time) in a low-key setting but won't force it.

The challenge with a post-baby gathering is that I have a large (and close) extended family who would all want to come, and it might all get a bit overwhelming!

BabyHMummy Wed 17-Apr-13 20:06:08

My mum has met gp's parents but not my dad mainly as an occasion has never presented itself. It will happen eventually i am sure..christening maybe as no intention getting married again!!

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