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What would you do??

(16 Posts)
fruitypie Tue 16-Apr-13 10:37:03

Just a silly question, and I'm probably just overthinking things but me and my my husband have been invited to his friends wedding later on this year.

I'm pg with my first and the baby will only be about 2 months old at the time. I'm planning on breastfeeding and it seems taking the little one isn't going to be an option also it is an hours drive away from our home sad
As it is his friends wedding I've told dh that either I won't go or I shall only attend the evening reception. He seems to think I'm being unreasonable and we should leave the baby with someone whilst we go for the whole day and night. I'm under the impression that to leave a 2 month old baby with someone (we have loads of lovely people that would take care of our baby) is a bit of an ask and will be something I'll agree to but regret it at the time.

It would be nice to have someone elses opinion!!!

Bejeena Tue 16-Apr-13 10:41:06

We have been invited to a wedding 2.5 weeks after my due date but I think even if it was 2.5 months I would be doing the same.

We haven't decided whether to go to whole day and afternoon/evening reception yet but if we do I will be taking the baby and not leaving him with anyone.

I don't think you are being unreasonable there is no way I am leaving my baby at 2 months for a whole day and evening.

Why isn't it an option to take the little one? An hours drive isn't that much you can allow a bit of time to break it up if needbe.

Christelle2207 Tue 16-Apr-13 10:49:11

hi
no advice but we have a similar dilemma. Baby due in August and wedding in October. Luckily it's not too far away so I think general plan may be to leave him at home with one set of grandparents and if any worries one/both of us can dash back. Children not invited (we made exceptions for very small ones at our own wedding because I know difficult to leave them) and I have no idea if it really is doable for both practical and worry reasons to leave a two month old with a (trusted) relative.

Rockchick1984 Tue 16-Apr-13 10:52:46

If you can take the baby along you will probably be fine, however I wouldn't have been able to leave DS for a full day and night at that age despite mix feeding - certainly no chance if EBF.

Offcolour Tue 16-Apr-13 11:00:12

My 17 week ds is ebf and there is no way on earth I would leave him for a whole day and night (tbh I wouldn't leave him that long if he was ff). I don't like keaving my babies when they're tiny though, everyone is different and you might be fine in principle, however (in my opinion), you can't really leave an ebf 2 month old that long.

sheeplikessleep Tue 16-Apr-13 11:04:38

I BF both my DSs and at 2 months old, there was no way I could have left them for a day and evening. I had only just started to introduce a bottle for DS1 at that stage, DS2 refused a bottle completely.

The only way it could have worked, is if I'd taken DS and also my mum and ask her to watch him in a hotel room and I kept popping back up to feed. But in all honesty, that would have been quite a hassle / expense (for us and my mum) and not something I would have done.

If I were you, I'd say that you're unlikely to be able to go, if everything goes to plan with breastfeeding, but you'll see how it goes, as you would love to go if you could.

You cannot tell whether your DC will take a bottle or not, whether you'll be bf'ing, whether he/she will have colic / reflux or not or be a totally calm baby.

atrcts Tue 16-Apr-13 11:12:37

I wouldn't leave such a young baby for such a long time, especially if breastfeeding. It might be that your partner can't see that until the baby actually arrives and then maybe he'll "get it".

It's not clear why you can't take the baby though? I'd bring the pram and a sling and just nip out of the ceremony/wedding breakfast for a bit if baby kicks off, they soon settle again wink even if not for very long.

Of course if you're both totally on your knees after wakeful nights then you might not feel much like the effort, can you stay over at the wedding venue so you can nip upstairs for a kip part way through the day if required?

Fairy130389 Tue 16-Apr-13 11:17:16

I am in a similiar situation. My cousin is getting married in aug and I'm due mid June so will have roughly 2 month baby...

Wedding is approx 3 hrs away. Luckily the wedding is at the house, in the garden and we will be staying there too, so I will be able to nip inside for some peace if needs be. We have kept time there to a minimum - going up in the morning of the wedding, home the next morning, and I am taking the baby.

I am anxious about it though, but agree that I wouldn't leave him at that age.

PointlessCow Tue 16-Apr-13 11:18:04

I agree with sheep. I BF both my DC and there would have been no way I would be able to leave either of them at that age.

DC1 had colic, so I wouldn't've wanted to inflict that on any babysitter. I would not have been able to express enough for a couple of feeds, never mind enough for 24 hours.

And, DC2, although much calmer, was also EBF. And again, I would not have been able to express enough even had I wanted to leave her.

If the baby has not been invited, then I would assume you won't be able to go.

MumOfTheMoos Tue 16-Apr-13 11:26:32

I wouldn't have left my DS at that time - surely they're happy for you to bring babes in arms (we did for our wedding although we had to keep older children restricted or it would have been 50% kids!) as they don't have any impact on catering or table plans?

It's perfectly possible to have a baby in a pram at an evening do - we took our DS at 7 months old to my mum's 70th dinner dance thingy and he just slept through the whole thing.

BabyHMummy Tue 16-Apr-13 12:23:59

I am due mid August and have 2 weddings to go to in October. By bf is local so not a prob but my dsis is getting married 2 hours away. There is no way i will be leaving the baby with anyone and no way that i want to miss either weddings she has her own pretty outfits and will be coming to both.

Have the ppl banned children cpmpletely? If not take baby regardless and if they have get dh to have a word and ask of thyccan make an exception considering how young baby will be.

rrreow Tue 16-Apr-13 13:58:08

Why is taking the baby not an option? Is it something the couple have stipulated? A baby under 3 months spends most of their time asleep or feeding. It's actually probably the easiest age to take them to a wedding. Noisy hubbub puts them to sleep at that age.

I would have found it very hard to leave my DS for a whole day & night at that age. And by that I mean emotionally. If you're going to ebf it will also physically be difficult as you'll probably need to pump every 2 hours.

NoTeaForMe Tue 16-Apr-13 14:11:49

I took my 2.5 month old to a wedding, there is absolutely no way I would have left her. I just wouldn't have gone to the wedding-simple as that!

Why can't you take the baby? Have the bride and groom said no? Normally even child-free weddings are ok with 'babes-in-arms'

worsestershiresauce Tue 16-Apr-13 14:32:08

I agree with others who say they wouldn't go unless the baby could go too. Expressing enough milk in advance for 24 hours on top of your usual feeding schedule would be virtually impossible. It takes ages to express even a small amount, and your baby will be feeding very frequently at that age as well. You'd feel like a dairy cow!

LemonPeculiarJones Tue 16-Apr-13 15:02:26

You really won't want to leave your baby nor should you be pressurised to.

Your DH is being a bit crap. His newborn baby comes first before his mates.

Either take your baby along or do not go. Be firm - DH will have to begin to understand his new priorities so it may as well be now.

crazyhead Tue 16-Apr-13 16:30:15

LemonPeculiarJones is quite right. Most Mums would be at the 'I'll leave baby with Dad for an hour to get my hair cut/have a drink at the pub round the corner' stage at the very most by two months and if you are solely breastfeeding it'll be impossible. Even if you are expressing, the stress of organising a day's worth and leaving your baby would be enormously stressful all round.

To be fair I suspect your DH have no real understanding yet, show him this thread....

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