Feeling really anxious and weepy

[Queazy]

Hi all

I'd welcome a bit of advice. My hormones are going crazy - it's like the worst PMT ever I've been arguing with DH, being stroppy at work and crying every day at home. My boss is devoid of empathy and sadly it's impossible to avoid her. I'm only 21 weeks pregnant - how am I going to keep this in check for the next 15 weeks I have at work?! I just want to tell them to stuff it (which clearly I can't).

So sorry for a whingey email. I can't believe I feel like this after having a healthy 20 week scan last week. I feel so ungrateful but just can't control the inner rage

Xx

[honey86]

hunni, don't worry, your going through some major changes and your hormones are going crazy... it makes us yes me too less tolerable to stress. hang in there xxx

[babyradio]

Talk to your midwife, there might be something she can do to help. There's a difference between pre-natal depression and 'pregnancy lows' and it might be worth checking it out if the crying and mood swings are uncontrollable.

I had to tell my parents to stop asking me to plan so much of my week in advance because it was just too stressful to think about that many things at once. I know that sounds ridiculous but they expected me to carry on completely as normal and things are not normal!

Btw your employer has a legal obligation to make sure your working environment is suitable - is there anything in particular making you feel stroppy at work?

[Queazy]

Thanks so much for your replies. I'm working 55 hours per week and just can't bear working for my boss. She's really hard work. I feel completely unappreciated and if I wasn't 5 months pregnant I'd look for another job. I feel really trapped I can't rationalise it all tho - not sure if hormones are making it all so much worse or if I've just finally had enough . Thanks again - I really appreciate your time in coming back to me

[Saundy]

What a nightmare. You could look at it as your last 15 weeks there & use your time on maternity leave as an opportunity to find another job? If the end is in sight & you aren't putting pressure on yourself to go back that could help relieve the pressure.

It's hard but you aren't trapped there forever & if your attitude changes to fck them I'm leaving anyway that can really help tick off the days & lift your mood.

Have you got any holidays you can use to take you up to maternity leave & cut the time down a bit more?!

The hormones won't be helping but just think of how fast the first trimester went.

[Queazy]

That's so true - thanks Saundy I just need to start crossing off the days I think. The 15 weeks is before I go on 3 weeks leave who're mat leave kicks in, so no more left sadly. I'm really worried about finding another job, especially part-time, but you're absolutely right that I need to start thinking that this isn't forever.

Thanks again - I really appreciate it
xx

[Saundy]

That's ok, it's not easy to find another job but you'll have months & generally it's at least 2 weeks advertised, 2 weeks for interviews & decision, then a months notice so you can look from 2 months before you'd be ready to start maybe more. Time is on your side!

If you let people know you're on the lookout something will come up! Good luck with it all I'm sure you'll be fine

[BabyHMummy]

I.have been signed off work due to similar issues with a dick for a boss! The stress was making me a nightmare to live with as i was constantly crying over ridiculous things eg i am dairy allergic and the supermarket we sis a particular weeks shopping at didn't stock the dairy free spread i have and i had a complete melt down over it...i still cannot deal with any stress or pressure being put on me without crying like a complete idiot so i get completely how awful ur feeling.

Speak to ur Gp. Maybe a couple of weeks signed off my be of benefit. I am lucky that dp has worked out that i can be a sahm for a couple years but will be looking for a pt job whole i am on maternity if i can find affordable childcare

[BabyHMummy]

Also ur job has to do a risk assessment. Has this been done? 55 hour weeks are excessive for anyone let alone a pg woman

[LemonPeculiarJones]

Hey Queazy

I got a new job after my maternity leave with DS1 - it is entirely possible! A much better job with a really understanding boss, too.

Am currently 20 weeks pg with DS2 and, although I am knackered and emotional, it's so much easier this time round due to the greater understanding of my workplace.

Hang in there and look forward to looking for a new job in x number of months time

One thing to check, though, is your current workplaces policy on paying maternity pay to an employee who does not, later, return - some places require all monies to be repaid if you don't return there for at least six months, for instance. Worth knowing.