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worried about feeding

(20 Posts)
parisfernandez Sun 14-Apr-13 13:21:15

Having read other posts, I have noticed that mumsnet is very pro-breast feeding so im a bit nervous about posting this.

With last DC I tried breastfeeding for about 3 weeks and I just wasn't producing enough milk to keep her satisfied. I felt like a milk machine and i was shattered all the time. I switched to bottles and it made a massive difference to our lives, DD was happier, slept better and I was a lot less stressed. I got a lot of comments made to me about bottle feeding and how awful I was for putting formula into my baby because it's poisonous, bad for them and lazy. I was a new, young mum and im certain it was one of the issues that brought on my pnd. I didn't attend baby groups because I was a lot younger than the other mums and i was the only one bottle feeding and felt awful comparing myself to them.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my second and im happy but so worried about how I will cope when I bottle feed for a second time. I know growing a thicker skin can help but I am sensitive and i take things too personally and get myself upset a lot.

Any advice on how to deal with such comments and judgements that will be made would be great. I know for a fact that I won't manage to bottle feed without being made to feel like a failure but advice on how to deal with it would be appreciated.

Thanks

Wishiwasanheiress Sun 14-Apr-13 13:32:27

Really? I'm frankly astounded. Most people I see in high street/cafes/baby groups bottle feed. For example in 20 mums just two of us for various reasons managed to bf to 6 mths or plus. Most had ceased bf by 4mths. Out of that the majority didn't make a month.

I'm sorry u had bad feelings shown to u. If it helps my view and many people I think is, at the end of the day, ur baby being fed and happy and healthy is paramount.

The 'how' u achieve that is entirely family specific. Bf would be great, but bottles a fab alternative. Horses for courses!

I'm for well fed happy healthy babies. Up to u how that's achieved. (Does that help?) smile

GiveMeVegemite Sun 14-Apr-13 14:51:40

Don't feel guilty!
I had an emergency c section and my baby would not breast feed so after 24 hours of basically getting no nutrition the midwives said they could put him on a drip or I could offer formula. It was a no brainer.

I told the other mothers in my antenatal group and a few others admitted to hating breast feeding, but felt like they should even though it wasn't working for them or their babies. Many of them stopped soon after.

It really pisses me off when the breast feeding brigade get in their high horse and out down people who forumla feed. Especially, if like me, they would have preferred to breast feed, but nature hadn't intended it to work that way!

I am pregnant with my second now and know I have to have another c section. I will try and breast feed again, but if it doesn't work out I don't care! I'm happy to formula feed again.

mylittlepuds Sun 14-Apr-13 16:27:00

Age old bf v ff debate! My two pence worth...as long as you try it/ intend to try it (there might be a medical reason you can't) then however you end up staying sane is the 'right' thing. I mean properly try though, knowing BFing has proven benefits for babies.

You sound like you clearly tried.

I'm sure I'll get flamed for this (my friend 'just doesn't fancy' doing it and there are lierally hundreds of thousands of women the same) but I really think it's the intention that's important and only you know how strong your intention was.

I BFed DS and currently BFing DD. Both had dangerously low blood sugars in hospital (I'm diabetic) and needed formula top ups by syringe - so I do know that there are most certainly mitigating factors at play. I believe mental health of the mum can be one of those.

UniqueAndAmazing Sun 14-Apr-13 16:29:52

don't feeel guilty.
you are doing what youbelieve as best for yoyrself and your baby.

fwiw, I feel like the odd one out here for bfing - almost everyone I know did bottles. almost every single member of my and dh's families who have had babies in the last 10 years have bottle fed.

BitBewildered Sun 14-Apr-13 16:36:25

Please try not to worry about it. Try again, because you sound like you want to. Get support if you need it. Don't let milk stop you enjoying your new baby's first few months. thanks

MrsLyman Sun 14-Apr-13 16:36:33

FFS the majority of women bottlefeed I just don't believe people would ever actually tell someone totheirface that they were poisoning their baby. I only ever here such things on forums normally just used to slag off people who do breastfeed, no one in real life will give a shit how you feed your baby hmm

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Sun 14-Apr-13 16:41:56

Please please please don't even give it a second thought. It's formula not heroin and a perfectly adequate way to feed your child. Do what u want to do!!! It's no one else's business and baby is getting fed.

I never have and never will regret formula feeding with my two. They are little for such a short time, that to spend it stressing over milk is IMO such a waste!! You won't ever get that time back, ever.

Have your baby, give them a bottle and enjoy a squishy newborn !!!smile

mylittlepuds Sun 14-Apr-13 17:29:07

Oh God I hope this isn't going to spark a bun fight but just out of sheer interest caffeine (and tell me to f off if you wish) did you just not want to try it?

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Sun 14-Apr-13 17:35:36

Did with dd1 spent there miserable weeks holed up in the house glued to sofa and a further three months stuck in rooms on my own expressing. Things were do much easier and better when I admitted it wasn't working , stopped beating myself up about it and gave a bottle. Didn't even bother with dd2 she was sleepy and had no sick reflex and after a horrendous pregnancy I didn't wanna be taken away from dd1 any longer. smile

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Sun 14-Apr-13 17:35:50

Sick? Suck

mylittlepuds Sun 14-Apr-13 17:39:28

Fair enough!

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Sun 14-Apr-13 17:47:26

Plus my dp worked late a lot meaning that as she was never happy unless feeding from me I basically barely ate and when I did it was something quick and cold that I was eating over her. Not really conducive to producing good quality milk. I didn't have a hot meal the whole time I was feeding her.

mylittlepuds Sun 14-Apr-13 18:21:42

You see I had horrendous anxiety after the birth of DS and luckily for me although very, very gruelling in terms of sleep deprivation etc BFing 'worked' and it was the only something positive I clung onto for dear life - so I suppose I can see why people become BFing zealots. It can be down to insecurity, like it was with me. BUT I do really believe people if medically possible people should intend to give it a go if they are aware it's better for the baby in terms of health benefits. Of course it's really none of my business how others feed their babies but the 'I merely can't be bothered' attitude is one I find shocking. It's probably quite rare though I'd think? Hope?

mylittlepuds Sun 14-Apr-13 18:23:15

Sorry for weird sentences. I gave birth five days ago and that's what I intend to use as my excuse grin

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Sun 14-Apr-13 18:31:10

I don't think it's ever a case of 'cant be bothered' after all washing sterilising bottles, measuring scoops, waiting for water to cool down etc isn't exactly effortless.

Some people find it easy others don't. I can remember the pain and the blood to this day and I cannot bare anyone touching my breasts now. It's not always so simple for people and the idea that there are women such as the op that haven't even had the baby yet and are worrying about what complete strangers r going to think of her is , to me, heart breaking

All we can ever do is what we think is best for our baby and trust that others will do the same. Whatever that may be.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Sun 14-Apr-13 18:31:38

Congrats grin

mylittlepuds Sun 14-Apr-13 18:54:23

Agreed. Bloody hell that's a first for a BFing vs ff thread!

mylittlepuds Sun 14-Apr-13 18:54:49

Thank you - she's gorge!!!!!!!!

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Sun 14-Apr-13 18:57:07

thanks and a non alcoholic wine smile

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