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Really down, crying a lot!

5 replies

Lj8893 · 12/04/2013 23:08

I'm nearly 12 weeks pregnant and know my hormones are going to be all over the place and that some crying is to be expected, like my crazy hormonal crying at tv shows etc!

But I'm beginning to feel really down, DP works in a different town about a half hr drive away and he doesn't drive but he gets a lift home every night (although he rarely finishes before 10 and home by 10.30/11pm.

Aside from my work colleagues I have no contacts in the town we live in and am so lonely. To make it worse due to busy work shifts dp is seeming to stay at his mums (close to work) at least 2 nights a week!

He is very supportive in every other way (coming to scans etc) but I'm beginning to feel like I'm single again! I almost feel that it would be easier being on my own because then at least I would have a reason to feel lonely, and not be disappointed every time I am spending a night alone.

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YummyMummy17 · 12/04/2013 23:15

Hi there, first of all I'd like to say congratulations!

I hope your ok, I think the best thing to do is speak to your partner about how your feeling, explain why your feeling this and together find a resolution to this problem, you are his number one priority before work, a problem shared is a problem halfed, I'm nearly 11weeks gone and I found myself holding in my emotions for a while, trust me it is the worst thing you could do, I felt I would put a burden on my partner and friends over exaggerating and complaining but it actually helps, also get yourself in to some mum groups etc, all very helpful and lots of women feel this way!

Hope your ok and can resolve it asap, no one likes to be alone.

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Lj8893 · 12/04/2013 23:39

He doesn't deal with emotions very well and won't understand why I'm so upset, he will just write me off as being silly and over emotional.
It doesn't help that I hate sleeping in the house on my own, something I have hated for years even when I was single.

He rang me a few hours ago to say he wouldn't be home tonight and was very apologetic but as he always stays over on Saturdays too I won't see him now till Sunday evening.
I've cried all evening since he rang me, I have text him telling him how it's really making me upset and getting me down and how long is this going to happen for but haven't had a response as yet, although he has read the message, but he's busy at work.

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable and really silly to be so upset over this?

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backpackingnewbie · 13/04/2013 03:18

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. It's an emotionally confusing time and you need all the support you can get. He's going to have to learn to deal with emotions. You've still got a while to go and then you're going to have a baby to look after, too. Have you thought about changing your living arrangements so you don't feel so isolated? Do you get on with his mother? What about explaining to her how you feel?

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mrspatpat · 13/04/2013 09:55

I was kinda the same at the beginning of my pregnancy. I worked on the other side of the country to hubby and we only got to see each other on days off if we were lucky enough to have the same days off. We both worked shift work. I managed to get a transfer at 23weeks.
I was exhausted from work and nauseous all the time and hormonal too. I was so lonely. Hubby was worried cause I cried so much. My hubby was fairly supportive and he just listens when I have a meltdown. That helped!! even if it was only over the phone.
I knew that we would sort it out though and that it wouldn't need to be like that all the time. You really need to sit your partner down and figure something out and make plans for the future......He also needs to know how much support you will need. I have gone through phases of being hormonal and stressed/depressed and just needed hubby around more. I think the loneliness makes it harder too, that has been one of my biggest issues too and I'm still struggling with it. how you are feeling sounds completely normal in the circumstances. Are you going to be staying in the town that you live in now?? it could be worth seeing what groups are there and trying to organise things that get you out a bit. I hope it all works out for you xx

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Lj8893 · 13/04/2013 11:43

I completely broke down on the phone last night to my partner and told him how I'm feeling, to be honest I don't think he really knew what to say and I don't blame him, I wouldn't know what to say either!
We are planning to move back to my home town when I start maternity leave, which will be a lot closer to my mum and I will have friends and family within walking distance! Hopefully my partner will be getting a transfer to nearer the town then as well. I'm just a bit fed up and feel he was being really selfish taking that job when he had a job just down the road, yes he was unhappy in that job but I think he could have waited to find a job closer before just jumping into this current one!!