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Coping with 2 yo, 30 weeks pregnant with twins

(14 Posts)
Blending Wed 10-Apr-13 15:46:25

I am finding it difficult to manage my toddler as I am a lot less mobile than I would like (Can just about waddle about, can't get on the floor with her etc) and all I want to do is sleep. She doesnt nap anymore which means by 4 o'clock she is cranky. She needs constant attention, and has gone a little clingy.

She's in nursery 3 days which is great, but the other 2 days when DH is at work I am really struggling with.

I feel guilty at the amount of TV she is watching, or on apps on the iPad.

I try to do stuff at the table, like baking and crafty stuff but I am running out of energy and inspiration. Also the cake making might have to stop soon as I'm increasingly finding it hard to get stuff in out the oven.

Offically Im on bed rest due to complications. So cant get to the park and let her run off some steam.

Any suggestions? No family able to help as all working, or in my mums case has had a stroke, so whilst moral support no practical help.

quertas Wed 10-Apr-13 16:05:40

A few ideas. Can nursery split her days a bit more? Maybe go for 2 full days and 2 half days do she has more "bang for her buck" there? They're usually tireder and happier to boggle at the box- about which you should NOT feel guilty. Home start may be able to help a bit - try googling them but if you can afford it how about advertising for a mothers help at your nearest FE college. It's good experience for a student doing childcare courses for example and they can basically play with your child under your direct supervision. Also can you talk to other parents at nursery? If one of the parents at my DDs nursery was in the same boat I know I'd be happy to have the DC over for play dates or bring my DD round and let's face it when their friends are there they don't want to play with ussmile. Sympathy to you. I'm 29 weeks with only one ( i havd half your problem) and my 2 year old DD is not seeing the best of me either !

Blending Thu 11-Apr-13 08:19:06

Thanks for the suggestions!

I've spoke to nursery and they can split her Thursday into 2 days, and I have found a local toddler group on a Thursday morning and the llibrary does a session on a Friday morning. The afternoons are the most challenging so she will now do 4 afternoons in Nursery and 2 mornings, and if I can manage something to entertain her in the mornings that should help.

So as long as I am able to continue to drive, this seems reasonable, she has learnt to get in and out of her car seat so I don't need to lift her (bribery still needed, but needs must and all that) but how long I will be able to fit behind the wheel for is another matter!

MrsWolowitz Thu 11-Apr-13 08:22:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThreeBeeOneGee Thu 11-Apr-13 08:24:50

I do sympathise; when I had my twins the older ones were two and four. Once the eldest was at nursery, I would try to heave myself to a toddler group where I would sit and drink tea and the two year old would be entertained by the kind helpers. Once my SPD got too bad, I couldn't even do that, so I would base myself on the sofa and the two year old would play on the floor, bring books for me to read to him, or watch CBeebies.

MrsWolowitz Thu 11-Apr-13 08:26:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Longfufu Thu 11-Apr-13 08:36:49

Oh poor you blending, I kinda feel your pain! I'm 23 weeks with DS2 and have a 2 yo. I'm exhausted and I'm carrying one baby!

I try and do something in the mornings when I have slightly more energy then cbeebies/ dvds babysit in the afternoon for a bit whilst I rest for a hour.

Do you have a garden? We've just got DS a sand pit with various toys, if it's dry I sit outside whilst he plays. Least he's getting some fresh air and I really don't need to move. I find this helps just break the day up a bit.

I cook easy dinners ATM, pasta, beans on toast, boiled eggs, veg sticks etc etc just to make life easy.

Good luck x

Blending Thu 11-Apr-13 10:03:00

Thank you!

DD is now in nursery so I am able to slob around for the day!

She is demanding, but I guess that with these aliens about to land in her life she needs to be a little more independant in her play.

Mrs W, you havent scared me its great to know that theres light at the end of the tunnel, I know the first few months will be hell on earth "challenging" but I hope that once we are past the 24 hour constant feeding at about 4 months things will settle down.

Looking into some help from Home Start, as they can help with multiples, and we may get some help from a local college, but not until the new term in September, I'm sure we will muddle through.

I'm going to stop feeling guilty about the TV etc as its an necessary evil, and as long as she gets stimulation elsewhere its not going to rot her brain (too much!)

gardenpixie32 Thu 11-Apr-13 10:06:09

I don't have any other DC, just my 6 month old twins. I was a childminder before the girls were born and went on maternity leave at 30 weeks. I looked after 3 two year old 4 days a week (8am-6pm) and it nearly killed me! I was exhausted everyday! So I can imagine how you must feel having a two year old 24/7. Towards the end I could barely move and lifting them was hard work.

No advice, just sympathy thanks

glossyflower Thu 11-Apr-13 10:08:55

I have no advice as I'm expecting first baby any day now. Although I do sympathise, I have found things hard being pg with just one and no children to look after ... All I can say is it won't last forever, and big hugs xxx

quertas Thu 11-Apr-13 15:00:16

Hi Blending

This is good news! I do feel your pain on this. I'm tied up in knots sometimes thinking that DC2 isn't even here yet and already my DD is getting the rough end. But its only a few months and as you say its not going to harm her at all. And at the end she'll have two new siblings to play with! glad to hear nursery were able to help out. I find with my DD that if she's got a half day at nursery she's happier to 'veg' out a bit at home on the other half and I don't feel like I have to cram the day with activities. Be kind to yourself, you're doing an amazingly hard thing!

butterflyexperience Thu 11-Apr-13 16:49:59

Don't feel guilty this pregnacy is just a blip in your dc1 parenting smile

I was pregnant with dd2 whilst dd1 was under 2 and felt much like you but dd1 wasn't in preschool yet and I had no help either.

Take one day at a time and try and encourage independent play.
You sit/lie on sofa whilst your dc colour/play blocks on floor

Use the tv as much as you can! Don't feel guilty as you will still be using tv as a baby sitter when your twins arrive

Can you reintroduce naps?
Can you take dc to a soft play Center so you sit and your dc plays?

Blending Mon 22-Apr-13 14:05:18

I've thrown in the towel! DD is now at nursery FT from today.

She's a proper little monkey and I realised that I can't keep her 100% safe without better supervision (she can now run twice as fast as me and climbing is her new obssession), also she really needs to get outdoors more and the place where she goes has them out every day regardless of the weather.

Nursery have been really good and said that we only need to give a weeks notice to go back down to PT.

So feeling guilty, can't really afford it, but it is only short term so I think on balance its for the best.

I have started some of the fantastic ideas on here, like getting her used to sitting next to me to read, and getting her to turn the pages so that when I'm feeding the twins we can still have interaction. Actually with that, she can hardly fit on my knee due to the bump so its a godsend!

DH has been sleeping in the spare room as I am snoring like a jumbo and hog the bed. This morning she went straight passed me, my door was ajar so she could come in and started to knock on the door where DH had slept shouting "Wakey wakey!" So she is already realising that it is DH who does the morning routine now!

Thanks again for all your support.

kittykatsforever Mon 22-Apr-13 14:36:11

Hi blending just seen your current post, had been wondering how you were missing from out Gemini bus for a while, pop on if you get a chance and update us, hope you are well anyway x

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