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What do you actually do with a baby ?

(77 Posts)
curlyclaz13 Sun 07-Apr-13 20:21:01

I am so clueless ! in terms of a newborn what do you do with them day to day ? I know they sleep a lot need feeding and changing but during the day do you put them in a bouncy chair or their crib ? I don't think I will be holding him all the time ! I have no close friends with children I can ask really. I am going to be terrible !

isitsnowingyet Sun 07-Apr-13 20:29:05

You may be holding them quite a lot! I'm sure someone with more recent experience can advise, but the first few weeks they like to gaze at a face quite close up as they can't focus far away. A newborn is too floppy to put in a bouncy chair, as they need to have their neck and back supported quite well. (But I might be wrong - depends on the chair?)

All 3 of mine liked gentle movement and being more upright than flat, and it did involve holding them quite a bit..

I'm sure you won't be terrible, as it's your own baby and you will find through your own experience what works and what doesn't. smile

icravecheese Sun 07-Apr-13 20:29:17

of course you're not going to be terrible! I have had 3 babies in the past 6 years and with my first, i had NO idea what I was doing - i'd never held a newborn, let alone changed a nappy.

With my first born, I did a lot of browsing around town with baby in pram. During the day at home, baby slept in pram alot, which was parked up in the lounge - I didnt put him up in his crib / moses in his room on his own (mainly because I was a wierdo neurotic 1st time mum who had to regularly check that he was still breathing etc!). I also didnt put him in bouncy chair or on floor playmat until he was at least 4 weeks old, perhaps even 6 weeks, he was just too young to appreciate it really.

I felt like I should've been cuddling / holding him alot more, so spent time doing that, but then he just used to get too used to it & wouldnt settle in moses, so that eventually stopped!
He basically spent at least the first month of his life snoozing in pram in lounge whilst I watched daytime tv / chatted on phone and peeped in on him every 2 seconds 20 minutes smile

JollyPurpleGiant Sun 07-Apr-13 20:33:04

I'm wondering the same thing and I will be having my second in August.

Between feeding, changing and sleeping there's not a great deal of time left. Maybe 20 minutes or so awake at one time. So not much. Cuddle, smile, sing songs.

isitsnowingyet Sun 07-Apr-13 20:35:51

icrave that's a much more practical answer, and probably more helpful. They do sleep a lot - it's true

curlyclaz13 Sun 07-Apr-13 20:37:08

I will not be torturing the poor thing by singing !
do you use sheets on the pram mattress ?

Sunshinewithshowers Sun 07-Apr-13 20:43:45

When are you due?

I wont know what to do either,

Im due in 3 weeks, currently laying on my side on the sofa with a huge dog asleep next to me, with his front paws on my tummy grin

icravecheese Sun 07-Apr-13 20:53:56

my pram mattress came with ready made small fitted sheets - am sure you can buy whatever size you need online. Also, I wrapped a muslin round the pram mattress where baby's head was to lie - they invariable feed, lie in pram, gurgle, them vomit onto nice clean sheet, so having a muslin there means you can whip it out and put a nice clean muslin in its place - just have lots of clean muslins handy!

Oh, and if you don't fancy singing to baby, just chatter away instead - well, you'll be chatting to yourself, but it (a) stops you going mad in your own company and (b) is good to chatter to baby as it should help them start to talk 18months later wink

curlyclaz13 Sun 07-Apr-13 20:56:54

sunshine, I am due in 9 weeks. I spend most of my time lying on the sofa with guardian cat next to me !

redandyellowandpinkandgreen Sun 07-Apr-13 20:59:16

I held DS a lot, he slept in my arms and I watched a lot of telly. When he got bigger I used to put him down on a blanket or play mat so he could stretch and practice rolling. I used to feed from one side, pop him down and go and get myself a cuppa, come back and feed from the other side. Didn't use the bouncy chair all that much. I also went out most days to meet friends or just for a walk.

babyradio Sun 07-Apr-13 21:10:48

I'm due in 7 weeks, been wondering the same thing. Also feel that I'm going to be hopeless.

Everyones so busy frightening you that you'll get a nightmare baby who never sleeps, eats or keeps a nappy clean for more than ten seconds that you forget to worry about the 'rest' of the time!

likelucklove Sun 07-Apr-13 21:15:32

My favourite thing was to have 'conversations' with DD like crave. I would pretend her gurgling were profound answers about all my questions, like what shall I have for dinner? Motherhood doesn't make you insane, oh no wink

Honestly, just appreciate how little and perfect they are, the are running round and causing havoc way too quick. And the snuffling sounds they make for the first week, I recorded them because I miss them so much.

Most of all, YOU take it easy. Don't push yourself to go out and show baby off, just let others do they running round.

AliceWChild Sun 07-Apr-13 21:20:06

Snuggle up in bed with them, gaze at them, take them for walks, sniff them.

Panzee Sun 07-Apr-13 21:23:41

And lose yourself in the snuggly bit on the nape of their neck.

amandasegal Sun 07-Apr-13 21:41:30

i would consider taking a postpartum doula. having one really helped my friend who didn't know a thing about taking care of a baby.
good luck.

Kafri Sun 07-Apr-13 22:36:13

you may find yourself holding dc much more than you think. mine would not be put down at all for those first few weeks. he slept upright on dh and I as he has reflux.
he insisted on being rocked at ALL times! he disliked his pram/chair/swing etc. dont worry, im not trying to put you off - just making the point that you will instinctively know what you need to do and get on with it. You will learn what works for your dc and capitalise on that.
Don't make any rules just yet- wait and see what baby needs as different babies need different things.
mine is just plain awkward - still dislikes most things, will only nap in his cot so days out are awful as he gets too overtired and screeches.

rachywhite83 Sun 07-Apr-13 22:36:38

Reading all this has made me so excited about the arrival of my bundle of joy in 5 weeks !

MortifiedAdams Sun 07-Apr-13 22:39:31

They wake, feed, need their nappy changed, lay in your arms or on your knee while you look at them, lay on their mat (so you can brew up and cut yourself another slab of cake), yawn, go back to sleep. The whole awake time for DD up until at least 6 weeks was 45 mins at a time, followed by a 45min snooze. Daytime, anyways.

VenusRising Sun 07-Apr-13 22:42:11

Well if you get one who sleeps, you could I suppose put him down for naps.
My one didn't sleep much, maybe 20 minutes between feeds, and only about 6 hours at night, so I ended up wearing my little babe in a sling all day pretty much for the first few months. Also holding her, looking into her little face, and massaging her, and sitting on the sofas breast feeding.

Get yourself sorted with online shopping, and get a breast pump.

I used pillow cases for cot sheets, and a growbag instead of blankets, as my little one kicked a lot and would get cold- and wake.

Best of luck.

UniqueAndAmazing Sun 07-Apr-13 22:43:04

new newborns really do just feed and need changing.
there's a fair bit of sleeping, too, but not when you think there should be.

I wish i'd not been so worried about it and just accepted the odd sleep patterns. and fed her when she cried while I held her instead of always giving her to dh to calm her down

whirligiggle Sun 07-Apr-13 22:50:44

Dh & I pretty much held Dd for the whole of the first 6 weeks. Recommend you get an insulated, lidded cup for hot drinks or you will die of thirst. All visitors must pay a toll of making you a brew.

mybelovedmonster Mon 08-Apr-13 08:08:28

Use pillow cases for the pram mattress.

StormyBrid Mon 08-Apr-13 08:36:27

I've been wondering this myself, but so far DD (aged four weeks) isn't really awake long enough to need much by way of entertainment. She gets up, she gets fed, we spend a few minutes burping and being upright (helps with the reflux). Nappy change, and she's generally quite happy to lie on her changing mat in the kitchen waving her arms and legs and staring at the clock while I make a cuppa. I talk to her a lot, give her kisses, make her dance, poke her nose and say "boop!" because it's entertaining watching her go crosseyed trying to focus. When she starts yawning, it's swaddle, cuddle, into the Moses basket. The whole thing takes about 45 minutes, then she naps for a couple of hours. When she wakes, the whole thing starts again.

Of course, if you get one of those babies that won't go to sleep, refuses to be put down, or screams a lot for no discernible reason, your days are going to look very different to mine!

Numbthumbs Mon 08-Apr-13 09:02:01

You are going to be wonderful!!!

DS is 10 weeks. For the first fourish weeks there was a lot of sleeping (for him, not me as i also had an 18 month old to entertain) and since then he has been really happy to lie on his colourful play mat for quite a while. I must admit that the mat has been the best investment for both my DCs as they have both been awake quite a bit in the day and as much as its lovely to hold them sometimes you do want a brew and a sit down.

Just relax, accept their sleep pattern and get out for a walk as often as possible, its lovely to give them fresh air (DS sleeps outside in his cosy pram in the day) and all the old ladies come and chat to you grin

frazzledbutcalm Mon 08-Apr-13 09:31:18

You will be wonderful and find your own routine/way.
ds1 - fed, burped, slept in moses basket/pram.
dd1 - fed, cried, burped, cried, moses basket, cried, car seat, cried, pram, cried, bouncy chair, cried, cuddle, cried
dd2 - fed, burped, slept in car seat or bouncy chair as she had dislocatable hips and couldn't lie in moses basket/pram as comfy due to the pavlik harness she had to wear
ds2 - fed, burped, slept in moses basket with no clothes as I couldn't catch up with washing!

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