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When did you tell people?

(28 Posts)
harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:25:45

I'm just trying to get my head around a BFP this morning grin. When did you start to tell people about your pregnancy?

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:26:18

I should say the clearblue digital this morning said I was 1-2 weeks so very early days for me...

halestone Sat 06-Apr-13 22:29:16

First of all congratulations thanks

I told people when i was 13 weeks when we were passed the most likely time to miscarry. As unfortunately the 1st time i was pregnant i had a miscarriage and having to tell people i was no longer pregnant was upsetting to say the least.

Flisspaps Sat 06-Apr-13 22:29:58

11 weeks with DD (told my mum and MIL at about 4 weeks, but that was it)

17 weeks with DS (didn't have scan until then, I thought I was 15+4) but told our parents at 4 weeks - on the day we found out - as we wanted to let DH's nan know and she was very poorly in hospital. We rang MIL and told her, and DH's nan passed away that night after having been told.

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:31:45

When you say four weeks is that the doctors four weeks (like taking the date of the last period)... I'm getting confused with how pregnancies are dated.

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:32:49

I really want to tell my Mom as we are really close but she has just gone on holiday for a month! Seems an age until I will see her and I don't want anyone else to know until she does...

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:33:34

Thank you halestone

Thurlow Sat 06-Apr-13 22:34:17

Congrats!

We accidentally told everyone at about 6w. I thought it was 10w - it was all a bit of a surprise. And it was an important birthday party for DP and some mutual friends, it was very obvious I wasn't drinking. I wish we hadn't but there you go!

Pg is dated from your last period, so that tends at add about 2w on to whatever date you think you actually got pg.

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:37:55

Hey thurlow why did you wish you hadn't if you don't mind me asking?

whirligiggle Sat 06-Apr-13 22:39:20

Told close family at 5 weeks, others at 9 weeks as I started fainting at work & they are all nosy beggars. Ideally leave until 12 weeks at least, however as in my case it's probably better than having them all thinking you've suddenly become an alcoholic or something.

Thurlow Sat 06-Apr-13 22:41:50

Just because it was so early. I told my parents the day I found out, I told my closest friends within the week - but they were all people I would want to support me if something had gone wrong with the pregnancy.

We told everyone at this party. And then that made it even more obvious that we had got our dates wrong when suddenly the due date shifted from a (very memorable) Christmas Day to late January, so that made it very obvious that it had been unplanned!

But there is no right or wrong with this. You tell the people you wouldn't mind - touch wood and everything for a lovely, healthy pregnancy for you - knowing if something sadly went wrong.

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:46:30

Yeh, I think mom and MIL first, close friends and then everyone else after around the 12 week mark...seems like a plan. Now another question, my Mom is in America for another four weeks... If it were you would you tell her over the phone or wait to do it face to face? I feel such a chunk is missing without my Mom knowing.

Thurlow Sat 06-Apr-13 22:50:03

Over the phone is fine! If you are happy telling her, I am sure she would rather know. I did it over the phone.

Flisspaps Sat 06-Apr-13 22:52:43

Yes, 4 weeks from LMP. You get two weeks 'free' at the start - so two weeks from conception is actually 4 weeks pregnant grin

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:52:54

Yeh...just got to pluck up the courage now!

RJM17 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:53:23

I told my immediate family and my DH's immediate family a few days after we found out! I also told my best friend the same day. After that we told grandparents as I am very close to them then we told all our friends at a party Easter Sunday. I am now 8 weeks so was 7 when we told everyone.
I know that seems early but I have had 2 mc previously and the support I got from my family and friends was very much needed so I knew I would want that again! We have already had 3 scans due to previous mc and bleeding so we have now seen babies heartbeat etc. which was a great thing to share with my friends because they all knew. But also when I did bleed and got scared I had them to talk to and calm me down.
It's definately personal choice but I really don't regret telling early as that is what suited us. Plus my friend is also pregnant so it means we can share stories and she can advise me as she is 5 weeks ahead of me!! X

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:57:03

Wow how lovely to share pregnancy with your friend RJM17

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:58:01

Thank you flisspaps that helps smile

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:58:50

An added complication is that my sister is TTC too and I am not sure how she will take it...I'm nervous about telling her tbh

Sunnysummer Sat 06-Apr-13 23:08:48

Congratulations! I'm with halestone - while for 80% of people a BFP at a few weeks will mean a baby in 9 months time and there is no need to worry, you can still end up like us, telling everone at 8 weeks and then having to share the bad news 4 weeks later, which is incredibly hard, especially if you then have friends who get pregnant and things are awkward hmm

This time around we told only our parents and waited for everyone else until the 12 week scan, which went really well!

harry78 Sat 06-Apr-13 23:16:07

Yeh definitely going to take that advice....thanks sunnysummer

elQuintoConyo Sat 06-Apr-13 23:26:19

We told family at about 6weeks, iirc. DH's DM had advanced alzheimer and it was something we wanted to share with her - we always took time to see her and talk to her like normal. She died a week later, so I'm glad we did.
We told friends at 12weeks, although two had guessed earlier!
We told good friends in person, then Joe Shmoe on FB. I found it really difficult telling some friends that I was pregnant as we'd been ttc for just a month. Two friends have had breast cancer and one friend is doing ivf, tears were shed but they've all been wonderful and happy for us and very good token-aunties smile

Dexidoo Sun 07-Apr-13 06:37:31

Congratulations! I'm 21 weeks

I told 2 friends straight away- one who was also TTC and so we constantly discussed cycles and testing etc and the other who I see every day at work and also knew what had been going on including an early mc 5 months before. Other than that DH and I kept it to ourselves for 3 weeks until we had an early scan at 7w and saw the heartbeat. Those 3 weeks dragged like anything!

After the early scan we told both our mums and a couple more close friends. We waited until 13 weeks (after more scans and DS screening) to tell wider circle of friends and family and work. We announced on FB after 20 week scan. The staggered approach meant that we have had a steady stream of congratulations which is nice!

Oh and my TTC buddy is also now 12 weeks smile

squizita Sun 07-Apr-13 08:43:24

I have had 2 early MCs. I found NOT telling certain people with the first one ended up with having to have longer, complex conversations or people putting their foot in it. So whilst it is best not to tell everyone, having a small close support network in the very early days is important.

Basically, by now (my 3rd and hopefully successful go) my plan is:
-DH and then my GP as soon as test came up;
-Mother, twin sister after GP appt;
-HR at work once ongoing pg is confirmed (confidentially) - right now I'm in limbo having tests about viability but that is down to my history;
-Everyone else ... hopefully... weeks 13.

BabyHMummy Sun 07-Apr-13 14:50:46

I was about 9 weeks when i found out i was pg and as i was so ill with it we didn't have a lot of choice but to tell people!

Can ur mum skype? Almost face to face then?

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