DH have been trying for No2 for a year but only stopped bf in October (so there wasn't much chance of it happening before then), consequently this is very much a planned and wanted baby but I feel confused
Pfb was very planned too and I do remember thinking "oh shit'' when we saw the test line and pooping my pants (even though it was what we wanted).
I can't remember though if I felt so stressed about the whole thing last time or not. I am only 6 weeks and had a MAJOR tantrum at DH last night, have had 2 days of headaches, am wondering how the heck people cope with 2 under 2's, wondering how No2 can be as fab/bonkers as pfb, wondering if there is even something in there, also feeling irresponsible that we having another baby. We both work full time and can afford No2 but it still feels irresponsible.
I felt a bit self conscious this weekend as suddenly I seem to have a tummy when I was out with pfb (but my boobs haven't grown yet).
I literally do not understand what is going on in my head
I felt awful the whole time I was pg, despite having totally wanted to have a baby! With hindsight I think I had prenatal depression and have since read articles saying people think it does actually exist - maybe brought on by hormones?
Either way it's nasty! I'd suggest talking to a sympathetic GP or maybe even a counsellor?
Also, don't feel bad about feeling bad! I did and it added layers of guilt to how miserable I already felt. Your body is going through a lot - you're trying to grow a person, after all! The very fact you are even thinking about whether you are irresponsible means you are not - you are clearly a very thoughtful and caring parent.
And lastly, my mum once said to me when I questioned whether I could love a second DC as much, that just like you love different people in your life in different ways, you love your children in different ways (but just as much).
Wishing all the best for you - and congratulations!
Even though DS was very wanted and I am now 12 weeks pg with a longed for DC2, I have felt dreadful through the first trimester both times, not just with nausea and fatigue. Apprehensive, worried, irritable, depressed, totally unable to feel grateful or happy about being pg at last. With DS that lifted by week 16 or so, I'm hoping it will do the same this time. I think it must just be the hormones, I had postnatal depression as well although not badly.
CheshireDing you are not alone! I remember reading all these pregnancy books about "where you are now". This one was all "Ooh in your fourth month you are now past the morning sickness and feeling wonderful" and I was most definitely NOT! Sick for four months, then pelvic pain, then sick again at the end as my DD was born 11 pounds so I think my stomach was squashed!! And the book was also full of how I would be "bonding with my bump". I actually felt like the side of a house and uncomfortable - rang my friend in tears saying I was going to be a terrible mother as I didn't like being pg. She said " who's been feeding you all this hippy dippy crap?! Being pg is hard!" I laughed and felt better...
Talk to your friends, talk to people who felt the same, try your GP - don't suffer alone, and don't feel bad that other people expect you to be glowing and wonderful! It is hard!
But the end product is so worthwhile - keep counting down to that