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Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

(1000 Posts)
Dildals Sun 31-Mar-13 16:46:22

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

ExpatAl Wed 15-May-13 13:57:43

More twins! What are you guys drinking over there??
Sweetie, what lovely news. You will cope - it will be bliissful chaos.

SweetieTime Wed 15-May-13 13:59:31

Dildals thanks for that list it has really cheered me up and brought a tear to my eye. I feel we will be great as time goes on, especially when things start to get easier. at least twins go through everything together and are at a similar stage rather than starting over with a sibling. I am really excited I just hope we get that far.

I will definitely join you in the head in the sand approachwink

Dildals Wed 15-May-13 14:12:17

You're welcome. It made me cry a little too. No 21 - you can eat more than with a singleton pregnancy! ;-)

Crisps How are you doing? For you it will be no 2 and 3! Bit more than you bargained for? Or delighted?

MarianaTrench Wed 15-May-13 14:49:39

That's a great list. There is a lot to be said for getting sleepless nights over and done with, (presuming you'll stop at two...)

Dildals, I have that financial head in the sand thing going on. Normally I'm on top of every detail with our money / childcare etc but at the moment I just shrug and say 'it'll be fine, we'll work something out'.

ExpatAl Wed 15-May-13 15:16:13

Yes, me too with head in the sand.

Mariana, the only thing to do with a baby is to coo over how lovely it is. Don't these people know that?!

Shazza, I can't say that regular checks doesn't stop your imagination going nuts between them though! Does your cervix get checked at the 20 week scan in the UK?

Dildals Wed 15-May-13 15:31:08

expat my cervix was checked at 12 and next week I will be able to tell you whether they also check it at 20!

MarianaTrench Wed 15-May-13 15:32:25

Oh they coo first and then the unsolicited advice comes!

I don't think they do check cervix length here - that can be an indicator for premature labour can't it?

MarianaTrench Wed 15-May-13 15:34:18

Sorry I misread that as cervix length. I don't know what they check here off the top of my head but if you google it you can find it (and scare yourself further.)

Shazzamattazzerly Wed 15-May-13 16:59:41

Ah I'm secretly envious of not being in the twin club now! I'll just have to give shazlett double the love grin

Sweetie you'll be fine. I've only got one bun in the oven and I'm fretting about money too. Does the head in the sand hormone come in tablet form? Can I buy it in boots?

Expat I didn't get my cervix checked. I'm guessing they do that internally or can they see on the scan? If they do it on the scan then maybe they did but nothing (or no one!) went 'inside' as it were.

Mariana I can't imagine going from the 20 week scan to birth with nothing. I'll definitely go for a private one in between. I'll never last that long!

I'm now the proud owner of a pair of top shop mat jeans bought on eBay for the princely sum of £2.20! I've no idea if they are my size or whether they are ok but I won them anyway. I'm watching lots of items ending tonight and tomorrow so all being well i'll be well on my way to a selection of clothing by tomorrow night.

ExpatAl Wed 15-May-13 17:42:56

I think they have to do it internally Shazza. I'd be surprised if they did early, but thought they might at the 20 week scan. Do you really go from 20 week to birth with nothing? Surely not! I thought you had a scan at atleast 34 weeks to check for any growth problems etc.

Foodylicious Wed 15-May-13 18:04:23

this list everything we should get on the nhs

MarianaTrench Wed 15-May-13 18:27:19

Nothing from 20 weeks except your bump measured by an old fashioned tape measure (which has a huge margin of error) and regular heartbeat checks. It's up to you to monitor yourself - the horrendously stressful 10 kicks an hour!

Dildals Wed 15-May-13 20:08:23

they checked my cervix length, via vaginal scan, at my 12 wk scan, but maybe that's because it was twins?

Then with twins you get lots more scans.

ExpatAl Wed 15-May-13 20:14:48

Makes sense with twins as it would be much more for your body to cope with. How are you feeling Dildals now that they're getting bigger?

putthecrispsDOWN Wed 15-May-13 21:50:54

Hi all! Thanks for the congrats. Feeling much happier now. I think I will always be nervous after my last experience but the consultant said she would treat this as a normal twin pregnany and that I should take her at her word. I do keep realising we don't have enough bedrooms/room in the car etc but we don't really care. I just feel happy to have won the battle against my stupid infertility and ending up with more kids than average. Ha! Team Prof Robert Winston 3, endometriosis 0

dildals I think that's just how everyone gets through parenting...if we all sat down and thought about the lack of sleep and tantrums and constant skintness we'd cry but actually just getting on with it is why you enjoy kids. You are doing it exactly right if you ask me!

sweetie I'm good thanks...just want to fast forward the next few weeks but have another scan in two which will help (no probs, just a bad picture so she couldn't do the measurements v well, took ages to find heartbeats too but they were def there!) Just trying to be cautious at the mo. did they mention having to take 1mg of folic acid to you? My lady said 5mg which seemed huuuuuuge so googled it. Are you huge yet? I already have a big fat belly which looks a bit bumpesque in the right dresses. Hope it will evolve into a neat bump soon. I remember loving last pregnancy when my belly was so big it made my boobs look small...I am size 14 with size 30KK boobs normally so I felt in proportion for once. Vive la twins revolution and long may it continue!!!

putthecrispsDOWN Wed 15-May-13 22:04:30

dildals forgot to say thanks for the list. I will read it every time I start worrying myself and googling stupid things. We will be chuffed to bits with 3 as we'd have liked about 5 or 6 tbh....bring it on! I have always wanted to spend my life cooking Sunday dinner for hundreds of children and grandchildren and having to buy a million Christmas presents...if everything works out then I might just get my wish!

MarianaTrench Wed 15-May-13 22:27:22

Aw that's lovely crisps. I like the 3-0 score too.

Shazzamattazzerly Thu 16-May-13 07:52:29

Ah crisps that is so lovely I nearly cried! I'm so happy for you. Your consultant sounds nice and reassuring.

I love the idea of a house full of kids and family too but I think that I'm so lucky to have this one and I doubt i'll be blessed again at my age. Still We've got cousins and extended family so hopefully we will all have a fun old time together!

Sunny in London after a freezing day yesterday. Hurrah for springsmile

SweetieTime Thu 16-May-13 08:26:14

Crisps 3-0 grin the nurse didnt mention extra folic acid. But she did say to take a supplement with iron. my clinic have discharged me now. I have a booking in appointment with my local midwife tomorrow so I will ask what additional stuff I need to take.
I have noticed my tummy getting a bit bigger but I am in my normal work trousers today and they still feel comfy.

GinSoaked Thu 16-May-13 09:39:31

OMG, all the twinnies pregnancies ladies! Such good news. I am really thrilled for you both Crisps and Sweetie. Did you both have 2 embies put back, or are they identicals? I can imagine it is a shock, but it’s wonderful to have a ready -made family in one go. Like Shazz, I can’t see us having another one, as this one has cost us £10k+ to produce and we just can’t afford any more IVF, although I always wanted 3. crisps I love the 3-0 thing too and adore Prof Winston. He’s ace and thank god for him and all his colleagues, I say!

foody congrats on your scan too! It is a special moment seeing that little heartbeat.

expat I’m so pleased all was well at your scan too. So sorry to hear about what happened to your boy. I can’t imagine getting over something like that.

mariana I can’t believe all the “helpful” advice people have been giving you when out and about! She’s a baby fgs, she cries, it’s what they do. I hope it hasn’t put you off venturing out. I remember seeing some women doing the same to a new mum on the bus and the new mum looked so close to tears. I felt so sorry for her.

shazz I’m impressed at the ebay jeans! Have they arrived? Are they nice? As soon as the 12 week scan is done (and fingers crossed all is ok), I will def have to purchase some.

I’ve finally heard from the hospital and have some appointments through, wohoo! This afternoon we have the booking in appointment with the midwives at the hospital. I’m actually quite excited, which is a bit silly I know, but it helps make it feel a bit more real. We also have a date for the 12 week scan – 1 June- , which will be at 12 weeks exactly. As it’s not too far away, I’m going to try to resist booking a private scan. I’m pretty sure I’d be like you mrshy and happy for a day or so, before returning to my old panicking self. As some of you have said, there’s a huge wait from the 20 weeks scan, so maybe that’s the time to slip in a private one. I’m also increasingly tempted by the Doppler heartbeat things. Or are they just a waste of money, hmmm….

Hope you all enjoy the lovely the sunshine today!

ExpatAl Thu 16-May-13 11:02:55

10K Gin? That's a huge amount of money. I feel so lucky to have had my treatment in Belgium. You are entitled to 6 retrievals before your 42nd birthday (until recently it was before your 43rd). Your mutuel (slightly similar to the NHS) picks up the tab and we only had to pay a small amount - roughly 350 euros for each IVF cycle. Fab eh? Of course the UK wins hands down for most other things but I award it an epic fail for this.

GinSoaked Thu 16-May-13 11:33:33

6 funded cycles is amazing expat! Although, I don't know if I could have gone through it 6 times... I had read about Belgium's amazing IVF funding. Apparently even in France you get 3 funded cycles. Where we live, there is no funding at all. I spent a lot of time being v. cross about it, as we met all the criteria and had no chance without ivf. Luckily, our wonderful family helped with the costs. The scary thing is, £10k is pretty cheap over here for 2 IVF cycles and a FET. So yes, mashive fail to the UK.

Dildals Thu 16-May-13 14:12:40

It's strange isn't it, this postcode lottery. We got one IVF cycle funded, or 3 cycles of IUI, so we got lucky (in more ways than one). In the Netherlands I think it is 3 funded cycles.

MarianaTrench Thu 16-May-13 14:44:37

If I'd had problems conceiving number one, I'd probably have stuck at one. My losses only happened after I'd decided I really wanted two and at the time it all started I was 'only' 37 so I became doggedly determined to have another one day. I am so enormously grateful for them both that I couldn't be happier. Shazza, my DD1 adores her cousins and has great fun with them. DD2 is that much younger so won't have that same relationship with them all. Hopefully they'll indulge her rather than be massively irritated by her.

The funding issue is tricky. There needs to be rationing in a universal system but it can often seem unfair in individual cases and regional variation is very hard to justify.

Gin, I would caution against the doppler. I went through a phase when the position of the baby made it hard for the heartbeat to be found. I had to have an emergency scan on one occasion which was very scary. I would worry that you could drive yourself mad trying to find a heartbeat but not being able to find one when actually there's nothing wrong. It could be more stressful than reassuring.

No unsolicited advice on this morning's shopping trip, although the butcher said that I was confusing him with my red and green pram but he would guess it was a boy. I said no, a girl, but I wasn't mad on pink. I then looked at DD1 dressed head to toe in pink and laughed hollowly. Unfortunately she chooses her own clothes these days.

Shazzamattazzerly Thu 16-May-13 15:21:15

Hello ladies
I'm doing a relatively boring admin job for an hour which basically involves sitting and waiting to see students if they come in to collect a letter. Woohoo an hour of doing nothing then!

Gin gosh that is a lot of money. we were also on our way to saving that much in readiness for potential future cycles. I still can't believe how blinking lucky I was and I'm so grateful. Great news about your appts. Where have you decided to go for MW care in the end?

The jeans haven't arrived yet. Goodness knows if they will fit. I've also just 'won' a lovely silk top shop dress for £4.70. I'm so pleased. I expected to pay much more than that. I missed out on some dungarees though which I was disappointed about. Still I've got my eye on another 3 dresses and a top that end tonight. Can I get my entire mat wardrobe for less than 20quid?!!

Mariana do people really have gender colour specific prams? Blimey not in our house. I won 10 balls of lovely pale pink yarn on eBay that I intend to use for a baby blanket boy or girl! I'm also very close to my cousins despite having one sibling. So I think we'll be fine. That's one of the reasons why I want to move closer to my family.

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