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Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

(1000 Posts)
Dildals Sun 31-Mar-13 16:46:22

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

MrsHY1 Mon 01-Apr-13 15:02:19

Hi Dildals and everyone
Can I join for some hand holding and mentalling please? I am a mere 4+5 after finding out I was pregnant last Weds. It was my third FET after my fresh cycle was cancelled due to ohss in April 2012. I had two more FETs on the NHS, transferring two 'excellent' blasts each time, but two BFNs. I then switched to a private clinic and went dabbling into the dark arts of NK cells and blood clotting mutations. We transferred our last two embies (both good but the bottom of the pile ratings-wise), one had survived with 80% of its cells and the other 60%, so I think the first one stuck.
Going for my first scan at 7 weeks and totally shitting myself. I know it's far too soon to get excited but sometimes I can't help it. But then I visit some other threads and see how many IVF-related early losses there seem to be, then start shitting myself again. It's pretty brutal! Keep trying to tell myself that if this doesn't work out, at least we got further than ever before. Xx

fairypangolin Mon 01-Apr-13 15:21:19

Hi mrs welcome to the thread. We completely understand your terror! The day I went for my 7 week viability scan I was more anxious than I have ever been in my life. The nurse actually had to stop the scan because my legs were shaking too much! But it was all fine and I am 12 weeks today. It sounds as though you have had a lot of hard times getting here as well.

dildals what DVD do you have? Is it any good? I am desperate for more exercise than just cycling to work or walking but I also get breathless really easily.

MarianaTrench Mon 01-Apr-13 16:01:06

I love the idea of pregnancy yoga but where I live is quite rural and there isn't such a thing. I will get back to a regular class as soon as my health allows. I do think it keeps me a bit sane!

Swimming is great to keep on with, as by the time you're enormous it's lovely to feel the weight lifted, even if you don't actually do more than a couple of lengths.

Had a better day so far today as we had visitors which kept me from obsessing for a few hours. Although I was of course, very uncomfortable with the frequent references to the baby. I'm going to arrange to see a midwife this week though and get myself checked over, they said I can go in to the clinic whenever I want for reassurance. I don't have a scheduled appointment until next Friday which seems ages off. I'm now going to do my kick counting which scares the living daylights out of me...

MarianaTrench Mon 01-Apr-13 16:04:53

Hi Mrs, scans are utterly terrifying to me so I know how you feel. I cry uncontrollably during them and refuse to ever look at the screen. I feel ridiculous giving advice when I'm clearly such a mess but try to see things as little steps and only look to the next one, not the whole lot at once as it's easily overwhelming.

Shazzamattazzerly Mon 01-Apr-13 19:37:12

Hello ladies

I hope you have had a good day.

Welcome MrsH. I'm sorry you have had a rough ride but congrats in your success. We all completely understand the anxiety. Hence the need for this thread. The ante natal threads were just too scary at this stage. So feel free to mental away here. We are here to hold your handsmile

Mariana I'm glad you had a slightly better day.

I feel shamed by all your exercise efforts so I went for a brisk walk today for 30 mins. If I add that a few times a week to my twice weekly ballroom dancing do you think that will be ok for now? I'm rubbish at formal exercise. I like cycling but it's 9 miles to work and an hour each way on my bike is too much for me. Plus the roads are too scary.

Dildals I'd also like the name of the DVD. Exercise in the privacy of my own home sounds like a splendid idea smile

I felt abit funny this morning. Not sick exactly but definitely wobbly and queasy. I've taken it easy this weekend and I'm not looking forward to getting up at 6 tomorrow morning. I feel worse first thing in the morning.

Only 3 more sleeps til my scan. I'm praying that shazlett is in there growing well and it's not just an empty sac. That is my recurring nightmare at the moment.

Have a good evening girls.

Shaz xx

Kafri Mon 01-Apr-13 22:33:21

hi guys

im hi-jacking here.

I worried every single step of the way. I had a bleed at 6 weeks (onm
my bday of all days) so got an early scan-lovely little hb seen.
then uad my viability scan and was discharged from clinic to go to mw care. the all the routine appts from then on.
after each and every one i told myself i would stop worrying as i had seen/heard everything was ok. that lasted until, well pretty much until I got in the car to go home grin I worried about quite literally EVERYTHING. After 6 years and then IVF I had too much to lose.

I had absolutely no symptoms whatsoever, right up until 32 weeks when my bp started to dance about a bit and a touch of heartburn. in fact, had it not been for my huge bump, I wouldn't have known i was pregnant. (lucky i know)

anyway - the point being - 14 week ds is now sleeping next door and is just bloody beautiful. so, all the worrying was well worth it.

good luck ladies, hope all goes well. enjoy your pregnancies as much as you can. its over in a flash bet it doesn't feel like that at the min and for us IVFers, who lnows if we'll get to do it all again. xx

keepitgoing Tue 02-Apr-13 03:57:55

Hi mrsHY I think we met before. Congratulations!! I'm just a few days ahead of you, and feel exactly the same. Some disbelief, happy we've got this far, scared of seeing an empty sac only (ditto shaz!). I am trying to just keep calm and focus on being pregnant for now. It's still 16 days to my scan...

Hi kafri thanks for sharing your story, and congratulations on your son! I don't suppose you've stopped worrying now, though, have you? smile Wise words, though, thank you.

shaz that sounds like a good amount of exercise. But I agree road cycling not a good idea. Two days now!!

Mariana great that yesterday was a bit better. One less day, now. Can I ask, how is your husband/partner? Is he OK? You're nearly there, sweetheart.

Kafri Tue 02-Apr-13 08:07:00

I have most definitely not stopped worrying lol

I told myself that all would be ok once i could see him/her - we didn't find out the sex.

well - now its is he eating enough? is he warm enough? is his nursery the right temp? have i got the right toys for his development? am I playing enough? am I putting him down enough? the list is endless.

its still really strange having someone so dependant on you.

grin all worth it though! ! xx

MarianaTrench Tue 02-Apr-13 08:09:29

Kafri, I bet you haven't stopped worrying! Congratulations on you're son though.

Only two more sleeps until your scan now shaz. There is something called the 'presumption of normality' that I read about once, in that 90% of pregnant women have this attitude because about 90% of pregnancies are problem free. Because you've already experienced infertility you lose this presumption but there is still a huge chance that you're in the 90% problem free category. (I hope this makes a bit of sense!)

I personally didn't stop worrying after I had my daughter but it was a different kind of worrying. My worry is that my stupid unreliable body will let the baby down, whereas that is less of an issue once they're safely out. I have rather a negative attitude towards my body as I feel that it has let me down by being rubbish at fertility and pregnancy. Before all this I liked it and felt fit, healthy and strong.

I think road cycling makes you feel very vulnerable so I wouldn't do that!

My husband is lovely, keep, but also anxious about it so I can't offload onto him. He doesn't know nearly as much as I do about it all so when I tell him what I'm worried about it becomes a new thing for him to worry about too. I explained the importance of sleeping on ones left side to him the other day, which was new to him and now he's waking me up in the night to get me to turn over.

He's back at work today so I will be busy with looking after my daughter and housework. I hope this takes my mind off things. It's good to have a rest physically but mentally I just whip myself up into a panic.

Hope everyone else has a good day.

Dildals Tue 02-Apr-13 09:12:49

On the exercise DVD, I got the Tracy Anderson Pregnancy Project, which is a bit OTT of me, because it is not for sale in the UK. I managed to find a region-free version on ebay which I bought. I really liked the idea of having a different DVD every month, because your body is changing so much every month. I was worried about doing something 'wrong' if I were to carry on doing weight training on my own, so I was either going to hire a PT or buy this DVD. The DVD is cheaper ... The workouts are not easy, which I like, I get a bit of a rash when I am exposed to too much yoga, whale chanting and incense. The next person who tells me that I should focus on 'gentle exercise' I may have to not v gently slap in the face! I listen to my body, combined with common sense and do the exercise I feel comfortable with and that should be sufficient really. I have only done one DVD but it is all floor exercises focused on muscle strengthening. She exercises your stomach muscles by means of other exercises which is quite good, so no crunches. I am not used to doing these type of exercises so I had sore bum muscles for about five days. But I need to be strong to carry these 2, now and after they're born. And my god, if I carry on with these DVDs for nine months I will have an ass you can crack an egg on (somewhere under the maternal fat stores). ;-)

I am sure there are other pregnancy DVDs out there, I did a bit of MN research at the time and there's definitely other suggestions out there.

keepitgoing Tue 02-Apr-13 13:56:10

Happy 12 weeks dildals!

Shazzamattazzerly Tue 02-Apr-13 15:10:18

Hello ladies

I'm struggling at work today. For all my moaning about not having symptoms I'm full on queasy today.ive never noticed how many smells there are around. Especially on the bus. I thought I was going to punch the man who slammed my window shut when I was desperate for fresh air! And I'm so so tired. I just want to be at home.

Kafri thank you for sharing your story. That is really inspiring. Congratulations on your beautiful son. How wonderful for you. I feel reassured by your lack of symptoms even though some sickness has started for me today.

Keep I totally relate to the disbelief. I keep thinking that once I see the scan I'll be fine and not worry anymore but I fear that I may be like Kafri and that will last until I exit the building. Do you have any further contact with the clinic, blood tests etc? Or is that it now til your scan?

Mariana I hope you are having a good day at home with DD. thanks for the 90% reassurance. It's a really good point. I was wondering if most women worry like this but a friend of mine has just given birth and I can't believe for a minute that she worried at all. She is so relaxed about everything. (she's australian!). I hope you will feel better about your body once it has delivered a healthy strong baby for you.

My DP sounds very similar to yours. He is so supportive but more of a worrier than me. Every time I bring up something new he gets more anxious. The latest one is downs screening. For some reason he hadn't considered it. I'm panicking because we didn't discuss it before and feel terribly irresponsible.

Thanks for the DVD tips dildals. Is it the one that costs about £50? Is there much jumping around? I live on the 1st floor!

Hello fairy and MrsH I hope you are both ok today.

Well I'd better try to continue with work.

Have a good afternoon all.

Shaz xxx

Dildals Tue 02-Apr-13 15:59:26

shaz NOOO I got it for £26 incl postage!

Oh, I couldn't go on the bus with all the smells, it's horrible isn't it? I don't really like opening the fridge either, too many smells coming at once.

keep thanks! Scan next week Monday. SO excited (maybe I don't belong on a worriers thread! ;-)

Dildals Tue 02-Apr-13 16:00:30

Shaz and there is zero jumping around. Normally the Tracy Anderson DVDs are too 'dancy' for me, I feel totally uncoordinated if I ever try and replicate any of her moves, but these I can positively manage!

Kafri Tue 02-Apr-13 16:02:48

I tried to reason it out with myself in the end - I decided that being pregnant is precious to any woman but for us who've had difficulty in becoming so it was all the more precious and we sort of had more to lose. I'm not saying it's ok for anything bad to happen to someone who can conceive naturally at all, just that with all the effort and worry we've had in getting pg, to fall at the final hurdle would be awful.

I work in a particularly difficult field for being pg - kids with challenging behaviour and I very much wrapped myself in cotton wool throughout the whole 9 months thats a lie too, 40 weeks is nigh on 10 months but that thought would finish many a pg lady off I didnt care about the people that would say 'don't worry, you'll be fine' etc, I did everything I possibly could to make sure I was out of harms way.


keepitgoing Tue 02-Apr-13 16:03:49

Well you've had quite a few scans, dildals, so there's nothing to worry about! You can try and keep us calm...

Shaz, no, I have no appointment till the 18th. Glad you're feeling sick... I just said to dh I don't think I'm pregnant I feel so normal (except wind...) But he said hcg tests and seeing a sac don't lie.

Shazzamattazzerly Tue 02-Apr-13 16:50:14

Hi keep I know funny isn't it? Mr S said great when I said I felt sick. It's worse after eating. That's when I can decide what to eat that is going to make me felt the minimum sick possible! It has only been the past few days. The nutritionist told me not to worry if all I could keep down is fish finger sandwiches (for example) the baby will be fine for a few weeks feeling off my stores so I can afford to concentrate on eating foods that are ok for a couple of weeks if need be.

Your DP is right. You are definitely preggerssmile But I know how you feel. You are just over 5 weeks is that right? That's when I had no symptoms and was freaking out about it. I didn't believe everyone who said don't worry the symptoms will come. But don't worry the symptoms will come winkand if they don't then you'll be lucky!

Thanks dildals. I'll check out eBay. Sounds perfect.

Am on bus home. It's less busy so I can have the window open without loads of people moaning. I might try the train if I don't feel better. I'll have to wear the baby on board badge though (even though i'll feel like a fraud) otherwise I'll never get a seat and I can't stand all the way if I'm concentrating on not feeling sick.


Dildals Tue 02-Apr-13 17:11:07

keep I have a loyalty card at St Thomas EPU. I love it there. Do you think I can rent one of those machines? ;-)

MrsHY1 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:01:24

Thanks for the welcome everyone!
Dildals I too would love to be doing a bit more exercise but I'm literally freaking out if I sneeze or cough at the moment (worrying I'll dislodge the embryo!) so I'd better not do too much. I have got an exercise bike and am going to try and get back on that (albeit at a lower intensity). Really like the sound of the Tracy Anderson DVD though.
Shazza that bus journey this morning sounds horrid! That said, I'm feeling really reassured about what you're saying re symptoms - at 5 weeks tomorrow I'm panicking that other than a funny pokey feeling 'up there' that comes on now and then I've got no other symptoms and have therefore convinced myself that two pregnancy tests (amazed I've not done more actually) and a HCG blood test are totally wrong. Am definitely liking the sound of fishfinger sandwiches though.
keepitgoing hi again! So pleased things worked out for you too. Your DH is right but mine is saying the same thing (albeit haven't seen a sac) and I keep telling him that he's talking rubbish. Poor sod. Your scan is the day after mine!
kafri I'm glad that basically this is the start of a lifetime of worry smile
Mariana I love the presumption of normality theory. Well, I don't like the fact that I'm 'in it', but it's made a lot of things make sense and has actually made me think more positively. Why should we sleep on our left? I do anyway but I'd like to know and it might give me something else to worry about ;)
fairypangolin I think I too will suffer from shaky legs (and everything else!) a fortnight tomorrow!

I've had a good(ish) day, work has kept me busy and I had to go to the clinic to pick up another 20 shots of Clexane (I'm getting some beautiful blue bruises all over my middle and both thighs, good job I won't be requiring a bikini body any time soon). Otherwise, not much to report! is it wrong that when I've posted this I'm quite tempted to check out the buggy reviews?? The problem is that I'm quite an optimist in real life so this constant state of pessism isn't agreeing with me at all. I'm off to see my counsellor at 8pm (who is worth her wait in gold) so if she passes on any gems I'll share!

Kafri Tue 02-Apr-13 18:24:48

MrsHY1 i'm not sure i'll ever have a bikini body again - DS certainly put paid to that with a little help from my pregnancy eating habits
I'm the same, i'm a really happy go luck person so it was completely out of the ordinary for me to worry so much - think i've got into the swing of things now though wink

For all of you who are wanting to throw darts at my head for having a symptom free pg, I can tell you I have paid for it since. DS has been a, er, handful, to say the least. He spent the first 8 weeks of his life screaming inconsolably. He has reflux and is on Pepti1 milk and Omeprazole to control it - but will, to this day, still not sleep on his back - just another thing I worry about given that everyone does the whole 'make sure baby sleeps on their back' and 'foot to foot' etc - WELL SOME BABIES JUST BLOODY WON'T. grin
He is only now beginning to settle a bit better but is still whiny to say the least.

MarianaTrench Tue 02-Apr-13 19:27:11

Argh, don't want to panic people (further) but some people think you should try to only sleep on your left side when you're heavily pregnant. It's supposed to reduce the risk of stillbirth, but although there is reliable research evidence, it hasn't led to a formal recommendation from NICE or whoever.

(Of course, if you try to sleep only on your left side you will wake up on your right side or back on the hour, every hour and the resulting insomnia will make you even more bonkers!)

fairypangolin Tue 02-Apr-13 21:03:57

kafri if its any consolation, my DS also just would not settle on his back so at about 4 weeks old in desperation I put him on his stomach and he instantly slept for 3 hours! I asked the health visitor whether it really was that much more dangerous and she said well only a few years ago I was advising mothers to only put babies on their fronts... After that he always slept on his tummy and he was fine. I did keep checking his breathing every ten minutes for the first week though.

mrs I would say go and look at buggy reviews if it makes you happy!

shazza I don't want to say congratulations on feeling queasy but at least now you won't be worrying about not having symptoms. My current thing is I love drinking very cold water and sucking on ice. God knows why but it just feels delicious. Haven't told anyone in RL although I did buy DS some ice lollies so I could nick one.

Shazzamattazzerly Tue 02-Apr-13 22:27:29

Hi ladies

Fairy I've moved onto the OJ craving that you and dildals had. I keep denying any cravings and insist to DP that I just 'fancy' a glass of OJ and it is just a coincidence that I've suggested baked beans as a dinner accompaniment 4 times this week! Cravings me? Nooo!

I'm going to request to work from home tomorrow. I simply can't face that bus journey again. I'm off for 2 weeks from next week ( it was due to be my 2ww - who would have guessed id be where i am now!) and I'll be 10 weeks by the time I go back (fingers crossed everything is ok at the scan on thursday) so hopefully the queasiness will have passed.

Honestly MrsH I googled the hell out of '5 weeks pregnant and no symptoms' then '6 weeks pregnant and no symptoms' then I got tired and thought yippee a symptom then it went away and I googled 'waning pregnancy symptoms '! Im glad i can say this and not be judged a loon i darent fess up to that sort of paranoid behaviour in RL. I found scores of people who said that they also had no symptoms except.....and then went on to list symptoms. Also I did 9 tests and 1 hcg blood test and still didn't/dont believe it.

Gosh Kafri I'm afraid you are speaking another language with reflux and pepti! That takes worrying to a whole other level. I'm glad that your DS seems to have settled now. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have a little fella depend on you for everything. The decisions that need to constantly be made. I hope it comes with a manual grin.

Mariana have you had a better day? You are one day nearer!

Keep what did you decide re swimming?

Is anyone else massively constipated from the progesterone (sorry if TMI!) my tummy is so bloated and hard by nighttime it's so uncomfortable. I was trying to do my best ballroom dancing pose tonight but couldn't lift up out of my waist. There was no flexibility in my abdomen. I've only got fanny candles til Thursday. I wonder if I can stop them after the scan. Fairy and dildals when did you stop?
And on that note I will bid you goodnight smile
Night all.

Shaz xx

Kafri Wed 03-Apr-13 06:01:21

Shazza Well - if he came with a manual, i'm afraid my mw forgot to deliver that part when she was delivering him. grin
Believe me, I hadn't put ANY thought into what I would do if my baby wasn't the typical eat/sleep/poo machine you think you're going to get. But, somehow - you just get on with it.
The one thing I would say is that if you feel that something isn't right then persevere with the docs as they are quite happy to simply tell you 'oh, all babies cry, its what they do'. You will just know if there is something not right. For me, it was the endless crying - in my limited experience, no baby I have known has ever cried for the sheer length of time ds cried for. There was defo something not righ and I just had to keep on pushing the docs to listen. Pepti 1 is a formula that is Cows milk protein free so is easier for little tummies to digest. Sometimes, their tummies just aren't quite developed enough and cannot digest their milk properly. Most of the time this will right itself as baby grows and sometimes it is an actual intolerance to something in the milk (dairy allergy/intolerance etc) The Omeprazole neutralises the acid in the tummy so stops it burning when it comes back up the throat.

Sat here now as DS woke up at 4 and hasn't really settled since so now i'm not sure what the hell is wrong with him - he's had a feed, changed his bum etc so trying to settle him without 'playing'. don't want him in the habit now of thinking 4am is playtime!!


Dildals Wed 03-Apr-13 08:01:08

shazza was wondering whether this orange juice craving (plus your baked beans) are to do with iron intake. Taking vitamin C improves iron uptake and lots of pregnant women are deficient in iron. Just a thought. I am still heavy on OJ, no ice cubes for me.

The sleeping on the left is to do with compressing the liver I think, i did read that somewhere, not so much of an issue if you are still in the early stages of pregnancy.

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