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My husband has gone AWOL - am 34 weeks pregnant

(88 Posts)
CareerGirl01 Fri 29-Mar-13 17:28:21

DH has history of depression and self medicating it - he binge drinks then is teetotal for long spells. He started a new job back in Novdmber and has been having issues (the normal ones you get in a new job) but he can't cope and on Wednesday morning he went off in our car and hasn't texted or called. He had been drinking the night before. We have a four year old DD.I'm feeling hopeful at the moment but come bedtime (DD's) I'm going to feel terrible. My nan died last week and we had her funeral yesterday. I'm wondering if my preggie moaning has driven him away. Btw - for mist of time together IVF been main breadwinner - I don't think he likes the current role reversal.

babyradio Sat 30-Mar-13 20:48:58

I am so glad he is home safe. Sick leave as someone else has suggested is a good idea. I hope it all works out.

thewhistler Sat 30-Mar-13 21:05:34

Ditto glad about his return.

Where did they find him?

Yes, emergency nhs to get things sorted over the weekend.

LetMeAtTheWine Sat 30-Mar-13 21:36:57

Oh, what a relief! You must be so pleased. It will be hard but getting professional help is the important step and give you the best chance of getting through it.

I wish you all the very best and hope you manage to get things sorted.

BabyHMummy Sat 30-Mar-13 21:54:34

Slightly off the wall suggestion butmaybe show him this thread? I know a couple of the posts may not help but a lot of people have offered support and understanding from their own perspectives and to are heia not alone in what he ia feeling may help nudge him in the right direction

PacificDogwood Sat 30-Mar-13 22:35:53

Oh, thank goodness he's back in one piece - I am very, very glad for you and him smile.

I agree, he likely needs more than counselling.

Hope you both get a night's sleep, have a peaceful Easter weekend and then tackle what needs tackling next week xx.

Saundy Sun 31-Mar-13 10:19:02

I'm so pleased Career, what a relief.

I know it is only one small part of the problem you are having but DP also hates his job & I worry about the impact on his health. To try & offer some light I've made him a deal that if he just lasts the year he can take over my maternity leave at the earliest possible point & use those months to find another job & so never go back. It makes sense for us financially as I'm the main earner, plus I like my job & don't want too long out.

Clearly you have a lot more than that to sort out but it will be lots of small steps to do so.

I hope he gets the help that he needs and you can all move forward together.

Good luck x

CareerGirl01 Sun 31-Mar-13 12:05:35

DH is sleeping while we go off and have a roast lunch with friends and family. Is so good to know there are people who care and understand - hugs to everyone.

thewhistler Sun 31-Mar-13 22:47:41

I hope you had a good time and a nice meal, which will have set you up for whatever the next few days bring.

And I hope it was a happier Easter, whether or nor Easter is your thing, better than the alternative anyway, and maybe the bunny arrived for your dc.

Bunbaker Mon 01-Apr-13 12:07:46

I'm so glad your husband is back in one piece.
If the police have been involved it may help fast track some psychiatric help.

CareerGirl01 Mon 01-Apr-13 14:14:51

Thanks whistler and bun and everyone else. DH told me some stuff last night that explains why he went off the rails. We are going to see GP tomorrow and he's going to see about getting signed off sick. We are having a normal day today. Sadly my morning sickness has come back - am 35 weeks on Wednesday and have appoint with the consultant when he will give me date for ELCS. I'm not sure the indigestion/heartburn and sickness has come on because baby has dropped or is the result of having been stressed; I did manage to eat during the last few days but not so much today.

thewhistler Mon 01-Apr-13 17:18:31

Poor you, it's foul.. but not long now.

And if he is talking, that's many men don't ever.

Hope gp goes well.

BabyHMummy Mon 01-Apr-13 20:40:13

That's brill news on your dh career so pleased that he is opening up and prepared to see Gp etc. Here's hoping its the start of him getting it under control and getting better.

I should think the sickness is the stress which hopefully should start to ease now he is getting help. Sending you huge hugs Xxx

DisAstrophe Mon 01-Apr-13 21:02:28

Glad he is back and willing to go to GP. I agree with those saying he needs your support. But it can't be unconditional. He must take GP's advice on drugs and counselling. And he must set up a joint account for his salary. Deliberately depriving your family of available money is not acceptable however ill you are.

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