Ways To Excuse Not Drinking?(30 Posts)
I'm only a few weeks pregnant with my first child, and my husband and I don't want to tell anyone yet. However, we plan to visit his parents over Easter, and when we visit, there's usually a small amount of drinking involved, e.g. a drink before supper or possibly a bottle of wine for the table one of the evenings. I'm usually pretty enthusiastic about this , so if I just say I don't want any, it truly will raise eyebrows.
Does anyone have tips? Excuses you used? Creative yet believable white lies? I'm usually honest to a fault, but I'm really just not ready to tell people yet.
Antibiotics are always a good one! You could start feeling a bit ropey from today, but of course wouldn't miss Easter with his parents...
I am pregnant for second time and have found most excuses raises eyebrows! Apart from saying you are driving then moaning about how you can't have a drink but are dying for a G&T...
Instead most effective things I've done both times is to accept a drink, pretend to sip it then subtly swap glasses with DH once he's drained his; or tip it into a plant or down the sink; or put it down somewhere and leave or 'forget' it. I usually find after a couple drinks themselves no-one notices if you are drinking or not!
I agree with festive any refusing usually arouses suspicion. I would accept same as dh and swap when possible. Alternatively a stinker of a hangover from the day before can sometimes pass.
I'm a bit (lot!) of a lush when not pregnant so any excuse I gave would have rasised eyebrows - so being a wuss I avoided nights out with my friends where drink was involved and told our parents at 5 weeks as they would have asked 'ooooh - you're not pregnant are you' and I can't lie without
If they are nosey and will question why you are on antibiotics - maybe come up with some vile toenail fungal infection or (and only if you and husband want to) ... make their Easter and let them in on your fabulous secret!
I used the antibiotics thing for ages. If asked what for, I said it was a girly issue. Most people don't probe any further!
I did the swapping drinks thing with my ex h during my first pregnancy (I had a social life when I was young!).
After we told friends and family at 12 weeks I got catsbum mouths and shitty comments about my 'drinking' over the previous couple of months. Couldn't win!
1. Volunteer you or DH to help with drinks - have spirit and mixer but omit spirit from your glass - this one's great if you can do it as everyone thinks you had a drink so excuses you from partaking further,
2. take it but don't drink - you'll find no-one will notice if you accept a drink but don't actually drink it - to help have a water with dinner as well - you can be thirsty, trying to cut down or recovering yesterdays hangover to explain this if it's not the norm in their house.
If 'I just don't fancy it' won't cut it then the antibiotics one is good. Maybe take some fancy non alcoholic juice with you and gush about how you found it in the supermarket and really fancied it, didn't it sound nice etc and you want to drink that?
Last time I told someone I wasn't drinking as I was on antibiotics my boss didn't believe me and insisted on knowing exactly what for. I just rummaged in my bag and pulled out a few (un-used) sanitary towels and said there do you believe I'm not pregnant now!
Antibiotics is like saying "I am pregnant" with a big flashing sign.
People use it all the time and think that it 'worked' because no one asked any questions. But the reason no one asks is because most people aren't morons and they know that if you wanted to disclose that you were pregnant, you would. I have had people say it to me loads of times and I just politely say how annoying that must be (at a birthday party or wedding or whatever) or that I hope they feel better soon. Then I await the announcement.
The only really reliable ones are not to announce you aren't drinking and to need to drive. The former is much easier at parties as you can abandon drinks, swap glasses, etc. In a family setting, I'd just accept a drink, make sure your husband mixes it and have a mixer like tonic or a spritzer (apple juice gives quite a good colour if you use the right amount) which you can pass off as alcoholic. Or get him to suggest mixing cocktails and mix you an non alcoholic one.
TBH, I think people often guess you are pregnant before you announce. My mum says she could see it in my face both times - a bit of water retention or something I guess. If you don't mind them guessing but just don't want to say then just say you don't fancy a drink and they can have a nice time wondering if there is good news coming.
Say yes to a drink but conveniently leave it places/ tip it into plants/swap for DPs empty glass (he has to be quick and empty his as soon as he can). If you are sat around a table with them you can ....pretend to take sips. Ask for tap water, get everyone glasses and just shuffle your glass of drink around/out the way. I found it you don't draw attention to it people really don't notice! You could even round it off with a 'my I feel tipsy, think Ill give the next one a miss'
I've got work drinks tonight and that is always tricky because people always do a big 'whats everyone having then' announcement before each round...
I was going to say I'd given it up for Lent but they saw me drinking a month ago, so now I'm a bit stuck. What have others done where you can get a drink and then not drink it?
Maybe it will have to be anti-biotics....
Vocalista - Could you pull off having given up for Lent and fallen off the wagon last time?
I could, although they may try their best to persuade me to fall off again... I will have to stick to my guns.
Good plan, thanks!
I think it'll have to be "antibiotics" over the weekend as there's generally not enough, er, activity going on that drink-shuffling shenanigans would go unnoticed
DP's folks aren't nosy, so if they have suspicions, they'll keep it to themselves, which is fine. Hopefully, it'll only be a few weeks before we're ready to tell them.
And now I've got all those other ideas ready for more dynamic situations like with the work-mates, so maybe I won't have to avoid them completely after all, as was my best plan so far
(Also, VisualiseAHorse's suggestion to shut up questions about the antibiotics by saying it's a girly issue made me absolutely LOL. I likely wouldn't be able to keep a straight face, though, and will need to claim something tamer. I think dental problems are a reasonable bet. Unfortunately, that won't be difficult for anyone to believe of me.)
Thanks for the help!
People will suss. The odd glass of wine won't hurt so u could ask for spritzer and get dh to pour it as appletize or schloer
Vocalista - but it's easier to stick to your resolution when we are soooo close to the end date
The other option could be bad back and strong pain killers - this is easier to get away with i think - and could also explain why you might need a lie down, and don't fancy drink etc. No-one can disprove back ache - it is entirely subjective.
all though be prepared for kind MIL to get out deep heat cream and warming packs!
I've been thinking about this over the last couple of days because DP and I are TTC.
I'm going to say, ''I'm on a diet'' if anybody asks. I'll only really have this problem at MIL's house as nobody in the family really drinks apart from me and her, so she loves it when I come over and she has an excuse to crack open the vino
I have found this virtually impossible and as a result avoid all situations with booze and friends. I did manage to hide it in a big group for a birthday as I could order tonic without gin. But smaller groups eg dinner. And drinks with girlfriends, which I used to do at leat once a week, are impossible. We are basically big lushes whose social lives often involved booze, so refusing a drink is faced with incredulity.
I was hoping I would be one of those people who really went off the thought, smell, taste of booze. Sadly I'm not and would love a drink. I haven't indulged. Bah!
Congratulations on the pregnancy!
I would use the diet excuse, but I don't drink much anyway so no one's noticed any difference and I haven't had to explain myself. (I'm 10 weeks).
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