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Anyone else having baby number 2 and more scared about giving birth

(8 Posts)
Tweet2tweet Mon 25-Mar-13 19:49:40

I am 37 wks and really beginning to panic about giving birth. I had a natural birth last time with a 2nd degree tear. It was all too quick to get any pain killers but feel very lucky that it wasn't too long.

For some reason I have convinced myself that I'm going to tear really badly this time and it will last for a lot longer. Am I being completely irrational? Anyone else feel like this? Anyone know whether 2nd births are easier or harder.....

You see I'm all a panic wink

JohnSnowsTie Mon 25-Mar-13 19:59:19

My SIL said this to me before I gave birth to No. 2 (and I was worrying abouy it).

"After No. 1, I was scared to give birth again. But having had No. 2, I wouldn't be afraid to give birth a third time."

Those words proved true to me - it really was SO much easier the second time.

emsyj Mon 25-Mar-13 21:24:55

I had a crash section with DD1 and it was a long road to recovery. I was frightened of ending up either with another crash section or another emcs with a spinal/epidural (terrified of the idea of a needle in my spine - yuk) and obviously had no idea what a normal delivery would be like. As it turned out, my second birth couldn't have been better - gas & air, reasonably quick, no tears or stitches - it was amazing.

I have been anecdotally told by non-expert friends that the main thing with avoiding tears is to listen when the midwife tells you not to push. I listened and was very careful to avoid pushing at this point having been warned about the possibility of tearing at this point by a number of friends. I have no idea how true this is but worth a shot!

hokeycakey Mon 25-Mar-13 21:31:21

Yy emsyj is right my sil told me that too & it was all I thought about dont push don't push & it worked

I was petrified with dc2 I think it's because you know what's coming so its worse but you know you will be fine.... All labours are hard but you have done it before & you can do it.... I am pregnant with dc4 thoughso this could be a case of suppressing memories! Good luck

Tweet2tweet Tue 26-Mar-13 15:14:23

thank you for taking the time to reassure me! I will try not to push unless told- although last time was told just to push with legs up in stirrups and ignore contractions. I am beginning to think that's why I had a tear........

Hop everyone has a good pregnancy and birth, for those expecting!

bunchofposy Tue 26-Mar-13 15:24:56

Yes! I am petrified this time, whereas I was more blaze (or in denial) last time. I think it's worse this time as we know what it can be like! But 99% of people I have spoken to have said it is easier the second time around, so just hang on to that. Chat to your midwife about how you feel though, I plan to nearer the time. I was scared of being induced last time and chatting about it with my midwife made me feel less afraid. Good luck! x

emsyj Tue 26-Mar-13 15:33:53

Oh goodness, stirrups???? Were they necessary, or just for the midwife's convenience? I was leaning over the sofa when pushing and my midwife said baby wasn't coming as my bum was too high and I needed to get more upright - as soon as I hauled myself up onto my knees she was out in minutes. Worth thinking and reading about birth positions, I was upright and mobile in labour and fairly upright for delivery and I think it might make a difference if it's possible to get into the best position.

Good luck, and congratulations!

MiaowTheCat Tue 26-Mar-13 16:25:00

I had such a crap time with number 1 I ended up with PTSD - in counselling and on antidepressants... seven weeks premature, third degree tear, placenta yanked out in chunks, social services referral for getting distressed when they got the forceps out, MIL arriving in the delivery room and pulling up a chair to watch... pretty much anything that could have gone shit went shit. Hence I was utterly utterly terrified with number 2 - had in my birth plan a list of completely random things that were likely to trigger me off into a breakdown.

Had DD2 a week ago today... apart from the 1 1/2 week latent labour and slight prematurity (4 weeks this time - I appear to have a wonky oven timer)... totally different experience - I got all the stuff that I didn't get last time - skin-to-skin, newborn cuddles with a gunky baby, a cot card (sounds daft but last time I got a blood pressure cuff from when she was in the incubator and no cot card really really hurt)... even having to go back to theatre again for another manual "hunt the placenta" party was really bearable - I ended up having a conversation with the staff about Holby City while they were furtling around up there discussing what CD to play in the room!

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