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Shut up about your ruined vagina already!!

(63 Posts)
plannedshock Mon 18-Mar-13 17:48:51

Just that really, I can switch off to the horror stories of labour but its really freaking me out how many women are saying they are ruined down there-I expect change don't get me wrong but I'm being told you end up disfigured and never have sex and can't walk/perch again!!! Anyone had a baby and managed to be normal(ish) down there?

Eletheomel Sat 23-Mar-13 20:12:52

I had a tear during last pregnancy and needed stitches, and afterwards i decided I didn't want to look as I was worried that it might freak me out.

So, I don't know what my 'undercarriage' looks like as I haven't seen it in 3 years - but what I would say is that it still functions exactly the same as it did before so even if its not that cosmetically attractive (and to be honest, i'm not sure I'd describe a 'normal' vagina as that pretty really) I still have a good sex life (although not in this pregnancy as I have no sex drive at all!) and whilst I was really worried about the 'wizards sleeve' issue and concerned I wouldn't 'feel' my DH in there at all, it feels just the same to me (and he's not bothered either!).

There will always be some women who suffer more in these things, but I think thats the exception rather than the rule, I'd work on the basis that everything will be fine, and if its not, well, you can deal with that when it happens.

RatPants Sat 23-Mar-13 20:16:11

Two natural births, no tears, no stitches and not really any different although I have to remember to do my pelvic floor exercises.

KatieMiddleton Sat 23-Mar-13 20:25:19

Well I've had to give up the porn centre-folds but it's otherwise fine wink

Seriously, I had labial tearing first time round and some stitching. It's not the same but it is not worse. I could have a piercing there without the piercing because there's still a small hole in one of my labia. No problems with trampolining, running, sex or anything else. Everything felt totally normal after 5 months.

Second time round I wished I'd done my pelvic floors after the first. Nothing major, just felt a bit dangerous to run or sneeze in last trimester. No tearing but probably because the whole thing was reshaped after dc1. I did have a bit of a prolapse just after birth but it seemed to go back up. If I cough violently I can feel my cervix pulling down but tbh I think that's due to pregnancy not birth and it'll go back up to normal again <squeeeeeezes> No stress incontinence and I haven't wanted to do sex yet but it's been 5 months so if the opportunity arose <ahem> I might be persuaded.

polkadotsrock Mon 25-Mar-13 11:45:23

I must confess- I developed a fanjo tonsil when I was pg with my first and it's never gone away. Odd thing, just inside but hangs when I'm on th toilet. I do wonder if its a hymen remnant. Not really what the thread was about but there you are.
All in all I had a fab labour and a 9lber, minor tear so no stitches and all was well for me. Though I did piss myself on a trampoline a whole year after having him and there being no other 'incidents'...

fatandlumpy Mon 25-Mar-13 14:07:38

fanjo tonsil!


FantasticMax Mon 25-Mar-13 16:04:04

Mine gapes open! I feel sick when I examine myself with a hand held mirror. So I don't do that anymore obviously. I had a 3rd degree tear, forceps and episiotomy. I find it difficult to do my pelvic floor exercises because of the nerve damage the forceps caused. I have a little probe thing that I insert to do them for me. I can still sneeze, exercise, etc without peeing myself though. It just feels a little uncomfortable sometimes. I go from feeling fine about it, to feeling depressed. I doubt I'll ever have another child because I don't want to end up incontinent, just can't face doing further damage to my pelvic floor.

On the plus side sex is better than ever!! So it's swings and roundabouts I suppose.

Chottie Fri 19-Apr-13 03:27:39

I last gave birth over 30 years ago (!) and had stitches both times and everything works just fine (still!).

I would only give two tips
1. make sure you dry yourself well every time you wash - we used to use a hairdryer, but I'm not sure whether that is still recommended, I are sure that a MN will say if it isn't.
2. do your PN exercises regularly, they really help.

It's sad to hear the same old horror stories are still doing the rounds. Just remember everyone is different, good luck and enjoy being a mum.

StiffyByng Sat 20-Apr-13 01:42:03

I had a 9lber too. Second degree tear, no stitches though, and a mild rectal prolapse which doesn't really bother me. I've been told it was probably there before I got pregnant and became more noticeable after my tear. Tear wasn't very painful and healed well. The first couple of attempts at sex post-birth were bizarre but it got better quickly and probably slightly improved on before. Apart from an unfortunate 'looseness' while throwing up in this pregnancy, no weeing issues at all.

dexterpat Sat 20-Apr-13 08:42:58

Had 2 no tearing no stitches etc both boys had 97th percentile heads and I'm only 5.3 - my ds2 birth was really fast 4 hours from start to finish labour started at 1am he was delivered by 4.30am all finished by 5am was discharged and home by 12noon!! The next day honestly the only thing that really hurt was my jaw from the gas and air!! I'd recommend using a jug of warm water for your first couple of wee's tho can be a bit stingy!!

All works fine after I'm pg with no3 !!

picnicbasketcase Sat 20-Apr-13 08:46:05

Episiotomy with first DC, healed perfectly. Slight graze from second, no stitches required. It's not a foregone conclusion that you'll end up with raggedy bits. Don't listen to the doom and gloom pedlars.

picnicbasketcase Sat 20-Apr-13 08:47:27

Just noticed this is an old thread, ah well, never mind.

OohShiny Sat 20-Apr-13 09:08:41

I had a very deep internal second degree tear, that went down to my anal wall I think (too high on gas and air to pay attention, but do remember the surgeon saying "how did something so small cause so much damage"! shock) I also had a slight tear near my urethra.

My tiny 6lb15oz DD did some damage on her way out as her arm was up by her head!

Nearly 4 weeks after the birth I'm feeling pretty ok. Still a bit tender and I had a look the other day, but can't see anything untoward on the outside.

No idea when I will be ready to try sex again, but I can pee fine and poo almost normally. (Need to do more pelvic exercises, think I damaged my pushing muscles getting her out as it feels a bit strange when I push)

I second the need for an inflatable cushion. I wish I'd had one, but that would have been more for the massive piles I was graced with, which I think, hurt more than my stitches!

EcoHippyMum Sat 20-Apr-13 09:25:30

I just asked DH as its my second marriage and will be his first child and my fourth and he reckons I don't really look any different to anything he has viewed before, so I am pretty sure mine is fine ;)

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