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Anybody else less than 12 weeks keeping it a secret?

(27 Posts)
Bumbolina Mon 18-Mar-13 12:51:13

When actually, I'd quite like to tell EVERYBODY!! I'm only 5 weeks pregnant though, and it's kind of looked down upon!
I've miscarried previously so I know what it is like to tell people it isn't happening... but I still want to tell people!!
Mustn't though. My hubby isn't a talker grin

biscuity13 Mon 18-Mar-13 12:57:26

I'm 6 weeks with my first and we've told parents and both our sisters and their partners but nobody else yet. I wanted to tell close family as I would want their support anyway if something were to go wrong. But I am not planning to tell anyone else just yet, certainly no one at work until after 12 weeks. I really want to tell my best friend but am worried about having too many people to break the news to, were something to go wrong. I'm seeing another friend on Friday night and I know she will ask me how things are going as we have talked about TTC loads before! I'm still debating whether to tell her as I don't think I can lie!! I'll be glad when it is out in the open though as it feels weird having this massive secret but nobody knowing!

Bumbolina Mon 18-Mar-13 13:03:06

I'm truly terrible at secrets. I had a mmc for my first - and I really appreciated the support of those that I had told, which is why it feels a bit strange not to tell people.
When I was preggers with dd1 I was so sick I had trouble keeping it secret past around 9 weeks, though still only told family, best friends and boss (as was too sick to manage some tasks involving food!).
This time the sickness isn't too bad (yet) - which is worrying me, therefore I don't know whether to tell people or not as I'd like the support if I did lose it! I'm a person that likes to talk!

Loftyjen Mon 18-Mar-13 13:07:06

Same here, 6wks yesterday & have known for 2wks (felt weird wk before period due so by time AF due was bursting to do test!!).

Had to have a TFMR in Nov & had been indiscrete and told lots of workmates/friends - was glad of support when it all went t*ts up, but it upset DH and at his request I've reined it in but it's hard!

Had a meet up with our NCT group yesterday (DD is 2.5yrs) and took all my strength to not say anything. Got scan booked for 30th April - am counting the weeks!!

PseudoBadger Mon 18-Mar-13 13:09:47

Yes, 9+3 and haven't told anyone apart from dp as miscarried last time - not even my parents who we live with!

Kelly1814 Mon 18-Mar-13 14:04:45


I'm 10 weeks and not told a soul apart from husband. no plans to tell anyone until at least 12 week scan. superstitious plus don't want all the endless questions and nosiness at work.

i live in the middle east where pregnant women are a source of fascination, comment, judgement.

am almost dreading telling people - i am a very private person and just like to keep these things to myself.

clattypatty Mon 18-Mar-13 14:09:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

C0smos Mon 18-Mar-13 14:18:03

13 weeks here and not told a soul apart from my gym trainer and the dentist. We are going away with friends at the weekend and will no doubt tell them as we'll be in the pool and I look pregnant, will probably tell parents next weekend. Work can wait for 16 weeks as long as the bump stays discrete!

I'm also very private and don't like people knowing my business.

Bumbolina Mon 18-Mar-13 14:23:13

Loftyjen - that is exactly how I feel. I meet up with my NCT pals every week, and would love to tell them! But... decided not to.

I wouldn't say I'm superstitious as that would imply that telling a few people played a part in why I lost my first babies... and logic tells me that isn't the case.

Loftyjen Mon 18-Mar-13 17:11:42

Was so tough, especially as one of them is pregnant at the mo too (but 20wks now) & another did tell us early on :-s

My Mum knows & my best mummy friend (her DD is my DD's best mate) as she's pregnant too & I was meant to be the one going on rides with the girls on a trip to the local theme park (now planning to drag DH's along!).

I did end up confiding in one friend at the w/e partly as we were off to a school reunion & wanted help covering my non-drinking, but also as she works in a pharmacy in my hometown & I wanted to tell her about the appalling service I'd had in her supermarket based competitor (tried to refuse to sell me anti-histaminesconfused).
But as she's 70 miles up the road & doesn't know any of my other friends/see my family think I'll be ok wink

glossyflower Mon 18-Mar-13 17:17:34

On my first pg, and I was 6 weeks pregnant when I got married so as we had all our friends and family present (something that rarely happens!) we told everyone at the wedding.
A few days after wedding had severe HG so could not have hidden it if I wanted to!
Plus I hate keeping secrets and couldn't have kept it in much longer.

I'm not particularly superstitious, I think most people realise its early days if you tell them early and anything can happen and miscarriages are fairly common (usually before the woman knows she's pregnant) and more often than not a miscarriage occurs because the embryo hasn't developed properly.

RJM17 Mon 18-Mar-13 17:27:35

I am 5 weeks and we just told our parents this weekend. We are having a scan at six weeks which is the week before Easter so think we are going to tell our close friends at an Easter BBQ we are going to. Mainly because they will know as soon as I say I'm not drinking haha.
We had a miscarriage previously and it was great to have the support of the people we had told so I would personally always tell early I think. But especially with having an early scan as we can check the progress before we do x

JanieLovesCake Mon 18-Mar-13 18:00:29

congrats everyone on your BFPs! we are trying to hold off telling anyone until the 12 week scan - i had a mc in october and i couldn't have dealt with the 'pity'. i have only told my best friend but she lives about 300 miles away and we've been there for each other through each of our miscarriages.

my main problem is that i'm going on a 2 night hen do this weekend - oi know the hen (who knows about my past mc) and 2 other girls who i am close-ish to but not close enough that i want them knowing. i need tips on how to manage with the no drinking thing - they know i love to party and it will be mega strange for me to not be drinking. last weekend i pretended that i had a hangover from hell and would never drink again so i could maybe keep that one going?! don't want to travel with a hangover etc etc?!?!?!

Bumbolina Mon 18-Mar-13 18:05:39

With my first I ordered lots of wine - but kept leaving it places or danced wildly so that it spilt on the floor grin Everyone else got drunk and eventually didn't notice!

RJM17 Mon 18-Mar-13 18:24:04

Janielovescake...With the hen do thing I went to a party and said I was on antibiotics. There are a certain type (I've forgotten the name) but they tell u not to drink for 48 before or after taking them cos they make u violently ill. They are used a lot for gynaecology problems so u could always use that excuse xxx

Loftyjen Mon 18-Mar-13 18:28:20

Metronidazole is the evil anti-biotic... Common for dental infections as well as gynecology things (some of my friends currently believe I have a bad tooth infection which is heading to needed metronidazole as I slipped up saying I could drive on a night out in a few weeks!)

SeriousStuff Mon 18-Mar-13 19:11:59

It's hard not to blurt it out but will be so much better when you can feel more confident about how your pg is progressing.

We have told close family and a couple of other people due to work or holiday reasons.

I'll have this dilemma tomorrow - having my 12 week scan but will only be 10+5 weeks. If the gyno is happy and they are able to measure and date, we will tell people tomorrow. But if they need to call me back in a week or so it will be very hard...the days are dragging!

JanieLovesCake Mon 18-Mar-13 19:42:01

ah thanks girls!! when i went to visit some friends when i was pg before i actually was on antibiotics as i had a UTI but when i told the girls they said 'you're pregnant aren't you?' !!! and i was on really antibiotics!!! i like the idea of buying drinks and throwing them around haha!!

Tulip2013 Mon 18-Mar-13 20:28:39

I'm totally jealous of those who have already had 12week scans. I'm 10+5 and am already struggling to get into my clothes so am sure everyone just things I'm getting fat. Hospital can't do scan until I'm 13 weeks, which is AGES away. Have to see friends and family at Easter and not sure i can hide the tum!

HopefullA Tue 19-Mar-13 04:35:02

I am also 6 weeks and its our first and we haven't told anyone. i have my sister and friend visiting tomorrow so im sure they will suss it out when im not drinking.

but we want to keep it quiet til 12 weeks but im dying to tell ppl.

I told my pilates guy but thats fine as i dont know anyone in my gym class.... hahah

NandH Tue 19-Mar-13 04:41:31

When I was pregnant with ds whos now 6 weeks old we didn't tell anyone (not even our parents) till I was 20weeks!!!

Bumbolina Tue 19-Mar-13 08:49:58

I'm going to tell my friend this morning. I need at least one person to know or I'm going to go insane!!

riverflow Tue 19-Mar-13 19:49:09

Hey! Congratulations to everyone! I am pregnant too. 4+3 just found out 3 days ago! I am in a similar situation to a few of you, had a mc in October. I told a few close friends and have been discussing the dilemmas of TTC.

The drinking dilemma also rings true with me. I am going out with a big bunch of friends when I go home at Easter. Decided to tell one good friend and her partner. Then tell everyone else that we are just doing rounds between us as it's simpler (whilst they buy me lemonade with ice and a lime).

I also really really want to tell everyone though! We have been trying for 9 months, I am 35 and the GP just made a referral to infertility clinic, so it's super exciting and I just want all my friends to know! I keep hoping that no one will ring me, if its a close friend I know they will ask! I am rubbish at being vague/lying and too excited for my close friends not to notice. Roll on week 12 and hopefully a healthy pregnancy this time.

Hope all goes well for you all.

x x

Madamecastafiore Tue 19-Mar-13 19:51:46

I'm 4 weeks and have told 3 best friends. DH has told his best friend also.

It's hardest keeping it from the DCs. They are wondering why mummy is eating p nut butter on toast rather than spaghetti Bol for tea and why she looks a sort of greyish green colour!

NovemberAli Tue 19-Mar-13 20:01:34

I'm 5+3 with dc2 and feels so early, i don't want to tell anyone yet - i don't think it's really sunk in with me. I love this time when it's just me and DP who know, such a lovely secret to have smile

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