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Is my midwife crap or am I just a hormonal witch ?

(16 Posts)
lookingfoxy Thu 07-Mar-13 07:16:55

Have had a couple of weeks to stew on it.

This is my 2nd time around and have really had a shit time with minor gripes/HG (now away) and im 37 that I didn't have 1st time (8 years ago).

Last time I seen her I said pressure down below was quite bad and I was kind of shuffling when I walked (I was thinking maybe spd/pgp). She said she could refer me to physio but in a way that suggested 'well it won't do any good' and said it was because of my age!!
Also sometimes when baby moved it was hitting nerve in my back and I really could hardly walk for a day at a time, told to take paracetomol.

I said I had thrush, she exclaimed What! Again!

I said I had terrible heartburn and usual remedies not working, she said she didn't want to start me on any tablets for this yet, didn't suggest anything else.

Piles - nothing said.

I came out the place realising no referral for physio or prescription for anything.

Am still quite annoyed but aware im quite hormonal, so am due to see her again in a few weeks and before I do was wondering if this is the norm or should I be more forceful.

She seems quite shit about paperwork as well, finally found a matb1 form for me after much huffing and puffing, now realised im meant to have some kind of medical exemption certificate as well which I haven't got.

EthelredOnAGoodDay Thu 07-Mar-13 08:43:14

She sounds crap. Really crap. Can you see anyone else?

WaitingForMe Thu 07-Mar-13 08:49:23

I saw a crap midwife. She disagreed with my usual midwife and refused a repeat prescription of iron tablets. I just went over her head. Ask to see someone else or use a drop in clinic.

Incidentally you can self-refer at my women's physio. Call your local hospital and ask.

MrsCosmopilite Thu 07-Mar-13 08:52:17

She sounds rubbish. Contact your GP or speak to the local authority and ask for another MW.

Hope you get sorted out and more comfortable very soon.

MrsCosmopilite Thu 07-Mar-13 08:54:18

BTW, thrush remedies - Natural yogurt smeared on and in. Not comfortable, messy but effective. Also try a few drips of tea tree oil in a sink full of water, apply with cotton wool, let dry naturally - or use for a sit in bath.

When I had bad heartburn the doc prescribed me some Gaviscon extra tablets, but I know other MN-ers have plenty of natural (as in things you'll find around the house) remedies. Unfortunately I can't remember them. sad

scriptbunny Thu 07-Mar-13 08:54:50

She does sound a bit crap over-stretched. You could be a bit hormonal too, of course. I had the odd mood swing when pregnant myself... But looking at the details of what you describe:

a) I would pick up on any health professional who makes lazy references to age. I had my baby at 42 and largely met with a breezy, positive attitude to all my queries to do with age. Certainly pressure, back pain etc can't just be put down to a few extra years. I would pursue the physio idea if you can. Even if you just get advice on how to sit/rest to support your body and ease the pain. It can't hurt and it may well help.
b) Double check her on all the paperwork. Make sure she's filling in everything she's meant to fill in. You don't want any kind of incomplete record when you come to the actual delivery.
c) Finally, you're going to have to accept that you probably can't significantly improve the service she's giving you. She is who she is. So, either push for a different midwife, or assuming this isn't possible, focus on yourself, your own needs. Get the help you need from elsewhere. Mumsnet is a wonderful resource. Time spent fuming about her is time and energy better spent on looking after yourself and your baby.

Lots and lots of luck with her. I feel your frustration.


Ledkr Thu 07-Mar-13 08:58:07

My mw sent me home with high bp headache temperature protein in my urine and oedema. hmm neither did she spot dds cleft palate or pneumonia. Some of them really are bad.

Wishiwasanheiress Thu 07-Mar-13 09:01:00

I'm 36. It's not normal to shuffle when u walk preg or not. My dd2 is 6 wks. I didn't at any point. Hard to compare but sounds off.

Phone her boss ask to see new one. See GP. Speak to supervisor of midwives at ur hospital. Not good enough, not BU.

Fakebook Thu 07-Mar-13 09:35:49

I suffered really bad heartburn with DS and someone recommended really really hot milk before bed on here. It worked really well for me. During the day I ate heartburn tablets from boots.

Your midwife does sound a bit crap. Can you change or get extra appointments with the GP for a second opinion? Oh and I shuffled when walking in my third trimester when I was 28, so it's nothing to do with age.

Uppermid Thu 07-Mar-13 09:40:07

Since when is 37 old?!

She sounds crap! Complain, don't accept such poor service. I'm convinced that if men got pregnant they wouldn't put up with half the shit women do.

ButteryJam Thu 07-Mar-13 09:44:18

Unfortunately most of the midwives I have seen are like that. I would suggest you go and see your GP.

The appointments are so short and rushed, there just isn't enough time to discuss everything.

waitingtopop Thu 07-Mar-13 09:44:26

Sounds just like my midwife crap!! I'm 20 and mentioned to my midwife about serious pgp been suffering really badly and she just laughed and said awk the joys of pregnancy.. Mine has got to the point where walking up stairs turning over in bed sitting and standing up has become unbearably painful and she just said I could self refer to physio if I wanted to or I could buy a maternity belt if I thought it would work.. Was looking for a bit of advice on how to ease the pain but got nothing ! Still in pain now with 3 weeks to go and it's only getting worse sad!

Uppermid Thu 07-Mar-13 10:01:07

Of course, I'm aware that maybe she's over stretched, just as good a reason to complain. If nothing's said then authority's will think all I'd fine and they'll keep on with more cuts.

zipzap Thu 07-Mar-13 11:09:03

I had a crap mw 1st time around when I was 35 and she also dismissed my SPD as one of those pg things. I eventually got to see a physio for a few weeks at the end, got a belt, exercises, weekly appts and it really helped. Mw's justification for not sending me sooner was that physio didn't work for some people so why bother hmm. After seeing the figures that it works for most people and an incredibly small percentage aren't helped I was angry with mw instead.

2nd time around, different area, new gp and mw. Felt SPD come on early (10 weeks) so asked mw thinking I would have a long battle for a referral. But no, she referred me there and then and I started a couple of weeks later. Having a belt and physio support from early on meant I was managing it so much better than first time around and had significantly less pain, was much more able to keep mobile in the latter months etc. The early intervention made life so much easier - it's not like the belts cost that much for the relief they give (even if you need to get a couple more as you go through pg as you get bigger) especially when you think about the costa associated with not being mobile!

Definitely try to see someone else and get the support you need - yanbu or grumpy!

lookingfoxy Thu 07-Mar-13 13:10:30

Thanks everyone.
I am not happy with her not helped by having great care the first time round. Next appt I will be insisting on exactly what I need, if its not forthcoming then I will be calling whoever's in charge.
The age comment really pissed me off, I'm not an old 37 quite the opposite.
She seems to be the only midwife at my surgery and only visits once a week.

Uppermid Thu 07-Mar-13 18:47:46


please tell me 37 isn't old!!

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