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SPD/PGP - not sure how much more of this I can take

(15 Posts)
MiaowTheCat Wed 06-Mar-13 15:27:46

I'm almost catching myself praying for another premature delivery - something I vowed I would never ever wish for.

34 weeks pregnant - only got into week 33 last time before going into labour - had what I thought was bad SPD last time... this is in another league altogether. Can't drive (well can't change gear easily which rules out the rest of the driving thing), can't walk more than a few steps without crutches (and only a few more with them) - and can't easily use crutches with an 11 month old this week baby still to push around. Struggling getting in and out of bed lots and in pain all night meaning the sleep I actually get is minimal. Can barely do the stairs (I have to use my hands to help pull me up them) which means for months DD's been taking her naps in the living room in a spare almost outgrown cot (and that means her naps have been pretty short and shit).

I'm at the end of my tether basically - I end up hiding tears of pain from moving DD from the rug in the lounge to her highchair for lunch and there's utterly no relief from anything that worked last time (I had a fairly thorough physio appointment last time - haven't gone for a referral this time as it's a different hospital who basically only do a group chat about keeping yer legs together, plus not knowing if I'll go into early labour again, having an 11 month old to look after and not being able to drive or walk to a bus stop makes it nigh on impossible to get to any unnecessary appointments anyway - hubby's running low on favours he can get to duck out of work to take me to stuff).

MIL is NOT welcome to come and "help" from her previous awful behaviour (she was blaming me for the premature delivery the other weekend and I'm still pissed off at her for that along with other things she's done - like rocking up in the delivery room last time to "pick up some house keys" and plonking herself down proceeding to stay... until I kicked her out), my mother's very busy with local politics stuff - but was coming down every few weekends to give me a hand... that seems to have died a death now - plus she's actually booked to go away when I'd be about 38 weeks - knowing full well we were relying on her to be on standby to watch DD as well and having agreed to that prior.

Hubby's been doing what he can - in terms of taking over when he gets in from work and basically doing all the lifting of DD then - but I'm just struggling so much during the day when he's out. He claims he's trying to get what concessions he can out of them regarding working from home a day or so in the week so he can help with the lifting stuff then - but hasn't been asking very hard if you get what I mean?

The only possible avenue of help I might have is to go and actually live at my parents for the next few weeks - so they're on hand more to help... however that not only has implications for where I'm booked in regarding the hospital consultant, midwife etc and potential delivery (and since I have quite bad PTSD from the previous birth I need that security of knowing I'm likely to be at the hospital we'd picked this time around)... plus it would isolate me from hubby during the week and cost him a fortune in driving up and down the country every weekend (and having to board our dogs each weekend) - we don't have money to spare like that (can't afford any private therapy treatments either)... and my mother can be very critical and cruel sometimes - she tends to moderate her behaviour a bit while hubby's around but it would open me to basically 5 days a week of being called paranoid, neurotic, and picked at over my weight, failed career, appearance - everything basically (and part of a heavy campaign to push me to move my entire life back up there so she can control it - I suspect that's an element of why she's stopped coming down to help and visit to be honest)... but it's literally the only avenue of help I can get.

I'm just at the end of my tether with the pain - poor little 11 month old DD never gets out of the house - all her groups and activities have gone out of the window (I'm sure the local Children's Centre think I must have gone into labour early again cos I've just vanished off the radar) - and that's not good for her - it's not what she deserves from this life either.

Oh and confiding in HV/SS about how much pain I'm in isn't an option before anyone suggests that. Docs prescribed codeine but basically told me to avoid taking them unless desperate - can't even physically get back down there for a follow up appointment since I'm utterly housebound without hubby.

Just venting I guess at hitting desperation point.

Guntie Wed 06-Mar-13 15:45:32

I am so sorry thanks

It sounds like you are in such a bad situation. I don't know what to say, but I didn't want to read and run.

I hope you can get through the next few weeks to delivery. I wonder if there are any friends that might be able to come and help you? Someone who won't judge you but could come and spend a few hours with you in the day?

I'm terribly sorry sad

Ledkr Wed 06-Mar-13 15:51:45

Sorry I know how terrible it is I had it with last two pg and also couldn't breathe with the last one.
I did get some relief from an osteopath as I know many do and I just sat around most if the time but my youngest was 9 so I was able to.
Can you look at what help is available to you and Rota it. Also have you thought about nursery or a childminder for dd?

Ledkr Wed 06-Mar-13 15:53:05

Also ring the children's centre they may offer done help?

MiaowTheCat Wed 06-Mar-13 17:09:01

Sadly our friends around here locally are limited - we really are in this alone. Hubby's work have said tentatively he can work from home one day in the middle of the week which can take some of the physical lifting off me at least. It's just relentless - especially with a relatively immobile (we only cracked rolling recently and are still at the stranded goldfish level of flailing around impressively but not getting anywhere tangible in the crawling department) heavy child (although she was a preemie she flipping well doesn't weigh or look like one now - she's shot right up the height centiles!)

Children's centre brings the risk of social services getting wind of it all - I'm terrified of SS, had a very nasty referral done on me over the birth of DD and have never got over the fear of them getting involved with us again.

Ledkr Wed 06-Mar-13 17:58:25

Gish really? I'm a sw and can't imagine why so horrible??
Poor you. Can you try the osteopath? It made me able to walk at least and I'd also ask for a physio referral too. Crutches can help it a pelvic belt. As for the pain killers I think you will have to take some as you can't go on like this?
Where are you? Mumsneters have been known to rally and help total strangers.

Hawkmoth Wed 06-Mar-13 18:07:56

Agree about painkillers. They said to me they were ok as long as not just before labour as they could cause breathing to slow down. I was on 60mg codeine and then dihydrocodeine for my first pg. Didn't help a great deal with my mobility, but did help the misery of constant pain.

Are you having physio? I went every week or so for first two pregnancies. It never got mended, but every session of realignment bought me a couple of days grace.

You have my sympathies.

MiaowTheCat Wed 06-Mar-13 18:17:15

Yeah - it's kind of arkward with the painkillers as there's absolutely no bets on when I'll go into labour (I'm a day beyond the gestation I had my little girl at - she showed up as a 33 weeker) so I'm really trying to keep it to a minimum. It's really odd not having the innocence of it all to not be able to sit here thinking "oooh I've got X weeks till 37 weeks minimum" but I just can't think that this time around!

Kept the crutches from last birth (had never managed to face the hospital yet to return them) - they help when I can use them, but can't always with having the 11 month old - I've managed to knack the wheels on one buggy already leaning some of my weight on it as a crutch substitute - now using the double-to-be as it's heavier duty so I can lean on it a bit!

And yes, the terror of SS is irrational - I won't put the full saga here cos it's a bit unfair on pregnant women - but it's on the Forceps V C-section thread over in Childbirth as one of the last posts on it.

CityDweller Wed 06-Mar-13 19:18:43

Where are you OP? If you're in London I know an osteo who treats SPD who will come to your house. Probably worth the money, even if it means putting it on credit card or raiding savings, if it'll get you a bit more mobility and pain relief...

MiaowTheCat Wed 06-Mar-13 19:21:03

Unfortunately I'm in the East Midlands CityDweller but thank you for the thought.

louschmoo Wed 06-Mar-13 20:00:26

Hi Miaow, so sorry you are suffering like this. I have had SPD since before Christmas and while it's not been nearly as bad as yours i can completely relate to your feelings of helplessness and frustration, not to mention pain. I have been having weekly osteopathy & acupuncture since this developed, and i have to say the improvement has been astonishing. I still have pain when walking and i have had to seriously moderate my activity level (DS 19 months is a particular struggle as i can't really play with him at all). But at Christmas when this started i could hardly walk and i thought i would be on crutches by now, but actually i can get around farily easily as long as i don't go farther than the end of the road.

Have you tried osteopathy or acupuncture at all? It might help.

I totally sympathies, SPD is just awful and it's so hard to deal with emotionally as well as you just feel so vulnerable. I hope you get some respite soon.

louschmoo Wed 06-Mar-13 20:01:44

Fairly easily, totally sympathise. Stupid ipad/large pregnant tummy combo means i can't type!

Begga Mon 29-Apr-13 13:39:02

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

BabyHMummy Mon 29-Apr-13 14:18:33

Can you get a home visit from Gp??

Also i doubt the centre would involve ss Tbh but they may be able to offer a pick up/drop off service for ur dd. My mate had a serious spinal op when her kids were 2 and 6 months and the local surestart place were fantastic help. They collect kids and dropped them home and managed to arrange all sorts of help for her. i understand the fear side as u say u had bad experience but you can't go on like this hun!!

Sending hugs

Sharles Mon 29-Apr-13 18:42:23

Hi miaow the cat, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through so much. I'm nearly 28 weeks myself and I to is suffering from SPD. I attend physio therapy every week and the realignment therapy that I recieved gives me a couple days of grace. I'm on codeine as well and take it when the pain has gotten too much. I hope it all works out for you in the end and you could enjoy your children.

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