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Scan tomorrow- Partner wont come

(34 Posts)
NoVictim1 Sun 03-Mar-13 20:15:02

Tomorrow is my 20 week scan and partner wont come. We find out what sex it is tomorrow. He really wants a boy to carry his dads name on. We already have a daughter and he says he doesnt want to ruin the experience because he will initially be disappointed if its a girl.
But it will ruin it for me anyway knowin i have to deliver the news if it is a girl.
Should I make him come? Is he being unreasonable?

BraveLilBear Mon 04-Mar-13 11:59:08

Hope the scan goes well today NoVictim1 - have to agree with post above - just don't find out the sex. Checking everything is okay is much more important and is the bit that you need him there for - as well as the opportunity to 'bond' with your bump.

I would be livid if my OH refused to come to a scan for any reason. I have mine tomorrow and we have both taken a day off work so we can have a nice relax afterwards. I hope he went with you in the end.

phoenixrose314 Mon 04-Mar-13 12:38:53

Been thinking of you, really hope your scan goes well today.

I was thinking, if he doesn't care about his wife and unborn child enough to come along and support you, perhaps you could find out the sex but refuse to tell him? At least until he realises it doesn't matter either way?

If anything should be wrong that comes up today (god forbid) he will wish he had been there, and certainly wish he hadn't been so focused on something as unimportant as gender.

Dogsmom Mon 04-Mar-13 12:55:25

Hope your scan went well and your partner did go with you in the end, if the baby does end up being another girl there is a lot of information about gender preference online, it's very common.

rrreow Mon 04-Mar-13 13:23:48

I think gender disappointment is very real and need to be taken seriously and talked about openly. However, it is NOT acceptable as an excuse not to support you during the 20w scan.

At my scan they asked us if we wanted to know the sex. We said yes, but there was the option to say no if we hadn't wanted to know.

NoVictim1 Mon 04-Mar-13 17:53:39

Thanks so much for your concern smile
My mother has never seen a scan before so I invited her to come with me. DH wanted to come in the morning but I just didnt want his stress and I wanted my mum to experience a scan. I already have a daughter with DH so I know he is a fabulous Dad.
I am having a boy!! So as you can imagine he is beside himself with happiness but I will now be making him pay for all the additional and pointless stress he put me through.
He would have loved the child regardless, he even told me this but after loosing his dad to cancer he was adamant he wanted a boy to continue his fathers legacy which is also a cultural name. There is alot of history to it but really I couldnt care less, as long as the baby was healthy. I dont think you can have the luxury to ask for sex either.
Ill be making him pay.
Thank you all for being so kind xx

SeriousStuff Mon 04-Mar-13 18:29:45

I'm glad it all went well and I bet your mum was chuffed to bits. And yes, a few breakfasts in bed wouldn't go amiss... smile

LouiseD29 Mon 04-Mar-13 22:10:39

So glad it went well - congratulations!

katiecubs Tue 05-Mar-13 07:03:41

Well he sounds just delightful.

Having experienced bad news at a scan and being told our baby wouldn't survive I am quite frankly appalled that anyone could be so shallow. Poor you.

phoenixrose314 Tue 05-Mar-13 08:38:34

I'm glad that nothing was wrong at the scan and that you got to share the moment with your mum smile

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