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Last Post - Heavy Drinking Before I Knew I Was Pregnant (have to decide today)

(180 Posts)
tsmith02162013 Thu 28-Feb-13 15:01:59

I appreciate the women who responded to my first thread about drinking (heavily) before I knew I was pregnant.

I have to make a decision today as to what I am going to do- keeping going or not. I am hoping to hear from any woman who drank as heavily as I did before she knew she was pregnant and then went on to have the baby.

When I was 28 days (4 weeks) since my last period, I drank two bottles of wine (standard 750 ML size) in one night. The next night, I had 3 drinks (1 beer, 2 glasses of wine), and the night after, I had 4-5 beers.

I was also drinking earlier that month, usually a glass of wine here or there. What really worries me is the binge drinking, the heavy drinking, the night of 2 bottles of wine.

If I can find mums who had a drinking problem like I did, who drank that heavily before they knew, I think it would be enough to settle my mind. My GP and midwife, who I saw since the last thread, were not very reassuring, although we did see a heartbeat.

tsmith02162013 Sat 02-Mar-13 00:30:44

To be fair, I think what shocked and concerned my doctor was the amount I had to drink ^in one night^- two bottles of wine, by myself. If it had been just a few drinks, I don't think he would have been so harsh. And I do struggle to find any woman who drank as much as I did in one night, before she knew she was pregnant. That's what continues to scare me.

ladymia Sat 02-Mar-13 00:35:46

You clearly did not bother reading any replies to you on this or your previous thread. just on this thread someone admitted to drinking half a bottle of vodka in one night. on your other thread MANY people told you they drank way more than you.

I find it a little bit disrespectful to the ladies that shared their stories with you that you did not even read their replies or reassurances.

Good luck to you.

cece Sat 02-Mar-13 00:54:07

When I had DD (my first) I had a leaving do to fo to and got hideously drunk. Plus a few odd glasses fo wine. A week later I went to a wedding and spent all day drinking. I was about 6 weeks then.

It never occured to me to abort. My GP didn't think it was a big deal. I stopped drinking straight away. DD is now nealry 12 years old and top set for core subjects in Year 7. Doesn't seem to have done her any harm.

AmberLeaf Sat 02-Mar-13 01:03:15

And I do struggle to find any woman who drank as much as I did in one night, before she knew she was pregnant. That's what continues to scare me


2 bottles of wine is nothing.

Yes I know about guidelines etc, but 2 bottles is just not that excessive and many people have said they drank more than that and their children are fine.

Half a bottle of vodka is much more than 2 bottles of wine.

Over the course of an early evening meal and after me and a friend drank 6 bottles between us. That was 13% alcohol white wine.

I was about 4 weeks pregnant.

My son is fine.

At this stage your baby is not sharing your blood supply.

ChairmanWow Sat 02-Mar-13 07:10:04

OP you are obviously still feeling anxious about this. Please, as a PP suggested, read and re-read this thread and the numerous positive replies. I think you should be focussing now on getting some urgent support for your anxiety not on the fact you drank, which you can't change.

Possiblyoutedled Sat 02-Mar-13 07:18:22

Is this some kind of information gathering?
The ops posts seem a little directive especially the first one which almosts puts the onus on posters to answer properly or the pregnancy will be no more hmm the op doesn't seem too interested in the replys either.

Jenski Sat 02-Mar-13 07:47:39

I think Possibly may have a point. OP seems to not be taking in what others have so helpfully and honestly said. I hope this isn't info for a thesis or something! Apologies if wrong though!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Sat 02-Mar-13 08:18:56

If you think that then report the thread rather than possibly making things worse for an innocent person going through a hard time?

TheCountessOlenska Sat 02-Mar-13 08:22:22

Agree with Chubfuddler - no one can guarantee you a perfect baby.

And agree with everyone who has said that both your threads and reactions to posters sharing their stories has been extremely odd imo.

TheCountessOlenska Sat 02-Mar-13 08:23:17

Sorry Fanjo - x-post. I will report and I never have done before but think this one calls for it.

Ledkr Sat 02-Mar-13 09:03:33

I didn't report for that very reason. Not sure. I also suggested information gathering which as far as I'm aware isn't a reports me offence.
I answered candidly at the beginning of the thread.

RobotHamster Sat 02-Mar-13 09:05:16

Amber - I have to disagree with you there. 2 bottles is a lot by most people's standards! Its around 20 units.

Half a bottle of vodka is probably less units actually.

tsmith02162013 Sun 03-Mar-13 17:25:59

I am sad to say that this really did happen to me. And yes, the reason I kept asking is that two bottles of wine is a lot more than half a bottle of vodka, unit per unit. I am sorry though if the title of the post made anyone feel that I was demanding a positive response or I would terminate the pregnancy.

I am in an incredibly difficult position. The medical advice that I received has not been very helpful, mostly because I drank an extreme amount of alcohol. I know "wine" doesn't sound as "bad" as "vodka," but alcohol is alcohol. And the fact is that I drank two bottles of wine, 750 ML each, before I knew I was pregnant, at 4 weeks.

I thought that if I could find more women who drank as excessively as I did, that I would be able to stop worrying. Or at least I would have a better idea of what my chances are.

leniwhite Sun 03-Mar-13 17:48:07

I used to work in a rehab with ladies who drank a bottle of vodka minimum every day when pregnant. Luckily for them not one of their children had any effects from that, so maybe that will put your one binge into perspective a bit? Certainly not enough of a binge to need to base an abortion on, with any baby there is always a chance of cognitive issues, whether mum drinks or not, but I understand how worrying it can be.

Please try and put this behind you and look forward - it's not as if you binged knowing you were pregnant and chances are your baby will be fine!

So to answer categorically YES there are many women who have drunk a lot more than two bottles of wine whilst pregnant.

cyclecamper Sun 03-Mar-13 17:49:47

Wine isn't as 'bad' as vodka. Vodka is much stronger and half a bottle of vodka is twice the alcohol of a bottle of wine (1 unit per 100ml wine; 1 unit per 25ml vodka approx). As various people have said, lots of people drink a lot before they find out, it is not likely to affect your baby early on as the baby isn't connected to your blood supply.

A lot of people drink far more than is healthy generally and no decent dr is going to tell you that it is fine to do so, especially when you are pregnant, but most babies are fine and were fine in the old days before there were so many guidelines. As someone said, no-one can guarantee that your baby will be fine, but the probability is that it will be.

MajaBiene Sun 03-Mar-13 17:53:49

What did your doctor say to you that has worried you so much?

stargirl1701 Sun 03-Mar-13 17:59:01

OP, where do you live? Are you in the US?

lucybrad Sun 03-Mar-13 18:18:01

loads of people on here have said they have drunk loads and then found out they are pregnant. I did too, it was xmas and new years! Stop worrying. It was too early for it to get to the babys blood stream. We all keep telling you over and over again. If people got FAS from doing similar to what you did, the country would be full of it. It very rare! and the result of excessive consumpton throughout pregnancy.

This is definately NOT a reason to terminate. The anxiety you feel now is a normal symptom of your early pregnancy. STOP WORRYING. thanks

janek Sun 03-Mar-13 18:19:39

Two bottles of wine at 12% is 18 units of alcohol. Half a bottle of vodka is 14 units, but i bet by the time they were that far down the vodka no one was measuring and it's likely to be more than 'half' rather than less, so essentially the same amount of alcohol was imbibed, or vodka-drinker potentially had more...

Fwiw i really wouldn't worry. Your baby will be fine. And i think your gp is acting immorally causing a pregnant woman so much stress that she is considering aborting. Aren't doctors duty-bound to preserve life? That's not what he/she is doing!

I understand your anxiety, but i bet you find, as the pregnancy progresses, and you can see things are normal you will start to feel better about it.

curiousgeorgie Sun 03-Mar-13 18:23:50

I went skiing in January 2010, drank actual pints of wine, copious shots, had a whole bottle of dooleys with a friend... Literally drank from 11am till the early hours, everyday for a week. I also had a particularly bad fall that knocked me out for a second and had me sliding halfway down a mountain... Which Really hurt.

When I got home I found out I was pregnant.

She was born later that year and is 2 and a half now. She is so amazingly bright and brilliant. Just today I was told how great her speech is... She can count and read numbers (even no consecutively) to 30. She knows all shapes, colours, heavy / light, big / small... She can read the alphabet and is learning phonics really quickly.

You drank a hell of a lot less than I did and it certainly didn't do my DD any harm!!

tsmith02162013 Sun 03-Mar-13 20:16:12

My doctor is not advising me to have an abortion. What he said is that he has no idea what the impact of the heavy alcohol consumption will be. He said that there are women who have had babies who exhibited the effects of fetal alcohol exposure from heavy drinking similar to mine, in early pregnancy.

He did say that if it had been two glasses of wine instead of two bottles of wine, he would tell me not to worry. He said that we "might" still be fine but that there is no way to tell, but there is no way to quantify what the chances might be.

I know that there is no guarantee for a healthy baby. Perhaps my doctor is being cautious. But if I had no reason to worry, why would he not just say that? And why would he raise the notion that there are other women who did what I did (drank that heavily before they knew) and harmed their children as a result?

I did have an appointment for a termination scheduled for Friday (a few days ago), but I cancelled. I am not ready to make this decision either way.

mylittlepuds Sun 03-Mar-13 20:20:35

I think you need to get a second opinion. I'm no doctor but I'm sure I've read that FAS is from prolonged exposure, not a binge? I could be massively wrong though.

lougle Sun 03-Mar-13 20:34:35

tsmith my baby was born with an (as yet, undiagnosed) condition. She's 7 now and she is a delight, she goes to special school.

One of the first questions I was asked when the Paediatrician saw us at almost 3 years old was 'how much did you drink in pregnancy?'

The answer was 'not a drop'. I don't drink...I don't like the taste, so I never have alcohol.

There isn't always a good reason why babies are born different.

I know some children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. They are adopted because their parents were so completely unable to look after their children because of their addiction to alcohol.

Honestly, it's so unlikely.

bluer Sun 03-Mar-13 20:39:11

it is wrong that you are using a forum like this. You need to get professional medical advice and help. It is unfair to ask opinion and then ignore most advice given and mention termination etc.

It doesn't matter how much you drank at 4 weeks PG, because none of it got to the foetus.

The placenta hadn't formed yet, and your alcohol-laden blood wasn't shared.

I'm surprised your doctor didn't mention that. Have you stopped drinking now?

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