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In Agony - Did Anyone Else Binge Drink Before They Knew?

(107 Posts)
tsmith02162013 Sun 24-Feb-13 08:07:05

I am absolutely out of my mind with grief and need advice from real moms. The doctors I have spoken to have been so dismissive of my concerns, but everything I have read (and ever fiber in my body) tells me that something is WRONG.

I did not know I was pregnant. At what we now know to be four weeks (exactly) into the pregnancy, I drank two bottles of wine BY MYSELF in one night, over 5 or 6 hours. I was not sick at all, and I had no problems the next day. So, I drank more the next day- 3 drinks. And then I drank again the next day- 4 drinks.

I realized I was supposed to start my period the day after that, and to just put my mind at ease, I took a pregnancy test, which was POSITIVE.

My doctors say that they don't have enough data on binge drinking in early pregnancy, but they think I am probably fine. I just want to know if there is ANYONE who has had as much to drink as I did at 4 weeks pregnant and then went on to have a healthy child. I am SO SCARED of having caused permanent brain damage to the baby, and I am seriously considering abortion because I feel like this is a hopeless situation.

mrsdicaprio Wed 11-Feb-15 20:23:26

Oh op I do feel for you the guilt is awful!

If it helps.. Ds1 was unplanned and the weekend before I found out I was pregnant I had had a heavy weekend of nights out with the girls. The night before my positive test I had started on sangria, moved on to wine then cocktails and ended up doing sambuca shots. I didn't touch a drop once I found out..

He is sleeping soundly in his bedroom and was absolutely fine!! Good luck wink

originalusernamefail Wed 11-Feb-15 16:06:57

I haven't read the whole thread but, before DS I had had trouble conceiving (been just in case abstinent for SIX months just in case) I was then diagnosed with a fertility problem that would take 12-18 months of treatment just to put me on an even keel with "normal people".

I was told all this Dec 2012 and I must admit I thought fuck it.... If I can't be pregnant I will be DRUNK....which I merrily continued over Xmas and new year. Jan 2013...BFP 3+ on digital. DS is fine but the wait was agony and I must admit searching his face for FAS landmarks when he was born.

thanks Don't be so hard on yourself OP

Stinkersmum Wed 11-Feb-15 15:59:41

When my SIL found out she was pregnant, we realised that she had been pregnant over my birthday bender - 11am until approx 3am the next day. That then bunch of cells is now a thriving 7 year old little madam, and the pregnancy was trouble free. Don't beat yourself up!

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Wed 11-Feb-15 14:25:26

I'm so glad I found this thread! I have been beating myself up for a drunken evening out (5 vodka and diet cokes) on 3 December with a work party and the fact that I was eating rubbish and smoking right up to the day that I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. I wasn't TTC, so couldn't have known any better.

I was also, unfortunately, put on some antibiotics that you are not advised to take if you are pregnant before I knew. Numerous people (GP, MW, OBGYN) have told me not to worry about any of this stuff and that a lot of 'medical' advice is really alarmist because: (i) not enough studies have been done because they cannot ask pregnant women to drink/take drugs as part of a study; and (ii) they want to frighten people who would otherwise be blase.

happygojo Wed 11-Feb-15 08:51:20

From what I have heard/read, the risk of drinking to your pregnancy is if you drink regularly and heavily for the 9 months. I really wouldn't worry! the first 10 weeks of your pregnancy are pretty much predetermined, regardless of what you do or don't do.

I take it now you are being healthy?

My doctor even told me to have a few drinks over Christmas! (i didn't because the smell turned my stomach) and I was 6-7 weeks preg!

Please don't panic or do anything you might regret later

geek87 Wed 11-Feb-15 03:35:09

When I found out I was pregnant with my son I was just over 1 month gone. In that month I had been out drinking a lot with friends (having no idea I might be pregnant) I also smoked at the time! The day I took my positive pregnancy test was the day I stopped drinking and smoking. I had a beautiful healthy little boy who is now 3 years old and very intelligent. The only problems I had was during pregnancy and that was with myself having a low platelet count meaning I was on standby for a blood transfusion during labour. Something I will apparently suffer from in every pregnancy.
Also my friend found out she was pregnant @1month also. In that time of not knowing she had her 21st birthday, Christmas and New year's eve worth of drinking! Finding out 2 weeks after...she has and amazing 5 year old girl and gone on to have a wonderful boy (2.5 year)
I think you will be fine hun. Loil after yourself and your bump and you will be fine xx

luckiestgirlintheworld Tue 06-Jan-15 16:39:29

Ooh I'd be interested to hear an update from the OP...

BikeRunSki Tue 06-Jan-15 08:39:12

Typically of many others on here, I had a very boozy new year with my brothers a few years ago, not knowing I was 3-4 weeks ph. Got bfp on 17 Jan. DS is completely fine, big, strong, bright 6 year old.

Faffyduck Tue 06-Jan-15 03:27:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShannonW8753 Tue 06-Jan-15 02:01:43

Here's some research that should calm everyone's mind, too. (Also, apologies that I'm posting 2 freakin' years after the OP initially posted!).

ShannonW8753 Tue 06-Jan-15 01:49:28

Didn't know I was pregnant with my son and binge drank at a cookout (about 3-4 beers over a 4-5 hour period). He's now 9 years old and absolutely freakin' brilliant. Yes, he was diagnosed with very mild Asperger's (Autism Spectrum) but I highly doubt it's related. He's so "normal" or neurotypical. His IQ score is VERY high, he performs at least 2 - 3 grade levels above and most of his Asperger challenges, like managing his mood, executive functioning, etc., he manages very, very well. Occassionally, I ask myself if I contributed to his Aspergers and my answer is always "I highly, highly doubt it." Some things in life you can't control and should just quit worrying about them. Good luck!

GingerDoodle Mon 25-Feb-13 20:20:44

I would calm down. I took the approach with my pregnancy that what will be will be (obv whilst being sensible once I knew!).

I got pregnant over xmas/ new years/ early jan - and I got well and truly hammered. i drank a bottle of toffee vodka on my own on NYE, not to mention considerable amounts of wine and champagne on a family dinner a week before I found out (I was late and had tested by it kept coming up neg).

DD arrived a week early with a quick labour at a bonny weight and is a happy healthy 5 month old (in 2 days).

NatashaBee Mon 25-Feb-13 14:14:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatnameforme Mon 25-Feb-13 13:56:27

I did this with my two youngest!! One is 4 years and the other 4 months. They are both fine and I was drinking quite a lot more than you had, and spirits rather than wine. I'm sure everything will be fine. Hope you can put your mind at rest.

Acandlelitshadow Mon 25-Feb-13 13:47:58

I drank shitloads of wine the weekend before testing for first dc. I did feel mightily guilty at having potentially pickled him but all was fine.

He's now 6ft 3 and has just celebrated his 21st grin

rockinhippy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:43:38


Turniphead1 Mon 25-Feb-13 13:42:20

wink Rockinhippy! Now there's a study no medic wants to carry out eh!
Glad your DD is a happy healthy smart cookie too.

rockinhippy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:40:30

LOL Turnip mine is G&T too, as is the DD of someone else we know who was also at the same very hardcore NYE party & also didn't realise she was pregnant , we've joked for years thats the reason our DDs are G&T

Turniphead1 Mon 25-Feb-13 13:36:11

I conceived my DD1 during prolonged 30th birthday celebrations ie when I was about 4 week pg it turned out. serious partying iykwim! My DD is now 10 and supposedly "gifted and talented" whatever that means. Well she's very smart and has not in any way been affected by a shed load of booze etc when she was a dot. Like others I felt premenstrual & beginnings of cramp so thought I was getting my period.

Honestly, as others have said FES involves sustained drinking throughout pregnancy. Someone told me that at this early stage before the umbilical cord has formed substances isn't even pass (but not sure if that s true...).

rockinhippy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:28:14

I did far far worse, way more drink & a smattering of drugs too - it was though Xmas NYE after all & I always did like a party & it was party season, with lots to go too & free drink too - too worried myself sick when I found out later I was pregnant - no need, DD was & is absolutely fine smile - I didn't drink again through my pregnancy once I knew though

My friend though was a different matter, but she went through hell & lost her DM & partner during her pregnancy, she turned to drinking very heavily to cope & drank through most of her pregnancy - she lost her baby due to health problems at only at a few weeks old sad

so in short I think drinking a bit too much early on when you don;t know you are pregnant & then being sensible for the rest of your pregnancy wont harm at all, so try & relax, if there is anything wrong now, it will be one of those things & nothing you have done - CONGRATULATIONS & try & relax & enjoy your pregnancy, thats far better for your baby & you

rrreow Mon 25-Feb-13 13:26:00

Yep. Probably around 3 weeks. Got horribly drunk, including throwing up and everything (I am not even a heavy drinker usually or a partier, I go out and get drunk maybe once a year!).

Was massively reassured at the time (after panicking obviously!) by reading people say that at that point the embryo hasn't implanted yet, so there is no actual blood supply between you and it.

Mixxy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:05:31

I really, really sympathize Tsmith. I'm going through the same thing. I didn't find out I was pregnant until 7 weeks along, and at that time I drank everyday, at levels that would horrify most people. I was on a 3 week vacation: mimosas for breakfast, wine with lunch, afternoon G&Ts before we hit the beers for BBQ dinner or bottles of wine at the restaurant. Every. Single. Day. The rest of the time was spent at a 4 day wedding and an Irish funeral. So don't worry that you were binge drinking- I really was. Obviously I stopped as soon as I found out. But of course, I then went into a spiral of guilt, shame, self-loathing and anxiety. Put myself in hospital 3 times with panic attacks. I live in the States, so the doctors were sure to pile it on with concern.

After week 24 my concern started to fade a little. But by the time week 36 came round I was back to looking at google about 14 hours a day, crying sobbing, saying I didn't want the baby anymore, thinking I ruined my childs life, my husbands life etc. But you have to calm down. You just do. Im now 41&1 weeks, so I don't have a definite answer for you as to my outcome. But I can tell you that the first thing I will check for before fingers and toes, is whether this baby has a smooth philtrum, a flat face etc.

You need to try to calm down. Don't do anything rash yet. I'm going to have this baby in the next 48 hours or so. Would you like me to update you as to how it works out? I know how desperate you feel right now, I really do. And nothing anybody says to you is going to help. But please, stop reading, take your vitamins, drink lots of water, eat some fruit and whole grains.

BonaDea Mon 25-Feb-13 12:16:37

You've had lots of answers already, but I confirm that 3 days before I knew I was pregnant, I got completely trollied with my best friend to celebrate her engagement! It had been our first month of TTC so a) I thought that there was no way it would have happened yet; and b) I had been having faint cramping very similar to what I experience the day or so before my period arrives. So, just put it down to time of the month and carried on.

It was a hot night last July, I had gotten back from honeymoon the week before and we had two ciders each, a bottle of champagne and a 10 pack of Marlboro lights between us. I was so ill the next morning I threw up (not MS - I never had a day of it). Three days later I did the test and immediately was in anguish.

I'm now 34+5, all scans have come back normal and of course although there are no guartantees that all will be well, I think this is very very common. Apart from anything else, immediately after conception the embryo is nourished from the egg sac rather than directly from your blood stream, so the theory is that far less will pass on.

Good luck!

dinkystinky Mon 25-Feb-13 08:45:05

Glad you're seeing a counsellor Tsmith and I hope you have a happy pregnancy from here on in.

DaveMccave Mon 25-Feb-13 07:45:27

Woah, calm down! That's very very common. I had done worse with my last and current pregnancy before I knew. I was told by a GP friend that it doesn't really cross to the embryo the same way in te early weeks as its not 'hooked up to your blood stream via the placenta' if you get me. Really don't worry, you didn't know, and a one off in early pg like that is fine. It's continuous binge drinking throughout pregnancy that is the problem, even then some people find out very late and more often than not baby is fine. your lucky you've found out so early on. Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy.

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