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In Agony - Did Anyone Else Binge Drink Before They Knew?

(107 Posts)
tsmith02162013 Sun 24-Feb-13 08:07:05

I am absolutely out of my mind with grief and need advice from real moms. The doctors I have spoken to have been so dismissive of my concerns, but everything I have read (and ever fiber in my body) tells me that something is WRONG.

I did not know I was pregnant. At what we now know to be four weeks (exactly) into the pregnancy, I drank two bottles of wine BY MYSELF in one night, over 5 or 6 hours. I was not sick at all, and I had no problems the next day. So, I drank more the next day- 3 drinks. And then I drank again the next day- 4 drinks.

I realized I was supposed to start my period the day after that, and to just put my mind at ease, I took a pregnancy test, which was POSITIVE.

My doctors say that they don't have enough data on binge drinking in early pregnancy, but they think I am probably fine. I just want to know if there is ANYONE who has had as much to drink as I did at 4 weeks pregnant and then went on to have a healthy child. I am SO SCARED of having caused permanent brain damage to the baby, and I am seriously considering abortion because I feel like this is a hopeless situation.

WhirlingOut Sun 24-Feb-13 21:36:31

Calm down tsmith! Read the replies and take lots of deep breaths.

I have adopted niece and nephew, their mother drank heavily throughout the pregnancies (one of the many reasons leading to them being adopted), and so my sister has done loads of research into FAS. This is what she told me- the reason they tell you not to drink is because alcohol affects each person differently. However for a child to be affected by FAS the mother needs to be drinking a lot throughout the whole pregnancy, effectively never giving the baby a break from the alcohol.

Having a few drinks in the first four weeks of pregnancy is highly unlikely to affect the baby. So just chill out and stop assuming the worst, seriously.

tipp2chicago Sun 24-Feb-13 21:38:36

We were actively TTC - clomid and all. I was 100000% sure this wasn't our month - only DTD once because of work trips. Went out with neighbours at 4 weeks- drank approx 6 pints and god only knows how many shots. At 5 weeks (long cycle so before test) spent 2 nights on the trot drinking with my sister. BFP in her bathroom the morning after night 2. Kiddo is perfect. 8 months old, funny, cheerful, obsessed with the dog. So calm down. Your baby will be fine.

And ignore all that American crap. The country was founded by puritans and they've never quite shaken it off.

Skyebluesapphire Sun 24-Feb-13 21:41:10

I agree - no risk. read the replies. You sound as if you are totally over reacting. My friend went out and got legless one night at a local fair, got drunk most of the week, like we all did. had been told she couldnt have children. then discovered she was pregnant. Her baby was absolutely fine and the doctor told her that it wouldnt have done any harm.

seriously, get a grip on yourself and enjoy your pregnancy

Chubfuddler Sun 24-Feb-13 21:48:36

I'm actually quite concerned for you op because if you're this anxious about this issue and this early on, you'll be climbing the walls by 20 weeks. Be kinder to yourself and if you want to google something make it antenatal depression - lots of women get it, it's not well known and you sound vulnerable.

TheChaoGoesMu Sun 24-Feb-13 21:49:00

I didn't know I was pg with dc1 until about 7 weeks. In the build up to that we had Christmas and new year, and we went on holiday for a week. During that time I was binge drinking, a lot. I obviously stopped the moment I realised I was pg, and I now have a happy healthy 5 year old.

tsmith02162013 Sun 24-Feb-13 22:05:11

I am so sorry! Thank you everyone who has replied. I was having trouble scrolling through the page and missed a lot of the responses from women who did drink before they knew they were pregnant.

I will try to calm down. I have made an appointment for counseling this week because I clearly cannot handle this without help.

Gingerbreadpixie Sun 24-Feb-13 22:51:53

tsmith - I don't have experience of drinking heavily in pg but I do have experience with extreme anxiety in my own pregnancy (I'm 13 weeks). It's a good thing that you've recognised you're struggling and booked a counselling appointment. You could see your GP and let them know you're having trouble too. And your midwife. You may find this is a one-off issue and things calm down as you settle into your pregnancy. But if it doesn't then it's a good idea to get a good support network around you. Sending you a hug!


DaveMccave Mon 25-Feb-13 07:45:27

Woah, calm down! That's very very common. I had done worse with my last and current pregnancy before I knew. I was told by a GP friend that it doesn't really cross to the embryo the same way in te early weeks as its not 'hooked up to your blood stream via the placenta' if you get me. Really don't worry, you didn't know, and a one off in early pg like that is fine. It's continuous binge drinking throughout pregnancy that is the problem, even then some people find out very late and more often than not baby is fine. your lucky you've found out so early on. Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy.

dinkystinky Mon 25-Feb-13 08:45:05

Glad you're seeing a counsellor Tsmith and I hope you have a happy pregnancy from here on in.

BonaDea Mon 25-Feb-13 12:16:37

You've had lots of answers already, but I confirm that 3 days before I knew I was pregnant, I got completely trollied with my best friend to celebrate her engagement! It had been our first month of TTC so a) I thought that there was no way it would have happened yet; and b) I had been having faint cramping very similar to what I experience the day or so before my period arrives. So, just put it down to time of the month and carried on.

It was a hot night last July, I had gotten back from honeymoon the week before and we had two ciders each, a bottle of champagne and a 10 pack of Marlboro lights between us. I was so ill the next morning I threw up (not MS - I never had a day of it). Three days later I did the test and immediately was in anguish.

I'm now 34+5, all scans have come back normal and of course although there are no guartantees that all will be well, I think this is very very common. Apart from anything else, immediately after conception the embryo is nourished from the egg sac rather than directly from your blood stream, so the theory is that far less will pass on.

Good luck!

Mixxy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:05:31

I really, really sympathize Tsmith. I'm going through the same thing. I didn't find out I was pregnant until 7 weeks along, and at that time I drank everyday, at levels that would horrify most people. I was on a 3 week vacation: mimosas for breakfast, wine with lunch, afternoon G&Ts before we hit the beers for BBQ dinner or bottles of wine at the restaurant. Every. Single. Day. The rest of the time was spent at a 4 day wedding and an Irish funeral. So don't worry that you were binge drinking- I really was. Obviously I stopped as soon as I found out. But of course, I then went into a spiral of guilt, shame, self-loathing and anxiety. Put myself in hospital 3 times with panic attacks. I live in the States, so the doctors were sure to pile it on with concern.

After week 24 my concern started to fade a little. But by the time week 36 came round I was back to looking at google about 14 hours a day, crying sobbing, saying I didn't want the baby anymore, thinking I ruined my childs life, my husbands life etc. But you have to calm down. You just do. Im now 41&1 weeks, so I don't have a definite answer for you as to my outcome. But I can tell you that the first thing I will check for before fingers and toes, is whether this baby has a smooth philtrum, a flat face etc.

You need to try to calm down. Don't do anything rash yet. I'm going to have this baby in the next 48 hours or so. Would you like me to update you as to how it works out? I know how desperate you feel right now, I really do. And nothing anybody says to you is going to help. But please, stop reading, take your vitamins, drink lots of water, eat some fruit and whole grains.

rrreow Mon 25-Feb-13 13:26:00

Yep. Probably around 3 weeks. Got horribly drunk, including throwing up and everything (I am not even a heavy drinker usually or a partier, I go out and get drunk maybe once a year!).

Was massively reassured at the time (after panicking obviously!) by reading people say that at that point the embryo hasn't implanted yet, so there is no actual blood supply between you and it.

rockinhippy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:28:14

I did far far worse, way more drink & a smattering of drugs too - it was though Xmas NYE after all & I always did like a party & it was party season, with lots to go too & free drink too - too worried myself sick when I found out later I was pregnant - no need, DD was & is absolutely fine smile - I didn't drink again through my pregnancy once I knew though

My friend though was a different matter, but she went through hell & lost her DM & partner during her pregnancy, she turned to drinking very heavily to cope & drank through most of her pregnancy - she lost her baby due to health problems at only at a few weeks old sad

so in short I think drinking a bit too much early on when you don;t know you are pregnant & then being sensible for the rest of your pregnancy wont harm at all, so try & relax, if there is anything wrong now, it will be one of those things & nothing you have done - CONGRATULATIONS & try & relax & enjoy your pregnancy, thats far better for your baby & you

Turniphead1 Mon 25-Feb-13 13:36:11

I conceived my DD1 during prolonged 30th birthday celebrations ie when I was about 4 week pg it turned out. serious partying iykwim! My DD is now 10 and supposedly "gifted and talented" whatever that means. Well she's very smart and has not in any way been affected by a shed load of booze etc when she was a dot. Like others I felt premenstrual & beginnings of cramp so thought I was getting my period.

Honestly, as others have said FES involves sustained drinking throughout pregnancy. Someone told me that at this early stage before the umbilical cord has formed substances isn't even pass (but not sure if that s true...).

rockinhippy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:40:30

LOL Turnip mine is G&T too, as is the DD of someone else we know who was also at the same very hardcore NYE party & also didn't realise she was pregnant , we've joked for years thats the reason our DDs are G&T

Turniphead1 Mon 25-Feb-13 13:42:20

wink Rockinhippy! Now there's a study no medic wants to carry out eh!
Glad your DD is a happy healthy smart cookie too.

rockinhippy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:43:38


Acandlelitshadow Mon 25-Feb-13 13:47:58

I drank shitloads of wine the weekend before testing for first dc. I did feel mightily guilty at having potentially pickled him but all was fine.

He's now 6ft 3 and has just celebrated his 21st grin

Whatnameforme Mon 25-Feb-13 13:56:27

I did this with my two youngest!! One is 4 years and the other 4 months. They are both fine and I was drinking quite a lot more than you had, and spirits rather than wine. I'm sure everything will be fine. Hope you can put your mind at rest.

NatashaBee Mon 25-Feb-13 14:14:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GingerDoodle Mon 25-Feb-13 20:20:44

I would calm down. I took the approach with my pregnancy that what will be will be (obv whilst being sensible once I knew!).

I got pregnant over xmas/ new years/ early jan - and I got well and truly hammered. i drank a bottle of toffee vodka on my own on NYE, not to mention considerable amounts of wine and champagne on a family dinner a week before I found out (I was late and had tested by it kept coming up neg).

DD arrived a week early with a quick labour at a bonny weight and is a happy healthy 5 month old (in 2 days).

ShannonW8753 Tue 06-Jan-15 01:49:28

Didn't know I was pregnant with my son and binge drank at a cookout (about 3-4 beers over a 4-5 hour period). He's now 9 years old and absolutely freakin' brilliant. Yes, he was diagnosed with very mild Asperger's (Autism Spectrum) but I highly doubt it's related. He's so "normal" or neurotypical. His IQ score is VERY high, he performs at least 2 - 3 grade levels above and most of his Asperger challenges, like managing his mood, executive functioning, etc., he manages very, very well. Occassionally, I ask myself if I contributed to his Aspergers and my answer is always "I highly, highly doubt it." Some things in life you can't control and should just quit worrying about them. Good luck!

ShannonW8753 Tue 06-Jan-15 02:01:43

Here's some research that should calm everyone's mind, too. (Also, apologies that I'm posting 2 freakin' years after the OP initially posted!).

Faffyduck Tue 06-Jan-15 03:27:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BikeRunSki Tue 06-Jan-15 08:39:12

Typically of many others on here, I had a very boozy new year with my brothers a few years ago, not knowing I was 3-4 weeks ph. Got bfp on 17 Jan. DS is completely fine, big, strong, bright 6 year old.

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