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Pregnancy and stress(7 Posts)
I'm in need of some advice. I'm 32 weeks and had a horrible shock today that my OH has lost his job. Needless to say I'm very stressed and worried about whether my stress has harmed the baby.
I haven't felt much movement today though that's not unusual for me. I've had a tight sort of cramping pain to the right side of my bump though which I've never had before. Could it be stress harming baby?
I know I should try not to stress but without OH's salary I just don't know how we will manage on maternity leave. My income will be low to zero and OH works in a sector where it's very difficult to find work. He will look for anything now but we have bills that we can't pay, mortgage etc and minimal savings that we'd planned to use for me to take ML.
I'm finding it hard not to stress and I feel terrible for baby. Can baby sense it? Can it cause harm? Any advice greatly appreciated.
I am sorry you are having to go through this stressful time. Try not to worry, easy said but worrying about it is not going to help you or the baby. You will manaage - go to citizens advice for help with any debts and face this head on. They will be able to help you.
hippo I'm not sure how helpful I can be, but didn't want to read and run.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your husband. Money worries are really tough, but I'm sure you will find a way to get through it. Lucy's right - you can talk to Citizens Advice and find out what practical steps to take. You will feel better when you know you are doing something and have an idea of how the future will pan out.
Also, are you in touch with the perinatal mental health team at your hospital? They will help you deal with the stress. I am going to see someone regularly about chronic stress and she has reassured me that it's unlikely to hurt the baby. She gives me practical advice and also lets me just talk for an hour and get some of it out.
Also, give the MW a call, explain how you feel, and get some reassurance that the baby is ok - do you have a 32 wk scan coming up?
Thanks Lucy and Gertrude, very good advice. I will contact citizens advice and also talk to my MW.
No scan coming up, I don't think they do that routinely at 32 weeks here. Will just try to stay calm and figure out how to move ahead.
Speak to your bank and see if you can take a mortgage holiday. I think that is a reasonably common request due to mat leave.
Would you be able to take a small amount of mat leave and have your husband as the main carer if he has not found anything by then?
In answer to your question, it's very unlikely that that sort of stress will cause any harm at all to your baby. Chronic, severe stress throughout pregnancy has been linked to worse outcomes, but we're talking women in domestic abuse situations, war zones, severe untreated depression etc here. Most women will go through a few unpleasant shocks in the course of their pregnancy and this is normal.
Just do your best to stay calm, and don't worry about the baby - that's just adding another source of stress which you don't need right now! At 32 weeks he/she is a resilient little beastie. Focus on practical options to make the best of your situation - some excellent suggestions above.
Thanks for the advice euro. Unfortunately our bank doesn't allow us to take a mortgage holiday which would really, really have helped. Even though I explained it's for a period of maternity leave no joy. OH could look after baby so that I could return early but I'm very keen to be the main carer for as long as poss as I know I'll probably be back at work full time when I do return.
twitchy, thanks for putting the stress into perspective. I'm feeling much calmer and more proactive today thanks to all the advice here. Good to know that the stress of the last couple of days is unlikely to harm baby.
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