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Fed up with obsession about weight gain during pregnancy...

(56 Posts)
Mummysaysno Tue 19-Feb-13 02:34:47

Really interested to know what is 'normal'...we live in Hong Kong and I have my weight measured every four weeks, and at 24 weeks am at the high end of 'normal'.
This is our fourth child, my children all were born as 9lb plus babies, and I loose the weight after IF I exercise/eat well just like anyone.
I asked my ob what the focus on weight it GD, he said no, although I'll be tested for that as routine at 28 weeks. In the UK I've never had this obsession with weight by midwives, nor in US.
Like many women weight issues can really stress me out...I hate talking about my weight, hate weighing myself, and am probably about one stone heavier than my ideal weight pre pregnancy. However there have been times I've lost lots of weight, and can't eat, due to being unhappy and valued being 'happy' if a little heavier than I liked.
My question much weight gain is 'normal' for real women who eat and crave chocolate? FYI I just put on 5lbs in last 4 weeks and I think he said 21lbs in total so far.
Thanks for patience reading this!!!!!

ghoulelocks Tue 19-Feb-13 11:42:03

Well I'll be careful never to give birth there! I gained 4.5 stone last time (lost 5 stone over the following year), 3 stone the next (lost all in 8 months) and gained 2.5 stone this time (8 weeks post partum I have 5lbs left of it)

I truely had no control over my weight in pregnancy (I honestly didn't stuff myself, ate a bit more of my normal diet but not the amount you would think), but I now weight less than I did at 20 and have a bmi of 20 so I think I'm proof that not all women are the same and weighing needs to be tempered with common sesne

Mixxy Tue 19-Feb-13 11:45:40

Now maybe this is just NYC, but Ive been given 3 HIV tests during my pregnancy. My husband always raises and eyebrow and ass, "What are you telling them in there?"

catlady1 Tue 19-Feb-13 11:46:51

I'm in the UK, 38 weeks and have only been weighed at my booking appointment, I'm not sure if I'll be weighed again now? I lost over a stone through morning sickness in the beginning, will they take that into account? Like, if I gain that back, am I back at zero, or will I be classed as having gained that much? Very confusing. Well I say "if," I have gained it back now, plus about another stone . I had been gaining very slowly up to about two or three weeks ago, but I've put on about ten pounds since then, so I'm glad I don't have long left!

BraveLilBear Tue 19-Feb-13 11:52:43

I've been keeping a close eye on my weight, because I'm conscious of putting on lots too quickly. I've now gained about 1-2 pounds on pre-pregnancy weight, but about 9 pounds since 11 weeks (when weight was at all-time low following ms and tummy bug).

Technically I've not gained much, but it worries that 9 pounds in 7 weeks is a lot (now 18 weeks) and I'm now eating more. Mw was totally unbothered about this when I mentioned it, and in a way I'm glad they're not weighing me every five minutes. But still, it's on my mind!

BraveLilBear Tue 19-Feb-13 11:55:29

X-post catlady I totally understand the confusion!

Mixxy 3 HIV tests?! Seriously? I'm baffled...

Mummysaysno Tue 19-Feb-13 12:01:59

We moved to NYC when I was 32 weeks pregnant with DC2. My first (male) obgyn did a smear test, HIV test and breast exam. In a panic I moved to a female practice who also did a swab for strep B maybe, I honestly don't remember, but I do remember it was rectal!!!!! And another HIV test. So huge relief when I found a gorgeous natural birth midwife who took me on even though her books were full at I guess then about 36 weeks. Oh and she would ask if I wanted an internal exam at check ups, which I would decline instead of just getting stuck in there!!
I know part of my issue is I don't think there's any choice here in HK but to go along with the poking, scanning, measuring, weighing and the prodding, and as I'm sure this will be our last, I remember wistfully NHS midwife care and lovely home birth in UK with DC3!

Mixxy Tue 19-Feb-13 12:19:13

Oh yeah mummysaysno, I forgot the second vaginal exam for gonorrhea was accompanied by a Q-tip up my arse for strep B.

I keep joking to my sister, 'still negative for HIV' and she replies 'phew! One less thing to worry'.

noblegiraffe Tue 19-Feb-13 12:22:25

What on earth are they looking for in an internal exam before you go into labour?! I also thought you couldn't have a smear when pregnant because it's all changing down there anyway.

Good old NHS, the most the midwife came at me with was a tape measure.

HazleNutt Tue 19-Feb-13 12:26:39

In France, I only got 1 HIV test, but you get monthly toxo tests. That actually makes sense.

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 12:30:40

Do they not check your cervix at all during pregnancy in the UK?

ghoulelocks Tue 19-Feb-13 12:31:57

expat-no, why would they?

Somebodysomewhere Tue 19-Feb-13 12:35:22

Do none of you just say no thank you ?!

Mummysaysno Tue 19-Feb-13 12:35:30

Mixxy...making me laugh!

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 12:35:33

To check for incompetent cervix.

ghoulelocks Tue 19-Feb-13 12:37:33

expat, I know little on this but I would have thought the risk of infection or damage was higher than the risk of incompetent cervix?

sleepyhead Tue 19-Feb-13 12:48:09

Poking about at a pregnant woman's cervix on a regular basis seems a great way to introduce bacteria. Poking at a possibly incompetent cervix doesn't sound too clever either hmm

I guess you'd have to calculate how many otherwise asymptomatic incompetent cervixes were found through internal examination (and whether the outcome was measurably different due to early identification) versus the number of infections introduced by routine internal exams etc.

A lot of "routine" checks in health care are based on little or no evidence. Any decent HCP should be able to tell you exactly why they are doing something and what the consequences of not doing it would be.

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 12:55:34

It was just once at about 18/19 weeks as I recall, seeing that's when you're likely to see funneling if someone has an IC. The problem with pregnancy is that a great many checks are unnecessary if you have no problems.

BraveLilBear Tue 19-Feb-13 12:57:07

Expat - they'd check you if you had a problem, say unexplained bleeding or a possible infection, but certainly not 'just in case'.

I honestly don't know how well I'd cope if there was a long line of 'just in case' internals awaiting me during pregnancy - it's bad enough being examined during labour.

briochedanslefour Tue 19-Feb-13 13:07:44

I just had a baby 7 weeks ago in France, I too was weighed monthly, monthly bloods for toxo, monthly urine samples and an internal exam and mini scan by my gynae at each monthly appt.

I lost a lot of weight at the beginning due to ms then put it back on and then some and got told to be careful with what I ate otherwise id be sent to a nutritionist!! I put roughly a kg per month which he seemed happy with.
Although at my one month pos partum check he prodded my flabby belly and mentioned that id got a few kg still to loose!!

They all seem obsessed here with weight, I feel like a lot of woman here smoke and drink copious amounts of coffee to keep the weight off!!

Ive now got to pluck up the courage to book in for my post birth fannyphysio re-education of my pelvic floor where I get something shoved up there and have to clench along with the dashes I see on the screen!!

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 13:07:58

Well maybe it's all relative BraveLilBear. I spent so much of my time with legs akimbo during fertility treatments that I barely register it happening now. In fact for my 20 weeks scan I started stripping my bottoms automatically and the radiographer was horrified grin

BraveLilBear Tue 19-Feb-13 13:23:12

Lol Expat - this is true - early in my pregnancy I needed an urgent op on an abscess near my anus which required daily wound dressing. I genuinely lost count of the number of people who got an eyeful.

Glad the fertility treatments paid off for you, tho smile

Brioche that sounds so harsh! Definitely a different approach in France by the sound of things!

TwitchyTail Tue 19-Feb-13 14:01:03

Ah, just politely decline. It's pointless and stressful and a symptom of the "doing things just because we can" culture of medicine that is prevalent in much of the western world (luckily not in the NHS for the most part, thanks to it being a bit skint and therefore having to think about WHY it does things).

Pretty much all my friends and family who have had babies gained way more than the recommended amounts on those daft charts (3 stone plus), and lost it all within a year with no particular effort. Healthy eating is great but I personally don't think women should be going hungry in pregnancy. But everyone's different.

fathergoose Tue 19-Feb-13 14:24:16

I'm in NYC and have only had 1 HIV test smile Clearly I look more reputable than Mixxy ;)

Also only had one internal so far (at my 36wk appointment when they do the strep b - which I'm all in favour of: I paid privately to get that done in the UK with #1 and would have done so again), although they'll be doing another one tomorrow (39+2).

Although this is #2 for me and #1 went to term, so I guess they know I don't have an incompetent cervix (presumably you either do or you don't, rather than it changing every pregnancy??)....

Weight is an interesting one though: there's definitely the attitude in much of the UK that it's fine/normal/expected to put on weight whilst you're pregnant, which actually can be quite unhealthy for a lot of women (if you take into account the number of women already overweight when they fall pregnant). Then women struggle to lose it post-birth and end up even more overweight... Not advocating the French body-fascism, but somewhere in the middle might be better...

MisselthwaiteManor Tue 19-Feb-13 16:51:31

I haven't been weighed at all, I was asked my weight at the booking appointment and I could have said anything really.

Lovelylace Tue 19-Feb-13 18:08:13

I have never been weighed in my whole pregnancy here in the uk...

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