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please learn from my mistakes(171 Posts)
i have been reading another thread about special outfits for newborn babies and i thoughtit it might be fun to have athread where people can share mistakes we made when ours were new.
my number one mistakes was buying clothes/babygrows that fastened up the back. wtf was i thinking? impossible to get the baby into and they end up lying on the poppers and being uncomfy.
2nd mistake was buying babygrows made out of velour-they felt all lovely on the outside but insdie are scratchy and sweaty and horrible.l
the day i found out i was pregnant i went out and bought an outfit that was both velour AND had poppers up the back.
it was worn once!!!!
Throughtheroundwindow - you might not have bonded that early anyway - i couldn't keep hold of DD when she wasn't feeding because just being on me meant she could smell the milk and want feeding. i would have been latched on permanently if i'd tried to do that.
actually, I used to get really upset that i couldn't just cuddle her, that she would cry constantly if i held her and didn't feed her.
the only way i got any peace with that was by handing her over to other people. which, in turn, made me feel a failure because i was the only person who she always cried for.
Spend time getting to know your new baby. Unbeliveably I felt guilty that I was spending so long feeding that as soon as DD was finished I felt I should let DH or random visitor cuddle her, or put her down to sleep (as we'd read that you should teach babies to sleep alone from the beginning). I barely spent any time just cuddling my new LO, and guess what? We didn't bond for a long time. I can't tell you how hard it is to not love your desperately wanted baby. I genuinely felt like a failure. I could look at my daughter and think "who on earth are you?". Didn't help when baby friends and DH were all wittering on about how much they loved their new baby.
Basically: tell everyone else to b*****r off during the first few weeks. It's your baby and you are the most important person it their life right then.
On the plus side she learned to self soothe early and even now (at 2 years) is very happy to go to bed.
PS I love her to bits now!!!
Get a car seat base so that you can click the seat in and out quickly rather than having to spend ages trying to strap car seat in each time.
Make sure you have a supply of nappies, vests, babygros, wet wipes, Muslins in your bedroom for night time and downstairs or wherever you are likely to be for most of the day.
Cook a freeze meals that can be reheated easily in the first few weeks, or stock up on takeaway menus, and get any visitors to bring you food!
Buy a dummy even if you are against using them, it might just save your sanity!
Spend as much time as possible cuddling and taking pics/ film of your newborn as they change soon quickly and you'll never get that magical few weeks back.
mrsbugsywugsy amen to that, my ds (1st child) was 10 days early and out in 6.5 hours. Luckily I was very organised and did have my bag ready. Just had to put my make up bag before we set off (never used it by the way)! x
oh yes and to start with I didn't even realise that newborn and 0-3 months were two different sizes
my top tip would be to ignore everyone telling you that first babies are always late, and pack a hospital bag early.
<voice of bitter experience >
I love this thread
24 weeks with my first and although I'm not fretting, there are some really useful tips on here. Thanks
father goose there's one of me with my legs in stirrups and you can see someone stitching my fanjo. what a lovely memory
I spent every spare minute cleaning my house, washing bottles, ironing baby clothes instead of just watching DD sleep or sleeping myself because I knew people were coming to visit.
With this baby I am letting the house be messy!!
The mistake I made with DC1 's sleeping was to think I had to be constantly watching over her while she dropped off to sleep (if she hadn't already fallen asleep on me ) . It's helpful to put babies in the cot awake if possible, so they get used to falling asleep in it.
Sometimes babies cry because they are tired - once you have established that they are not in pain / hungry / wet/ dirty / the wrong temperature, you need to figure out a way of letting them fall asleep without lots of disturbance / getting them up .
We found it helpful to put DC in a cradle by our bed for night sleeps, but in the daytime put them in the big cot in their own room for maps so they got used to sleeping in the big cot.
Fathergoose that happened to me! One of our pics has my blood a eared nether reasons in shot, and the midwifes arm. It looks like she is elbow deep in my fanjo! I wasn't too impressed when DP showed that to his dad!
Ooh - make sure that you notice what 'bits' are showing when you take the photos which will be circulated to everyone/used on announcements. The first ever picture of me with DD includes a lovely shot of my naked, bloody, groin, complete with catheter line... Still beautiful to my eyes, but not the one I wanted my colleagues to see!
Snacks for breastfeeding. I would find myself ravenous at 3am, so kept a stash of fruit & nuts (and a drink) by the bed.
Also, immedietly following birth you'll probably feel
and look like shit. Pre-warn your birth partner to ignore ALL protests and take photos of you with baby anyway. Or you'll end up with none. Like me.
If your LO is short and keeps losing the feet on their babygro, put socks on on the outside. Works a treat!
Top and tail bowls are a total waste of money.
As are shoes/booties for a newborn. They look cute, but I have at least five pairs DD never ever wore.
Research research research the pram/stroller/travel system you're going to get. We (ok, I) bought three different ones before sticking with one (I should add that I sold each one on before buying the next...).
Don't go to mums' groups expecting to meet your next best friend. You might. Or you might just meet mums keen to discuss their babies' pooing/crying/sleeping schedules ad infinitum...
Don't pull a cord in the shower at the hospital expecting it to be the water before checking it's not the emergency cord to call a midwife.
If you're BF buy a boxset or download lots of good books: you'll be spending a lot of time sitting...
Do not pick up your baby when you're so tired you feel drunk. DH did not appreciate having to catch the both of us when I started swaying.
Leave spare stuff - nighties, pants, pads, nappies, babygros etc - on the dining table in case you're in hospital longer than you intended and you run out of stuff. Far easier to give a friend/relly your keys and ask them to pick something up without them going through drawers.
I'm talking from experience.
dont assume midwives can always help with bf woes...
asked for help latching dd on on postnatal ward, experienced mw came, tried to latch baby on, wrong timing, razorlike gums clamped on my blistered nipple
screamed the ward down
midwife stepped back n said 'hhmmmm..... i dunno then....' n went back to work
Onsies with feet - if you are short your baby will likely take after you and they are not going to work.
Thinking that phoning the NCT breastfeeding helpline was a good idea - they put the fear of god in to me - totally unnecessary.
and try and use clothes which are similar colours - otherwise you'll end up with one outfit which won't get washed ie the only red sleep suit which can't be washed with the others. hand wash is OK though as it takes 2 minutes to hand wash baby items (as long as they aren't horribly stained).
when ds2 was a baby we had to borrow Mil's car as dh has been in an accident in ours. our car seat didn't fit her car as she had a merc, and you had to use their own brand of car seat which automatically turned off the airbag when it was used in the front seat . what a pita. the merc garage did lend us a car seat though
posh dress with white collar, on a FF baby.
Not only dad she stain it the same dirty cream colour as her milk being sick, it also stayed damp and made her neck sore.
Velour baby grows on a baby that is always too hot.
Bothering to buy vests- see above
Bothering to borrow a snow suit - see above again.
Buying a large and very difficult to clean high chair.
ooh yes 5madthings - i'd forgotten that! hold something against your bits when you poo!
not just when it's rainjng. we were in the picking up bay (10 mins max), I was empty of iron and really sore and swollen underneath and I could bearly stand.
it took about half an hour before we gave in and decided it just didn't work in our car. I was knackered!
(went in ambulance to hospital and she was strapped onto me in there. that actually had to be explained to me. post natal mummies are a bit stupid
oog car seat!
don't forget to sort one out before you get whisked off to gospital for post birth stutching. the drug /pain addled ramblings about how you have to leave your brand new baby with your friend who might have to feed her because you don't have a car seat can be avoided.
as can your dh picking the cheapest one from argos that was wholly unsuitable for a newborn (no matter what you interpreted by 0+ age) and the car you have so that you have to sit in the back seat holding newborn because it really does look like she's hanging upside down from it.
and then you'll end up borrowing a proper one from your sister.
save yourself the worry by buying one of those carry ones at least a month before your due date
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