Anyone else hate being pregnant and need somewhere safe to whinge?

[BelleEtLaBaby]

Disclaimer 1: this is my 2nd, very wanted and tried for pregnancy. I'm delighted to be adding to my family.

Disclaimer 2: I in no way wish to offend or upset anyone dealing with pg loss, infertility etc who would probably willingly trade places with me and all my grumbles. I do know I am lucky and I really don't want to piss anyone off.

BUT.

I hate pregnancy. Oh, I hate this. I get HG and have a bunch of other issues which mean the whole thing is a slog from beginning to end. I'm exhausted. Constantly vomiting. Bedridden. I'm still carrying my weight from last pg and am only going to look worse after this as I get awful stretch marks and saggy uncared for skin. I can't eat anything except pork chops and chips due to the hg - and I'm a massive foodie in real life, so I'm bored of my food (and bored of seeing it twice!).

We had awful nt results last time (1:2, ds is fine after all) so I am petrified about my scan and will worry continually.

And I'm losing my hair again!

I am so pleased to be having another baby, but the cooking process is something I endure, not enjoy. But I really feel like if I try and sound off in real life I get the following responses:

A. I should count myself lucky to be pg and shut up (usually not from who have had problems ttc, afaik, who are usually lovely. More people who cite other people who have had issues.
B. I shouldn't complain in case I have a mc. Which makes no sense to me - I'm a bit practical and if I did have a mc, I wouldn't associate this with anything I said or thought.
C. I got pg by choice so it's 'self inflicted'.

Well, even if all those people are right, I'm still sick as a dog, and don't enjoy my pregnancies like others do. Can I make this Fred a safe place to have a waaaaah without getting flamed? Please?

Waaaaaah :)

[BelleEtLaBaby]

[lucybrad]

its fine to be fed up if your having a tough pregnancy - especially when others seem to sail through with not so much as a symptom. Not fair!

[glossyflower]

Belle my lovely, complain all you like that is what we are here for!
I feel the same. Other than feeling my baby growing and moving around in there I have not really enjoyed pregnancy.
This is my first one, all my friends and family seem to have had enjoyable experiences.
Not me.
I had severe HG in which I was housebound for ten weeks, have slight degree of SPD which is not too bad most of the time but at times I struggle to walk, am tired due to iron deficiency anaemia, the iron supplements are making me feel sick, and to top it off I have a vaginal prolapse which suddenly appeared out of no where. I am 32 and to have this before even giving birth is rare.
I'm still working full time as a nurse, which is getting difficult, and my dad recently has been sick with leukaemia and last year had a bone marrow transplant. Something that's he's still dealing with the after effects.
I have an elderly friend who's in a nursing home that I am financial power of attorney for and having to go to court hearings to deal with his witch of an ex wife wanting more out of him. ...

I am soooo looking forward to labour then it'll be much nicer from them on!

Good luck with yours! Xxx

[talulahbeige]

Im with you, also well done for doing it more than once.
Severe nausea from week 5 to now (wk 34) spd and gd (i blame the food i ate early on due to nausea, jam donuts and bread). I won't be doing it again.

[cupcake78]

I hate it with a passion! I want another baby. Dh won't adopt etc so this is the only way. I would far rather adopt!

I have everything from HG to indigestion, varicose veins to spd. I'm exhausted, hormonal, bad tempered and fed up. I'm only 20 wks.

I have friends who love it, one is breezing through the other although tired is generally ok.

Yanbu to hate it. 9months is along time to be uncomfortable and ill for 24hrs a day!

[3rdtimelucky73]

I don't think you're being unreasonable.

I'm 26+5 have terrible indigestion, nausea and sickness. I also have SPD and am covered in eczema, my skin feels dead and I'm struggling with asthma too. (all pregnancy related)

I have already announced that I am utterly rubbish at being pregnant and am trying to keep a sense of humour......

Much wanted baby though, but it is hard some days.

[Emsyboo]

Complain all you like I agree with everything you've said. This is DC2 DC1 was bad but this has been much worse my sister sails through pregnancy and labours where as I get ALL the complications she annoyed me by commenting I shouldn't have children as my pregnancies are so bad -STFU!
Babies are a blessing and wonderful but bloody hell those of us that have hard pregnancies do go through the mill in different ways and should be allowed a moan!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy I really hope it gets easier and the rest of you too!

[Ellypoo]

You aren't on your own - am almost 28 wks with a very very much wanted dc2 but am a physical wreck - constantly shattered, PGP so struggling to walk and horrid heartburn. On top of that I'm completely paranoid & anxious due to my history. I know a lot of others have it worse but It's just a means to an end - the thought of holding my baby at the end is all that's keeping me going really.

[BelleEtLaBaby]

Phew! I'm not alone!!

Sorry to hear you are all having a crap time but secretly relieved its not just me :)

Labour is brilliant: you know it's the end. I was so happy to be in labour last time. DH said I hadn't been so happy since getting my bfp (little did I know what was in store lol) :)

[racheld33]

I completely agree, and worst thing is I'm only 6.5 weeks aargh!!!!!!!

First pregnancy awful with HG.
Now I'm pregnant again (planned) but spent last night sobbing to my husband with my head down the toilet. Got another 34 weeks of this!

[racheld33]

Also, my husband said it was funny how happy I was in labour too!
I had the 'bring it on' attitude and sailed through it, if only pregnancy only lasted 7 hours!

[Littlemissexpecting]

Phew I'm not alone!!
I'm currently 22 weeks with dc1 and spent weeks 8-18 in bed with hg unable to eat anything lost 2 stone and then had no energy etc.
that eased thankfully and I'm now in agony with my lower back and hips. Waking myself up in pain and sleeping very poorly. I've had 3 mc's so feel very lucky but really not sure i could handle a 2nd pregnancy despite longing for a large family. I feel like I'm constantly moaning to DH when I should be blooming but just counting down the weeks till I finish work so I can do absolutely nothing!
I am excited to meet my little boy, but can't say in enjoying the cooking process

[Scroobius]

I hate being pregnant and haven't had any if your horrendous issues if it helps! I've only had the standard heartburn, constipationy, backache type issues but this is my first and at 36 weeks I most definitely am not ever doing this again.
I just hate having my body taken over, I hate the big stomach that gets in the way and announces something that I actually feel is quite private to the world (who then think they can say/discuss anything about me/my life/my body). I hate the few stretch marks I've got on my thighs and I absolutely hate what this has done to my boobs.
I know this all sounds ridiculous but the only thing keeping me going is the thought of my baby at the end. I CANNOT wait for labour!!!
Sooo given your issues you definitely aren't alone.

[notdueforages]

I hate it too. Much wanted dc2 but at 18 weeks I have put on a stone and 4 pounds already and boobs have increased by 3 sizes. Instead of feeling grateful to have no bad symptims, I just feel like a fat ugly pig. I feel better for gettign that out though

[Jojobump1986]

Yay, a whingy thread! I'm on DC2 & really quite miserable! With DS I barely knew I was pregnant, other than the wriggling bump but this time I had nausea 24-7 from 3-17 weeks & would've welcomed the relief of actually being sick but it just never quite came! I hardly got out of bed/off the sofa that entire time, other than when DS needed moving from one room to another or feeding. I was just so tired & ill feeling the entire time & DH spent ages telling me I had to eat & asking what I wanted! Clearly, I didn't want anything & just thinking about it made everything worse! Since the nausea spontaneously disappeared I've slowly been getting some energy back but am still relatively house-bound because I get so tired & achy really quickly that I don't feel safe taking DS anywhere by myself. I usually manage to drive somewhere & sit & chat to friends while DS plays but I haven't dared to try shopping or even going to the park yet. I tried out my bump support band today to see if it would help with the stretching feeling I get around my bump if I stand up for more than a minute. It made my back ache! I'm not quite 24 weeks but already I'm feeling like I just want him out already. I was quite happy being pregnant until DS1 arrived at 41+1 last time! I miss my easy pregnancy & am getting a bit concerned that all these issues will impact how I feel about him once he's born. I don't want my children growing up thinking that I love one of them less because he was 'difficult from the start'!

[Jojobump1986]

Oh, & I have insomnia too, hence why I'm up at this hour! Roll on 4am when I might actually be able to get to sleep wedged between almost all the pillows we own!

I always said I wanted 4 children. I'm beginning to think 2 is enough!

[iamwhaticallpregnant]

Hi OP. I am due tomorrow with my first baby. I have hated / loathed every single second of it. HATED it. Never in my life have I have felt so 'not myself', paranoid, worried, anxious and depressed!! I have worried at every stage and am scared to death of labour. I have hated not working. i have been sick, not been able to eat etc. I feel literally like I have an eating disorder because STILL at 40 weeks I more or less throw up everything I eat. I have had heartburn from Hell. I too - feel like I can't complain as i know people who are desperate to be in my position. THE WORST THING IS WHEN i do complain and someone says "Oh i don't know why you'd notice being pregnant, I worked three jobs up until 40 weeks!" F%&%E%^K off! I didn't! I gave up work at 30 weeks because I literally couldn't get out of bed and I have an incredibly stressful stand up all day job.
I can't imagine ever ever ever ever ever being able to go through this again.
Phew - that felt good

[iamwhaticallpregnant]

and:
insomnia
indigestion
incontinence
sickness
exhaustion
depression
weepiness
jealousy
paranoia
SPD
cramps
leg aches
restless leg syndrome
wind
diarrhoea
constipation
bladder complaints
dry lips
leaky breasts
an abundance of facial hair

[glossyflower]

Agree with everyone here, especially last poster about other people saying how little troupers they were in their pregnancies.
I was at work a few weeks ago, really struggling to walk but I was determined not to let it get the better of me, when someone asked if I was ok I said yeah just back and pelvic pain...she said ahh yes, it happens to us all....well I'm sure it does but next time don't bother asking if that's all you have to say!

[BelleEtLaBaby]

Morning, fellow whiners! ;)

Oh, but it feels good to let it out, doesn't it?! Yy to the 'i was working three jobs/running a marathon/building a house by hand at 40 weeks and can't imagine why you're not as amazing as me suffering so' brigade. They can fuck the fuck off :)

Today's winge: I threw up into the sink earlier and it made me wet myself. :( Seriously?!
And Yy to not feeling myself - I'm a horrible hormonal mess and I really, really dislike feeling so bloody vulnerable all the time.

Waaaaaaaaaaa :)

[BelleEtLaBaby]

Ps: iamwhaticallpregnant happy due day! Hope it passes quickly for you. The end is in sight! :)

[BagCat]

Aaaaah! Great thread. I feel like I'm always moaning about one thing or another. One symptom disappears only for another to rear its ugly head. Am really happy to be pregnant but it's no walk in the park and I get a bit pissed off because you know some people are thinking, "what's wrong with her now, ffs" sort of thing.

[BelleEtLaBaby]

I feel like that too: like everyone's thinking, oh- just get on with it. My stepmom said to my dsis something along the lines of millions of women have babies, why do I think I've got it so bad? Step mum has never done it herself

[dontcarehow]

yep I know how you feel. 38 weeks here, and just fed up. I seem to have had everything but not full blown everything if that makes sense. Had nausea until 20 ish weeks but not being sick all the time, had pelvic pain since about 26 weeks but not bad enough to do anything about. Heartburn all the way through but not bad enough for medication. Not that I've asked for it, I just don't want to take anything in case it gets worse and I'm already tolerant to the medication! And I hate taking pills anyway.

Now I've got heartburn, trapped nerve, can't breathe, restless legs, insomnia, seemingly constant dehydration because I don't fancy drinking anything owing to the aforementioned heartburn, palpitations...etc. The worst part is that because I've got a smallish bump people don't believe me when I tell them I'm feeling bad, as if because it's so small it can't be causing me that many problems. yeah, that's how it works!

Whinge away, I understand. I was trying for 2 years for this baby, but there is absolutely no reason why we should enjoy the process of cooking it!

[iamwhaticallpregnant]

Yep. Happy due date - but no signs! FFS let this Hell be OVER. i cant take any more.
If my partner asks "whats up?!" one more time I will smother him with my pregnancy pillow.
I moan - a lot! - and all i get is other people telling me how much they did during pregnancy and how they cant understand why itd b so hard for me. MY Grandma said "well i had 4! And i was cooking dinner whilst in labour". Brilliant. It was the 40s! F@%K off.
Can i also moan abt the bitches who boast about "oooh im having mine via thesun roof on (specific date) so happy i dont have to go through the hell of natural labour again!"
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK COW!!!!!

sorry - i am at the end of my rope.